LOVE ON THE HORIZON
ANNIHILATED

That sunny Sunday morning felt like a typhoon to me....

Sisca, the woman I've been with for the past 3 years, remarried to someone else, the more painful it was that I had to know from someone else. A thousand questions were present in my head.."Why and why?"

But I have to come, even if it's the last time...

I told my motorcycle to split in the morning, many times I took a deep breath to relieve my tightness...

There was a song of song degung sunda in the distance, I tried to strengthen my heart and step foot towards the reception area, the paved road was like a mud field for me, every step of my foot felt sinking and so heavy I lifted up to step.

as I filled the guest book, my hands trembled with my name, and Oh My God..souvenir it...the little trinkets I bought with Sisca, and when I asked "what are those souvenirs for ?"..."for the hawulan Mbah event" replied Sisca a few days ago.

I sat on the invitation chair facing straight to the pelaminan, I saw Sisca with a white kebaya and jasmine flowers on her head making her even more beautiful..with a beautiful smile she welcomed and received congratulations from the invited guests.

From here I see enough that my eyes believe what I see, that my heart may believe that my love is a betrayal....

But one of her family members saw my presence, she came up to Sisca and whispered something in her ear, Sisca looked at me gently from a distance, and her sister came up to me and pulled my hand "let's go, sister Sisca said take a photo together..."

A little reluctant I stepped, a minute later I was already beside Sisca, My heart was pounding as Sisca's fingers clasped my hands tightly from behind, hurriedly let go and shook the hands of the two brides , I still remember my tongue saying "Safe to your new life...."

Still with the batik shirt I was wearing, I drove my motorcycle towards the beach on the outskirts of Jakarta, I took a few small stones and I threw with all my might while shouting release the tightness and fatigue in my chest..

I found no answer to everything that happened today, just a noisy chattering sea gull...and the sun with a reddish hue that slowly sank in the line of the ocean horizon that accompanied all my galaxies.

"I want to meet.." The voice of the woman across there bought my daydream that afternoon....Sisca Voice.

"What else is Sisca for? still not enough for you?" reply me with a little anger

"Give me a chance once Adrian..." Sisca's voice rang out in the accompaniment of her sobbing

"It's Quite Clear Sisca.." I replied.

" Anyway I have to meet, in my hand there are two train tickets, leaving tomorrow morning.I wait for you at Jatinegara Station at 9.00 .."

I haven't been able to answer, Sisca has hung up.

I took a deep breath many times while occasionally smoking my cigarette...Should I come, then,? can I see again the face of the woman I love but have the heart to give a million pain and pain?

At first glance the shadow of Sisca while still with me and fill the day together.come to come clearly in my mind.Semenit then my chest feels tight and there is pain to hit the recesses of my heart...

Many times since yesterday , I tried to strengthen my heart.I tried to find answers to thousands of questions in my head, which I did not find until now...