Hijrahku From Dating
part 19's

I opened my eyes slowly. I look around. I was still in that room. There's nobody here. I saw my hand, why not infuse it? I touched the waist, no stitches. Am I not in surgery? I woke up and saw the clock. Hour 03.05 WIB. I took my cell phone on the small table next to my bed, and stepped out. Is Adam healed? Perhaps, Adam had recovered by himself without kidney replacement. I was in a daze and my heart kept wondering.

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When I got outside, I saw my friends crying and hugging. They stood up as soon as they saw me coming out.

"Why are you crying? I'm fine," I said with a smile.

But there is no answer. They're all quiet.

"Why are you quiet? Was Adam healed? The proof, do not need a kidney replacement?" my many. But still no answer. My heart started to beat too fast.

Mother and Aunt also cried. The two of them approached me who was still staring at the door. Mother took a long breath.

"Bismilla. Honey, what do you think if someone lends something to someone else. And the owner of the item is asking for the goods back?" ask Mother, sad.

"The borrower of the goods must return the goods he borrowed to the owner" I replied.

"You're right. So let Adam be taken by the Owner, God," replied the aunt.

*deg's.

I sat on the floor. I broke tears. I want to feel like I'm screaming! But I kept my mouth shut tight. My legs are limp, my body is helpless.

"I don't believe" I said in a raucous voice.

Mother squatted down and stared at me deeply.

"Darling, accept God's destiny with grace" Mother advised.

"I want to see Adam one last time" I asked.

Mother nodded. Mother and Aunt carried me with both hands on their shoulders. I stepped in with staggered steps. My friends are concerned about me. Slow down, I'm headed to Adam's room.

"Innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji'uun," I cried, as I saw Adam had been covered in cotton on his nose and ears.

I asked Mother & Aunt to be escorted to the mosque. Slowly, I came out of Adam's room.

"You're patient, Nis!"

"You must be strong!"

"You're a tough girl, Nis!"

"Take Adam."

"Let Adam meet the Owner in peace."

"God be with you."

"We're here."

"Never feel alone."

Said my friends who tried to comfort me as I passed them to the mushola. I tried to smile with the smile I forced. Because my heart cannot accept.

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I was calm and alhamdulillaah was calm. My steps are also not staggered anymore after berwudlu. Mother & Aunt left me at the hospital mosque. I wear mukena and do sunnah Tahiyyatul mosque prayers & prayers 'Asar. Then, I do a prayer.

"O Lord is All-Powerful. You have taken the person I care about most and I must accept it. All goes on Your destiny and I am sure Your destiny must be the best for me. O Allaah, behind what I do not like, you may think is good for me. You are Knowing, and I do not know. I am a weak creature, so strengthen my heart after this incident, Allaah. Forgive all the mistakes Adam made. Reply to every good. Including all the good he ever did to me. God, you are the dependent place. I will hang all my troubles and my heart to You. I give my heartache only to You. Give me strength through this ordeal. Allaahumaghfirlahu warhamhu wa'fu'anhu wa'aafihi. Wa akrim nuzulahu wawassi' madkhalahu. Waghsilhu bimaain wa tsaljin. Wanaqqihi minal khathaaya kamaa yunaqatstsaubul abyadhu minaddanas. Wa abdilhu daaran min daarihi, wa ahlan khiran min ahlihi, wok zaujan khiran min zaujihi. Wa qihi fitnatal qabri wa 'adzaabannaar. Aamiin," I prayed, then I pressed my palms against my face that had been soaked by tears.

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***

Seriate.