Hijrahku From Dating
part 50's

Lecturers last schedule courses, none on campus today. We came home early. Roy, he's really moved out and isn't on this campus anymore. My days feel lonely without him. I miss him so much.

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I walked very slowly to the park near the campus, where Roy and I were often alone. I sat on the bench where we both used to date. I'm down. Feel the deep longing. Imagining Roy, as if he was still beside me.

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*ting.

One notification of incoming WA chat sign. From Roy.

"Met noon, baby," said Roy.

"Siang too. I miss you so much" I said.

"I miss you too. I haven't moved yet. It's lg get ready. Are you home from college?" reply Roy.

"Oh. Can we meet up? I'm already home. The lecturer didn't come in," I replied.

"Yes. I'd like to see you and ask you yesterday before I go" Roy replied.

"Ask what?" my many.

"But I promise you, don't be angry" Roy replied.

"Yes promise" I'll give you back.

"I want us ML, which. Before I left Jogja," replied Roy.

"You mean play Mobile Legend?" many doubt.

"No. But I want to make a bond first in your womb. Gini, instead of me meaning***** with you. But, just as a bond so I don't cheat on each other there. You understand what I mean?" reply Roy.

*deg's. My heart is beating fast. I shed tears. I can't believe Roy could say that to me. I was furious, replying to his message.

"You're crazy, huh?? No! Just so you know, I won't give my virginity to anyone before I get married!! You're evil! You fucking jerk!!" my reply.

"Lhoh, he said earlier you promised not to be angry," replied Roy.

"It's not weird. It's just a bond so I don't cheat. I promise you responsibility & marriage" Roy replied.

"NO! Anyway no! You fucking bloke! We're PUTUUSS!!" my reply.

That was my last message to Roy. I blocked the WA number. Immediately I open FB and block FB Roy. Instagram and LINE Roy, I blocked everything.

I fear. I was so scared of Roy. Turns out he's not the good kind of guy. I was crying so much. My feelings are mixed. My ears are hot, my heart is beating. Sad, scared, worried, chest tight.

I lowered my head, closing my eyes with tears constantly rushing down from the corner of my retina. I'm so sad. Why should my fate be like this? Two months ago, I was cheated. Two months later, I got a chat from Roy that he took me for adultery. Is Roy crazy? What will my future look like if I get pregnant out of wedlock? What would my Dad say if I followed Roy? I kept crying feeling the pain of the events that had happened. Instantly, I began to get tired of the heartache. Should I just follow Irma's advice, huh? Quit dating? It seemed, I was starting to find the answer to the sentence I still remembered. From an Islamic Motivation book: "Why is it that having a love before marriage only hurts?"

Because courtship is actually approaching zina. Sister Irma said, approaching adultery is forbidden by God. And what is forbidden by Him is certainly not good for us if we are attacked. Yes, from the incident between me & Rise, also me & Roy, I can take lessons from him.

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"Why? Heartache again, La?" ask a man.

I opened my eyes. It was like I knew his voice. But, who, huh? I haven't dared to raise my head, afraid it's Roy. But, his voice was not Roy's. The man was wearing pantopel shoes, like an office man. Who knows me in Jogja besides UGM Students? But, from his shoes, he was not a student. I sorted my gaze a little from the bottom up. The man in front of me, wearing loose black work pants and a neat black suit. He seems to be a successful businessman. I ventured to look him in the face, even though my heart was still pounding.

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"Sister Sam?" ask me with wide eyes.

I was wide open, as if I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Brother Sam. He was my Uncle and Aunt's son who had left home for a long time. I stood up, looking at Brother Sam with a very surprised feeling. Tears can't be contained anymore.

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"This is really Sam's sister? I didn't see it wrong, did I?" ask again.

"Yes, this is Sam's sister, Annisa," replied Brother Sam.

"Sister, where have you been all this time? Same uncle Aunt nyari Sister. Why did you run away? Brother wants to be a bad boy? Brother, Uncle same Aunt up to babysit me and considered a child, because they lost Brother. Where are you brother?" nyerocos.

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***

Seriate.