CARRIER (When Destiny Reigns )
New History

“Re, I don't think I'm good at using this tool,” Ela replied when looking at my results.

“Why, El?” I'll approach Ela immediately.

I was silent without a sound. Kurampas my blood leaflet. 315? I didn't see it wrong? I put the leaflet back on. 315, yes this number is not wrong.

“Re, then nothing?” asked Ela to touch my shoulder.

I woke up, I looked at Ela's face.

“Re, I think the result is wrong. I'm not good at using it. Let's try it one more time, and this time you did it yourself,” said Ela assured me.

Like a doll without any sense, I just resigned. Grab the rest of my blood and go back using the same tools. The print out results came out.

I fell silent, my tears flowing without a sob. I looked at the leaflet. Still with the same numbers. CD4 tool to determine immune levels. Where, when the number that comes out shows the number below 500. Signify yourself HIV positive.

“Re, I hope you're tough. This is not the end of everything. I promise, I'll keep all this a secret. Re, you are not alone, Re ...”

My tears broke in Ela's arms. Mind fucked. How am I supposed to get hit by this? what did I do until I contracted the virus? I kept trying to remember what happened that could have caused me to get HIV. The harder I thought, the more tears came out.

“Re, I promise I will always be with you. I will accompany you to face all of this,”, Ela said as she looked into my eyes.

I still can't speak. As if death were shadowing me. I know for sure that HIV is not that scary. Many ODHAs (People with Hiv Aids) are living their lives like most people. They can get married and have children who are HIV-negative if they regularly take ARV (drugs that must be consumed regularly by patients who are infected with HIV ). 

I continued to fight my fear with good thoughts that I took based on the knowledge I knew. But still this doesn't make the fear really get away from me.

That day was the worst day. Of the many bad days I've had. Many people have trouble finding work. At least, as long as the other friend doesn't know. So I can still live my days normally.

**have you ever asked for death when suffering was heavy?

And when something that causes death comes, then we feel afraid?

I'm human too.

However, please

Never ask death to come sooner,

Because death is coming and cannot be delayed

“Re, you all right?”

“Re, you've been pondering too much lately. Precisely, ever since that result came out, Re,” Ela said patting my back.

Huh !!!

I let out a breath of tightness that filled my chest.

“Re, let's find the information. I'll accompany you on medication, Re!” ela said as she gently stroked my back.

“Who is sick? You sick Re?” ask brother Joya cynically.

“Yes, it looks like her stomach is relapsing,” said Ela quickly while winking at me.

“Please take medicine soon, Re! Don't let permission hurt and trouble us all!” he said firmly which then passed leaving the dining room.

“Almost, El!” I said full of fear.

“Sorry, Re. After that I was so worried about you,” he said who then hugged me. “Re, you're all I have here. At present. So I beg you, don't despair, Re.”

There is a sense of happiness, even though we still have a family. In reality, we are just the two of us at the moment, away from our brothers and having to live independently.

“Re, try to find organizations or groups for fellow carriers. I think they'll help you a lot. At least you don't feel alone, Re!” ela said before turning her back and falling asleep.

I was also moved to open my phone. Find out more about HIV and Aids. But what comes out in the form of info on how to spread and symptoms.

Then, I re-typed ODHA (People with HIV Aids ). Yes, out the data. Some groups support the sufferer. My thumb just kept moving up and down with my eyes focused on reading.

Shit !!!

Why is no one in this area.

This time I type ODHA Medan. Go to a Facebook group. KODHAM (Couple of People with HIV Aids Medan ). I immediately asked for friendship. I was asked to answer the question the group gave me. They confirm my status. As a sufferer or as a mover of a group that protects the people of HIV. Without a second thought, I also acknowledged my status now who has been infected with HIV.

Slowly and I keep reading every post. In fact, comment after comment I read without anyone being missed.

Serrr !!!

My blood immediately flowed. My heart is beating ungodly. My sadness came again, until finally my tears fell without a sound.

They complained about not being able to get a job. Especially, the work that has to go through the MCU. To get them caught with HIV and fail to be accepted. Many of them were banished from their villages and families. Women who have to be widowed because of the death of their husbands. Those who have to face pressure from every citizen who knows the situation. They are intimidated by their environment. Those who are desperate because they do not have help in the form of drugs and therapy. Those who are removed seem to be the culprits of destruction for society. 

But now they are strengthening each other. Tell each other and share stories. They share information and solutions. Even many of them are helping each other, even though they are far away. They feel they have found a new family. They begin to have a passion for life. They are now working together to show people that they can live a normal life.

ARVs are government-provided drugs for people with HIV. This medicine can be taken for free. Even NGOs also help those who are struggling to get ARVs.

I'm moved. Slowly my spirit returned. Scroll on the back of Ela who was asleep. 

Oh God, thank you for loving me. He has sent me such a good friend. Please, keep loving me. I know, everything that's happened isn't to make me sad and down. Forgive me for wanting that death to come early. However, this pain made me realize the meaning of life. Please let my life be a good one every second. Aamiins.

As actors, we shouldn't sue.

Act according to the scenario.

Because the storyline is perfect.

By His hand the Maha**.