The End of Long
The Part 40

I try not to cry when she is in front of me.

"Pardon me earlier.. "

"If you don't have to apologize for that, but I'm asking you never to do that again." Andre cut my conversation.

"Mas, will Mas let me go with the Clouds" though hesitant to say it I finally ventured to express my wishes.

I saw Mas Andre's eyes were red, this was not anger but he was currently enduring the grief. "Son Lika, until any time I won't let you go for anyone"

"Know that my heart is only for the Clouds"

"I know that, but I don't care. For me, having you by my side is enough to make me happy"

"This will not make Mas happy because maybe my soul and body cannot be given to Mas"

"Maybe now Lika is not ready to give it all for me, but I'm sure someday Lika will love me"

"I'm not sure I can love anyone but Cloud, because I've been separated from her for a dozen years. And no one can take his place in my heart"

"With love I'll change it all, I'll prove it one day"

"But Mas..."

"When I'm so tired today, so help us end this debate. I don't want to talk about this anymore because I'll never let you go" Mas Awan interrupted my conversation.

From his eyes it was clear that he was very tired at the moment, I also could not bear to argue with him again tonight.

"Lika starting tonight Mas will sleep in the other room"

"Mas!" it just came out because I was shocked to hear what he had just said. "Then I'll go back to the boarding house again" if forbidding him to stay here is impossible because this apartment belongs to Mas Andre,

"You're not staying here with me!" this sounds like an order to me

"What do people say when they see us living together!"

"Don't think what anyone else says, we don't live in one room anyway"

"No Mas I can't stay here anymore" I was about to stand up to leave this place. But Mas Andre held both of my shoulders so I could stay seated.

"Listen to Lika, who you should be worried about if other people see you with other men. And you are my fiancee. I'll move in once Mom and Dad get here"

"But I don't think we deserve to live together in a different room"

"So I've called Dad and Mom they don't mind if I keep you here for a while until they come"

Do you and Mom really mind? Didn't they always teach me not to violate the norms.

"Good night Lika" Mas Andre left me after saying his regards.

If you call Mom and Dad tonight, they'll be asleep, it's better to call her tomorrow to see if it's true that Dad and Mom don't mind if I stay with Mas Andre for a while.

I called Mom this morning to ask if it was true that they would allow Mas Andre to accompany me for a while. This was beyond my expectations, because I thought that Father and Mother gave me permission because it was Mas Andre who forced me to stay with me. It turned out that it was Father who proposed that Mas Andre temporarily accompany me first until they arrived here.

I think this is the best thing for our relationship. Because Father and Mother do not want that until I desperately leave Mas Andre to be with the Clouds. They don't want me to disappoint Andre or his family. At the moment it is not just a matter between me and Mas Andre, it is already concerning the good name of Mas Andre's family. Even if until this engagement is canceled at least not because of me, but because of Mas Andre's decision to step down.

Even though I crossed paths to go with the Clouds, but I would never do that. Because I know it's wrong, and it can tarnish the good name of Mas Andre's family. And I wouldn't have the heart to do that, let alone Mas Andre's family being so kind to me. I just need to convince Andre that our engagement shouldn't be done because it will hurt us.

Mas Andre knocked on the door "When breakfast is ready"

I don't want to eat breakfast, but it seems like a good time to talk to Mas Andre. "Yes Mas"

"Mas Andre cooks himself?" ask me for wonder

"Yes, but don't know if you like it or not?" he answered with a smile.

This makes me feel even more guilty for hurting her all this time, I shouldn't have received all the kindness from her. It is possible that his feelings did not develop into love as they are today, had I not accepted his proposal. But I also don't want to make it any more painful if I have to live with me while my heart is for the Clouds.

"If I can't cook Mas, if you say a woman who can't cook can't be a good wife" it's true that I wanted to make Mas Andre think again to make me his wife if he knew I couldn't cook. But it's not a lie because I can't cook.

"Listen Lika, I want to make you a wife, not an ART aunt. I can pay people to cook or even clean up" said Mas Andre with a smile "It's sitting now we eat later to eat cold" he pulled my hand to sit in the chair he had prepared.

I don't want to discuss our problems at breakfast, because it will certainly damage Mas Andre's appetite. I waited for him after he finished eating.

I approached Mas Andre when I saw that he was watching a TV show.

"Sit here Lika" she told me to sit next to her.

I followed what he wanted, because right now I don't want to make him angry so I can talk heart to heart with him.

"Mas" I took my breath to make me calmer. "Can we be together without getting married?"

Looking at my eyes, there was clearly disappointment from the look in his eyes. "I don't think we're together when you belong to someone else"

"We can be friends or relatives later"

"Sir Lika, thinking about you with someone else I can't. Especially having to see the reality you have for others. No Lika I can't" I saw a puddle of tears in Mas Andre's eyes. I know she's trying not to cry in front of me.

"That's also how I felt when I thought about having to part with the Clouds"

"I promise you'll never feel that, because I'll fill your life with more love and affection"

"Mas I'm sure Mas will do whatever makes me happy, but my heart can't just forget about Clouds and accept Mas to take his place"

"I will wait for you until your heart can accept me fully"

"Mas I've tried to wipe the Clouds out of my heart, but it never worked. I never knew at all whether Cloud's heart was for me. Especially now that I know how the Clouds love me, I think my heart will stay with him forever"

"It is only our love for God and our parents that we cannot remove from our hearts"

"Then can Mas's love for me be erased as well someday?"

"Never, for me you are everything. Maybe I can let go of anything, but I can't let go of you. The clouds can take anything away from me but not take you"

"What about my heart? Right now only the clouds are in my heart"

"When God has set our own destiny, because I believe that you are my destiny"

"Sama Mas I also feel that the Clouds are my destiny"

"You're wrong Lika, if the Cloud is your destiny why you've never been in one school for three years. If it's just a misunderstanding why you can never solve it"

"Because I consider this to be a test of love for us, it proves that our love is not consumed by time, even though it has been separated for a dozen years, he said, but that love never changes even if there's no hope of meeting"

"What about now? why is it all revealed after we decided to get engaged. Why the truth was not revealed before. This is all because your heart is predestined by God not to be with the Clouds"

"The word love people need sacrifice, maybe this is the sacrifice we have to live before we are finally together"

"It's not a test of love, but it's a sign from God that he's not your destiny. We as human beings may feel that this is best for us, but God has prepared something much better than we want. And I believe that I am the one chosen by God to be with you forever. So Lika whatever you want to fight with the Clouds I think it would be a waste if this wasn't God's destiny. Learn to accept what God has given you, because God knows that this is best for you"

It seems like convincing Mas Andre this time is futile, I am desperate in what way to make him change his decision. It may be true that he is the best when compared to the Clouds, but he cannot replace the position of the Clouds in my heart. It seems only a miracle of God can change his decision.