Choosing to Let Go
episode 36

"You haven't been evil to my question, yet" said Keyndra.

"What questions?” I asked while looking at him briefly.

Keyndra thrust chocolate flavored milk, I accepted it. "Who is evil?" tanyakanya.

I just watched Keyndra's milk without intending to drink it. Is that not so sensitive as he is?

"You." I replied with a fixed look at him.

"I'm sorry," he said sounding sincere with shady eyes staring at me right in the bead of my eyes.

Deg.

"Why apologize?" ask me slowly, I'm afraid if it turns out my guess is right.

"Because yesterday I gave you no news at all. Because make you sad until you cry. And, because I feel like I should apologize to you."

I sighed, hearing his answer. I tried to breathe in as much air as possible, trying to reduce the tightness in my chest before I seriously talked about our relationship.

"Not because of that, there's anything more serious than just that Key."

"I feel such a jerk." said Keyndra, the man lowered his head.

"You're a fucking Key!" my reply.

Keyndra nodded his head repeatedly as if confirming my words, with a still down position. If that's true, why is he honest now. Why is she still keeping me, while Sandra is by her side. Was I just a distraction to him. I raised my head, holding back the tears that were ready to slide down.

"I miss you very much Ay. You don't miss me?" ask Keyndra. The guy still similarly lowered his head, this time he played his own hand.

I quietly did not answer, although I really want to say "I'm very upset with you too, Key." I'm glad he missed me too.

But this time I must not melt with her tenderness again, with her sweet word. I don't want my heart to hurt too deep. It's time, everything has to be done. Even though our relationship is a threat.

Keyndra grabbed my right hand, opened his palm. Then put it on the boy's chest.

"Well, what a big date, right?" tanyakanya. Right, I can feel Keyndra's heart beating abnormally.

"You're the only one who can make my heart beat like a gini, Ay." continued Keyndra, Keyndra's eyes burst into my eyes. His gaze was very deep.

"Why you?" I asked while pulling my hand from his chest. I tried to strengthen my heart this time so as not to melt. Even my heart is pounding fast now.

"I'm not alone, am I?" ask him with fear. Is he that scared if I don't miss him too?

I stood up, I really couldn't hold all this. "You really are Key." I said with tears that I could not hold anymore.

I was really upset by all of his words. Whatdoes thatmean? After she showed off her picture on Instagram with Sandra now she talks to me like this? As if nothing happened. Not feeling guilty at all? Although I love her so much, I still have my pride. I don't want to be the third person in someone else's relationship.

"I was wrong?" her tan held my hand, looking up at me.

I sighed, not thinking about the guy.

"I didn't think you were this asshole Key. Is this really a Keyndra?" my many. I've had enough of a fight here. I've hurt enough here. I no longer want to have high hopes for our relationship.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Keyndra while raising her eyebrows.

"Sandra, who are you? What's the connection between you guys? Why is it that where you are, your family is, there is also him? Your photo yesterday is enough evidence. I am who are you really? What does it mean to me in your life, if there is someone else who can make you more comfortable and happy than with me?" I said with a sigh, staring into the bead of fixed eyes looking at me as well.

"I'm sincerely Key, if you find a better one than me. I'm sorry if I've been wrong with you all this time. I am a human being who has a lot of flaws. I'm sorry if I haven't been the best for you. Thanks for three months of this. Everything we've been doing together all this time is precious and meaningful to me. Although for you it may be useless and have no meaning at all. Thank you for your feelings all this time. Although for a while I am happy and happy with you, can feel your love and affection. Maybe now it's all for someone else. I think it's enough to get here, everyone. Let go of me, I will also release you." I said trying hard even though I couldn't stop my tears.

I tried to catch my breath, saying that all my chest felt like it was being squeezed by a huge chunk of rock. I could see Keyndra's confused look, when I heard me say everything earlier. He just kept quiet, as if trying to digest what I meant.

"May I have a hug one last time?" many doubt. Keyndra didn't answer, he's not even looking at me right now.

I wipe away the tears that can't stop coming out of my eyes. Trying to smile at the guy still standing in front of me. He was still the same still silent without saying anything.

Not even my last request was he given. I ventured closer to her, then hugged her tightly for the last time. I took a deep breath, so I could smell the man's perfume. Because it's one that I like about her and it always makes me feel good about being in her arms. I'm sure I'm gonna miss this.

I smiled wryly, when not even Keyndra returned my embrace at all. After I felt enough, I took off the hug.

I looked up, looking at Keyndra who was staring at me in silence. I put on my best smile for that guy.

"Thank you, we're still friends, right? Happy always Boo its Bee!" I said even though he was silent.

I couldn't even pretend to smile at him. I strengthened my legs, leaving her as still as the statue from earlier. I immediately ran somewhere, I wanted to calm down at this moment.

It hurts so much, even Keyndra didn't come after me. Not saying or defending anything. Is this proof that there is a special relationship between him and Sandra. If not, why is he silent? That silence justifies everything.

Even if it hurts, I hope it's best for both of us. Hopefully after this we can find each other's happiness. Especially for myself.

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