The End of Long
The Part 34

Our closeness just walked away, which I originally called Mr. Andre but now have called him Mas Andre. That's because he always protests that if I call in sir, I just follow what he said. After all, he is no longer my boss but someone who is close to me. Maybe some people think that I so easily turned my heart away from the Clouds and chose Mas Andre. But they're wrong. Until now I still love Awan, although there is a big loophole of hatred there every remember what the Cloud has done to me.

I was able to quickly get close to Mas Andre, probably because of his attitude that always made me comfortable. He always assured me that he would never let me down no matter what. As well as his parents, they love me as much as their own children. Moreover, Mama Mas Andre almost every day he called me just to ask news, or invite me to eat together back at his home.

My sadness is a little relieved by the presence of Mas Andre and his family who always love me with all their heart.

Tonight I did not expect that invited by Mas Andre to eat at the restaurant where he shot me first. Actually I'm a little embarrassed considering I've turned it down here.

"When you know that I love you so much" Mas Andre looked me in the eye. I'm sure just by looking him in the eye that he really loves me.

"Yes, Lika knows"

Mas Andre took off my hand, he took something out of his pants pocket. A jewelry box, I saw him open it. Suddenly the heart beats when it sees the contents, a very beautiful diamond ring. I can already guess where Mas Andre's talk is going.

"Will you marry me" Mas Andre gripped my hand on the table.

"Sorry, I think it's too soon for both of us. Do you know what my heart is right now?" I was confused what to say, afraid later Mas Andre misunderstood me.

"I know Lika, now I ask. In this world is there any other man that Lika wants to accept as husband except Mas?"

Indeed, there is currently no man other than him, if I used to expect the Clouds. But that hope is already buried deep, I will not marry Awan even though he is divorced with Laura. Although my love is still the same as before but I do not want to destroy the happiness of his son later.

"No Mas, but when Lika's heart is still hurt. And not knowing when it will heal in order to receive Mas Andre's love" it seems like I have to be honest with Mas Andre.

"I don't mind if Lika can't love right now because she's still hurt. As long as Lika promises not to leave me for any reason"

I just kept quiet not knowing what to say?

"Because I'm sure I'll be able to make Lika love me someday, and I'll wait for that time to come"

"But if getting married is too hasty, we just got to know each other. Mas doesn't know who Lika is and how Lika really is"

"I don't want you to get married right now, I just want us to get engaged first until Lika is ready to get married later"

"Why do I have to get engaged? We are together now"

"Because I was afraid of losing Lika, this fear was so unsettling to my heart. I want to feel sure that Lika will never leave me"

Seeing Mas Andre's eyes so make me feel guilty, I was confused to have to accept or reject him. If I accept that I feel that I have been unfair to him because my heart still belongs to Awan at this time, but if I refuse he will be disappointed because in fact I do not intend to be in a relationship with him. Because right now she needs confidence that I'm gonna stay with her.

"Mas wouldn't mind having a fiance whose heart is hurting right now?"

"Perhaps seeing this is too naive, but I suffer more when Lika is not there by my side. So for me loving you and with you by my side forever is more than enough. Although the love in your heart has not grown, but I'm sure someday you will love me because I will make that love grow in Lika's heart"

"You're too good for me, I feel guilty for you" suddenly tears rolled down my cheeks, I felt overwhelmed by Mas Andre's love and angry at myself why I couldn't love him with all my heart.

"If you don't cry, I don't want you to feel pressured by this desire of mine" she wiped my tears.

"Lika instead of being depressed, just feeling guilty why can't love Mas sincerely"

Mas Andre approached his sitting position, then hugged while stroking my hair "Lika should not feel that way, Mas apologize if making Lika feel depressed by Mas's wishes. No need to answer now, Lika can think about it first. Mas will wait for Lika to really be ready for this engagement"

"Thank you for your understanding"

-ooOoo-oo

I also want to pursue a career here, it seems like my opponent to advance bigger in Jakarta to weigh back again to Palembang. I was a little heavy leaving my family there. But I think it's the best thing I've been through there. I've been comfortable here with the new social environment, especially now that Cloud and Laura have never again come to disturb my calm.

That's why I thought about going back to my old boarding house, but Mas Andre forbade me. For a while it was better to stay in his apartment because he thought it would be a pity if it had to be empty. Because he's now back with his parents.

I actually asked myself why Cloud and Laura decided not to bother me anymore. Maybe they're married and Cloud can take responsibility for what he's done. Although my heart aches to lose Awan but at least I'm grateful he's not being a jerk who runs away from responsibility. So I can feel relief not being wrong loving him all this time. I am also trying to forget it, even though it has not been successful so far.

I heard there were rare feet entering my room. I'm sure it's Mas Andre because of who else besides him. Tina had come home from earlier because of an appointment with her boyfriend. I took the bag that was on the table "Mas.." The heart suddenly stopped because it was surprised it was not Mas Andre. My smile that was engraved on my face was gone somewhere.

"Mass?" I see the cloud's frown "You wait for someone's presence? Who's she?"

Why did you come again, I was trying to forget you forever. You should still disappear so that this love does not grow back in my heart. My heart was pounding as our eyes met, my longing that I had always seemed to be unable to endure. I tried to cover it all from the clouds. I don't want to until he finds out and intends to get back into a relationship with me again.

"Why don't you answer Cha? Who are you waiting for?" cloud said because I saw me still glued here.

Right now it's better to avoid the Clouds, so I'd rather leave it. I flinched as she pulled my hand.

"My answer is Cha!" The clouds stared hard at me.

"I don't think I need to explain anything to you" I turned my eyes to another direction.

"Cha please give me a moment to solve all the problems" Cloud's voice weakened again.

"Sorry Wan, I have no intention of going back the way I used to. So please leave me alone"

"Not until I'll ever let you go"

"Wan please let me live my life now without ..."

"But you're not happy Cha" Clouds cut

"You're wrong I'm happy now"

"Say by looking me in the eye!" he held both of my shoulders to look at her

I was still reluctant to look him in the eye, for fear that he would find out what my heart really was

"Look at me Cha, tell me you're happy without me!"

I can say this, but I have to do it to get the Clouds out of my life "I'm happy" I said trying hard to cover up my lies.

"Say you don't love me anymore!" The clouds looked at me sharply, she wanted to make sure that I didn't love her anymore.

My heart aches at the thought of having to say that, because deep down in my heart I still love her so much.

"Don't turn away Cha, tell me that you don't love me anymore. So that I'm sure and won't bother you again!"

It seems like I should really say it to keep the Clouds away, I gathered all my strength to say that. My chest that was pounding with the gaze of the Clouds eyes now seemed to stop. My heart aches "I don't love you anymore" My eyes are warm, but I still hold back from crying in front of her.

"You're really stubborn Cha, your eyes say that you still love me"

"You're wrong Wan I don't love you anymore" I said with my remaining strength.