CARRIER (When Destiny Reigns )
My New Boyfriend's

I was silent for a long time, until Jo finally said “ Re, I beg you to be biased to me. I just want you to know how I feel. I never wanted to lose you. Even if you are just a friend. I want you to stay friends with me, Re.”

I smiled too, I nodded my head in agreement. The night was so beautiful, it was even the best and most luxurious dinner. But baby, my feelings were fucked up that night. After eating, Jo drove me home. The hostel I'm in now has a curfew.all our way in awkwardness. But at the end before I get out of his car, Jo says “ Re, tomorrow take me. I wait twelve o'clock at the airport,” I nodded then waved until Jo's car disappeared from my sight.

***

Today I went to night shift. Whether it's God's plan or destiny, I have no reason not to deliver Jo. There was a sense of doubt, of being ashamed of meeting him. But as a friend, I should have delivered it. There's a fear of not leaving, well I'm afraid Jo's gonna have a hard time communicating like Tama. My mind was glaring, branching out everywhere.

The middle time showed at eleven o'clock, for some reason my body was moved towards the bathroom. Get ready and walk out the boarding house. Back I was silent, it would be too late if I boarded the transport. Should I not just go? Suddenly the black sedan that Jo used last night came up to me.

“Mba Rere? Let's mba, I deliver to the airport,” he said with a smile.

My feet quickly stepped into the sedan. There's no doubt, if only this driver was a bad guy. Well, all I have in mind is that I don't want to regret not delivering Jo's departure. I don't want to see a sad face on his face if he finds out I didn't come. The sorrowful shadow of Jo's face made my heart beat, wanting to fly away so that it could soon meet her there. He is my best friend, but now he will leave me alone. Suddenly my tears came. Well, it's not love, it's losing someone, someone who means so much to me in my daily life.

I kept running towards the top floor of the departure point. I also found a tall handsome man with his brown hair was cool to brew cold lemon tea in a cafe.

“Jo ...,” call me with gasping breath.

Jo stood up and moved her hand to ask me to come to her.

“I think I'm late,” I said as I catch my breath.

Jo asked the waiter to deliver my favorite food and drinks. Well, as long as I'm talking, Jo loves to treat me and Tama. Not just because he loves us, but because he loves us. Until he was most fond of our favorite food and drink.

“Re, I want you to keep telling me. I want to help you even if I'm not next to you. I don't want to hear you sad or stressed yourself. I want you to promise to grant my request,” he said with a serious face, even more serious than when he expressed his feelings last night.

I just smiled and nodded. He gently stroked my hair. Warm and comfortable, my tears out. Well, over and over again I lost the man who loved me with his warmth. This time Jo, the friend who loved me left me.

Jo hugged me, as if she was crying too. For so long we have been swept away by this feeling and this feeling. Well, I never knew. There is still time to meet. It seems to be the last straw forever.

“Re, I love you. Please tell me whatever your situation is. I don't want to until you grieve what else is crying,” she said in my ear, who then took off a hug and gently stroked my hair. Then leave by waving after the sound of departure notification.

His passing made such a deep sadness, either because of the loss of my best friend. Or the love I just realized. I never understood my feelings. These traumas, sufferings and a sense of unwelcome love put me in a dilemma. It's just the feeling of survival that I'm aware of now. I want those who love me not to find it hard to be.

The driver came up to me, and he offered me to return home.

“Mba, this is a letter and a gift from Mas Jo,” he said while handing over a large paper bag.