CARRIER (When Destiny Reigns )
season 2 chapter 14
Along the way home Ari and Resi many stay. Not with Andrea. He was uncomfortable with this frightening state of silence.This situation far makes Andrea more depressed than hearing the name of the virus lodged in his body. The cold attitude he had to face seemed to corner him. All because of him and his circumstances. His attitude is so uncontrollable makes Resi and Ari afraid of misbehaving.
“Bun, why is Mother only silent? Don't tell me you're still busy thinking about the virus in my body.”
“Hm ..., no, Ndre.”
With a smile that forced Resi to answer Andrea's question.
“Bun, how about we vacation to Japan. Mommy wants to go there, doesn't she?”
“Maybe for not in the near future, son! Mother still has to be therapeutic.”
“Yes, Bun. Whenever you are ready, we will leave. So, Mother do not be sad anymore yes.”
Ari does not talk much, the annoyance of his stupidity has not disappeared. There is no passion to fight the brother. Shut up and focus on driving. That's all he can do now. Although the brother has forgiven and behaved naturally, but the frustration is still not gone.
“Ri, you follow?”
“Ya, of course sister,” while smiling wryly. Well, that guilt really affects his current attitude.
***
“Night, Bun.”
Andrea enters her room, takes off her clothes and takes a bath under the shower. He hugged both of his arms tightly and sat down. His cry came out as the water that soaked his body flowed. The crying was full of sobs and without sound. He did not want Mother and Ari to know his frustration.
Why should I?
What wrong?
Why does bad destiny always hold me together?
What am I supposed to do?
Instantly remembered the shadow of her who had awakened in a hotel room.
Well, that's ....
That's what got me infected with this virus.
Definitely her! He caused it.
There's nothing else.
I'm sure!
Arrgghh !!!
Andrea grabbed her hair firmly with both hands. She lay her body under the shower. He let his face be showered with water.
The tightness, heat and strength of the head pulse that he felt never disappeared. Until he was unconscious.
“Kak ..., Brother ...”
Ari's call from behind the door managed to resuscitate her. He pulled out his head and then told his sister.
“Short ...”
Andrea swiftly used her towel and ran towards the door.
“Kak, why did you open it for so long?”
“Oh, sorry. I didn't hear, I was taking a shower earlier.”
“Oh, okay. Mother calls Brother for dinner.”
“Go, I'll catch up!”
Andrea closed the door and wore her shirt. He stood in front of the mirror, watching his body begin to refill.
Andrea, look at your face. Smile ....
Andrea also forced to reveal her smile.
Nope, no. It looks so forced. You should be able to smile more relaxed. Give me your best smile, Ndre. Come on .., you can.
Andrea tried to smile again. Better than the previous smile.
Okay, Ndre. You can get out now. Relax, your attitude is able to calm Mother and Ari.
Andrea walked dashingly, he tried to appear dashing as usual. Cheerful and nosy. That was what he had to do to restore the warmth of Resi and Ari.
“Nak, why so little rice?”
“Iya, Bun. I want to eat more vegetables. I don't want to have a distended stomach like Ari.”
“As for Sis, I'm not that big right now. Let's see, who will win when the match later!”
“Well, I'm not sure you can be better than me?”
“Hah! We'll see later.”
“Already, already. You guys, when is the adult?”
Seen on his third face was a happy aura full of calmness. They came back comfortable, after being as warm as ever.
“Bun, I'm full right. Turns out, better a lot of vegetables than a lot of rice.”
“That's because of Mother's delicious cooking, Sister!”
“Yes, That's right. Oh yeah, Bun. If you recall, according to Mother, why did I get the virus?”
Suddenly the mood returned. Resi and Ari were so shocked by Andrea's question. They did not expect, Andrea continued to discuss it.
“Mother knows less, Son! Mommy thinks you didn't do anything that might have caused the virus to catch.”
“Mother remember? When I came home drunk the other day?”
Resi and Ari fell silent, their eyes looking at each other. They realized, it turns out that Andrea was trying to find the root of transmission.
“Bun, I think that's the only way that I'm infected.”
“True, Sister. I just remembered. It is possible, the woman did the **** when Brother was unconscious. And maybe that's why the woman gave an apology and felt guilty and told him who told him to do this.”
“Yes, I thought so too, Ri. Now I'm calmer, after I'm sure that's how it's transmitted.”
Resi was seen glancing sharply at Ari, looking a look of annoyance on the face of Resi will reaction Ari. Resi looks scared, if Ari's speech provokes trauma Andrea's syndrome.
“Nak! But you won't do anything by knowing this? this is also still your presumption, not the sure truth.”
“Quiet, Bun. I'm not gonna do anything. I just want to know. As the Doctor said, I just don't want to be considered contemptible and humiliating myself with the existence of this virus. Mother knows, the transmission of this virus is dominant with bad actions. That's it.”
“Thank God, Son! Mother wants you to focus on what you have to do. You can still live a normal life, too, son. So Mommy hope, you do not blame anything and anyone.”
Says made Andrea speechless. Jemari Resi clasped Andrea's hand tightly, and it made Andrea smile. Ari just fell silent, she began to realize Andrea's feelings.
True, HIV transmission is known as bad behavior. I'm sure, it becomes a mental burden in itself for Brother. Brother with all the responsibilities and good name of the family, I believe this to be quite a heavy burden. Even so heavy in my opinion.
The dinner ended with the end of the discussion on the cause of transmission. They take care of each other as support. That's the main thing to do. The warmth of the family and the natural attitude make us not feel cornered. Because of guilt and self-deprecation committed by family or self, it is much faster to kill a person than any malignant disease.
Resi, Ari and Andrea decide to go into their respective bedrooms. Ari laid her body with a million thoughts in her head.
Resi, venting her sadness while sitting facing the mirror. Well, the sadness of not accepting to see his son have to infect the virus.
Andrea lay on the bed. Close your eyes, cry with your body shaking. The bitter reality never ceases to find his life. Tiredness made him unable to speak anymore.
