You're Changing, Mas
Trust me

That voice I knew so well was right behind me. I wanted to turn around, but it was hard for this body to be moved. If I turn around, then what will I say? While I was embarrassed enough to deal with Gibran. I feel guilty for leaving him when I was still his wife even though the lawsuit has been filed by Mr. Gibran to me.

"You looking for me?" Ask Gibran again who this time has turned right in front of me.

"Emm..," I was a little surprised and didn't know what to say to her.

I briefly glanced at Gibran after that looking down embarrassed. It felt really awkward, like on a first date with him.

"Let's go in, I have something to talk to you about!" Pinta mas Gibran who stepped first into the house.

I'm out of words, I want it to feel like I'm out of the house. But I don't want to run away from trouble like yesterday.

"Mom Amanda, come on in. Let Auntie bring her suitcase into the room" said the waiter's aunt.

"Yes, thanks Bi."

I went inside and continued to walk in front of the room. I stared at the room I was in with Gibran, I really miss him.

"Let's go in, why just stand there," said Mas Gibran who seemed to have been waiting for me.

Then I went inside after Auntie the waiter went outside putting my suitcase in the room. Slowly I stepped up and sat on the side of the bed while Gibran was still standing looking at me nonstop. I could see the look in his eyes pointing at me intensely, like something was stored in his mind.

"Are you tired? Then you rest first. I'll be back" said Gibran, who was about to leave.

"No Mas!" sahutku fast.

I don't know, I don't think I'd be willing if Gibran had to leave in front of me right now. Just met up and left again. Am I not important to him? Hah, I forgot if she's getting engaged next week.

"Then why are you silent. Your face looks pale too?" ask Gibran.

"Emm .. i-this I'm not wearing makeup," I touched my cheeks. Indeed, since I left from abroad, I forgot to wear makeup so hurriedly back to Indonesia.

"Oh, that. What about your trip today? Fatiguing right? If you want to rest, go ahead. Don't forced. I can wait, really!" Again, Gibran reminded me of my tiredness.

Is that as pale as I am in his eyes? Or maybe my face and my appearance look messy and chaotic? It must be because I'm stressed and don't sleep all night, so it looks unattractive in Gibran's eyes. My God, why am I so careless.

"Emm .. Yeah I-I want to take a break for a while," I said a little nervously.

"Well, I'll be back" he said and walked away.

"Mas!" I continued to call him.

"Yes?" his steps stopped for a moment.

I went awry. I just kept quiet not knowing what I was going to say. I'd love to say 'stay here with me' but I don't dare. You shameless me.

"What's wrong? You need anything?" As if offering help.

"D-no!" I said while shaking my head.

Mas Gibran just nodded slowly, after which he passed away.

I immediately got up and went into the bathroom. Honestly this time I was really speechless in front of him. Listening to her soft voice made my heart beat as fast as when I was first in a relationship with her. It was romantic then. If my household and Gibran's were okay, my life would always be happy with him.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror, and how surprised I was that it was true that my face looked dull, pale and panda-eyed. It's only natural that Gibran thinks I need a break. I also look cute once.

"Amanda, what a shame on you!" gumamku.

I cleaned myself with the scent of therapy, relaxing my mind to make myself feel calmer. Long enough I soak in the bathtub, then it's neat with my casual clothes. I sat on the bed staring around the room so neat and clean. I'm sure it must be the servant aunt who always cleaned this room.

The room I always missed is now mine again. I also hugged a bolster pillow as a comfortable feeling of letting go of longing. The atmosphere was so peaceful that I didn't even realize I was asleep. I feel like I slept well.

HOAMMMMS

I stretched my muscles when I woke up with my eyes still soft and a little sore because of the light in the room. Looks like it's night. Who lights up in my room?

"Away awake?" Ask someone to surprise me.

"Jeez, Mas Gibran .. You've been here since when?" I immediately turned towards the balcony door where Mas Gibran was standing at the moment.

"Since then, I thought you were awake. It turned out to be still sleeping, "Mas Gibran approached me and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Oh yeah, what did you want to talk to me about?" I reminded her, I'm trying to calm down.

"Later, now you better eat first," said Mas Gibran as he took a tray of food and drinks that he had placed earlier on the nightstand. I just realized it.

"You prepared this meal, Mom?"

"Yes" he answered.

Mas Gibran began to spoon one rice and the side dish, as well as thrust it in front of me.

"Eat, you look skinny right now. Did you eat unguarded while abroad, Hem?" ask Gibran as if to insinuate me.

"Don't you fucking care about me. I can eat by myself, "I'm pissed at him.

"Once, just eat. I'm a bribe," to Gibran's.

"I don't want to!" I put Gibran's hand down.

Mas Gibran began to release his spoon onto the plate.

"I know you're still mad at me. But I don't want you to be sick" he said gently.

I feel like this time Gibran's treatment is different. I remember her nature when I first knew her. This is the Gibran mas I have known for a long time, which is kind, soft and caring. But why did the treatment turn back into good? Did he realize his mistake when I left him? Or is it just a reminder of her treatment of me before we parted? Really I can not guess the change in Gibran mas which often changes like this.

"Don't you kindly care about me if it's only good that you show for farewell!" my spoken.

"You want our farewell to happen?" Gibran asked.

"You divorced me yourself, Mom. Moreover, soon you will be engaged to another woman. Is that your affair? All right, I'll be signing a lawsuit from you soon, Mas!" Say it with teary eyes to bother stringing sentences.

I got up and started looking for a lawsuit in the nightstand that Gibran once gave me. Surprisingly, the letter was lost. I'm sure the last time I put it around here.

"What are you looking for?" Ask.

"The letter of the lawsuit, I put it here but it's not there now" I replied with a still-looking hand, probably tucked away with another piece of paper.

"Once again, forget the letter. Eat first!" Pinta mas Gibran stopped me from finding the letter.

"But...."

"Do you want us to get divorced, huh?" Ask Gibran again.

"You want it yourself, Mommy. Hiks hyks, "I said this time crying.

Mas Gibran took my body and then he put me on the bed again.

"Now calm yourself."

"How can I calm down when you're getting engaged" I'm mad at him.

"Listen to me, everything's gonna be fine, okay. Now eat first. Since you came home from abroad there hasn't been a single meal. Let's eat, please!" Push it gently. I'm hypnotized until I see what he wants.

I devoured a mouthful of food into my mouth from his hand. Slowly I chewed the food with difficulty because while crying.

"I'm full!" I stopped the fourth bribe from Gibran.

"Now you rest, don't think. Believe me, nothing bad will happen to us" Mas Gibran touched my cheeks, then looked at my face. I saw sincerity in both eyes.

He seemed to provide assistance so that the burden of the problem was all left to him. I just need to trust him.

"I can't believe you, and you'll get married later" I said, who may not seem to like Gibran.

"Married? Looks like you'd really like me to have some honey, huh?"

UHUK UHUK UHUKKK

I choked when I heard the word 'Madu', that one word that always haunts me until now.