You're Changing, Mas
Question from Mama Seina

Everyone has memories of the past. It's either a sweet memory or a bad memory. Sometimes we feel happy when we remember the good times. But also sometimes feel hate reminiscing about the bad past, there is also a shame that we want to forget from our lives. It feels like those bad memories have to be wiped out of our memory. Yes, at least take the lesson for what we have passed in that time.

There are times when we long for the good memories of being with someone who made us happy in those days. Wanting to return in those happy memories, but it is impossible and will never happen, especially when remembering bad memories that occur after. Sometimes we forget that in this world happiness and sadness appear one by one and can appear together.

But I remain grateful that I choose to forget the bad past and prepare for the present, the future. I also have to be prepared for the reality of my relationship and Gibran's next.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, I-I'm good. Why the hell, is there something weird about me?" I doubt a little.

"No, just I noticed the first time I met you and the second time this your face looks not okay, that's it. Yeah, that's what I think."

"Ah, I know you. I'm fine and I'm healthy" I argued and showed her the best smile.

"Are you happily married to Gibran?" tanyanya back.

"Huh, emm .. ba-happy, very happy," I said nervously and lied.

This time my voice sounded strange and suspicious to him. I could see from the look in her eyes when I saw her and looked at my face so intensely.

"I hope you're honest, because I'm not willing to see you unhappy with Gibran. I'm going to wrath and beat Gibran with my own hands. You know me, right?" he said with a threat tone.

"Ihhh, what the hell don't be pretentious. You better know. Always make me hang," said I dilute the atmosphere.

"Good dong. Is it still hard to deal with me?"

Honestly, there was indeed a slight tremor when I was nearby. But I don't know what to say. But my heart is now not focused on answering because the shadow of my imagination is always on Gibran.

"Ah ah, I go home if you keep joking," I rise to my feet but my hands are held back by it.

He smiled at me, a very shady smile I felt. My heart ached by Mas Gibran was now lost instantly when I saw the smile of someone now facing right in front of me.

"OK, sorry .. Now I'm serious. I want to be honest with you. Truly, the regret I felt for so many years left me tormented, Manda. I could not hold on to our relationship. But I chose to retreat." He held my shoulder and looked me in the eye. Indeed I admit when I saw his face there was a sense of regret in him.

"But one thing you should know, Manda. That my heart still survives under the name Amanda Wulandari and it cannot be replaced by any woman. If you were alone, anything I'd do to get us back together." This time his face was full of disappointment. It was visible from his breathing.

I didn't feel my tears running down my cheeks. At first glance I immediately wiped away those tears. I deeply regret the story of my relationship with this man, the man who used to be in my heart. His treatment of me was very polite and wise. Always respect me and treat me as a good woman. The days I spent with him were very colorful and happy. Honestly, I really miss the good memories with him. I quickly wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry, Amanda. Is there a little left of your love for me?"

I'm speechless. I honestly can't answer her question. On the one hand, my status is that of Gibran's wife and I also love my husband. But honestly from the deepest of hearts, I still miss the figure of the man who once filled my days happily.

"I...."

Dert dert dertt

Suddenly there was a phone call and I immediately answered him with an unreasonable feeling.

Hello Mama.

I-iya, Manda come home now yes, Ma.

Tut Tut tuttt

Phone calls are disconnected.

I stared at the man's face with nanar, so heartbreaking. My heart was like it was sliced, feeling unbearable. It was normal at first but the longer it got sicker and hurt.

"I'm going home first, yeah. Mama Seina was waiting for me at home. Thank you for today," I immediately stepped up after saying goodbye to her.

"Wait!"

He prevented my move.

"After this we can still meet, right?" He asked doubtfully.

I looked at him and nodded my head.

"Thank you" he said with a smile.

After saying that, this time I stepped away leaving her alone in the cafe where I used to meet her.

Honestly, my heart feels good to see him again but on the other side my heart is sad because it thinks about the fate of my household story with the messed up Gibran mas. At least, my mood that was initially stirred by Gibran mas has been treated with the presence of someone in my past.

*******

"Assalamu'alaikum, sorry to wait so long, Ma?" I immediately greeted Mama Seina after I entered the house.

Mom is sitting on the living room couch. Maybe Mama Seina was waiting for me to come home. That's why he sat in the living room.

"Mama wants to talk to you, Manda. Are you and Gibran really going to split up? What's the problem with you getting divorced?" asked Mama with a slightly irritated face.

DEG

I limp for a moment. My heart started beating pretty strong. I hope I don't faint here. But I can't answer what Mama Seina said. But I tried to stay calm and take a proper breath.

"Divorced? I mean Mama .. I and Gibran won't be together again, will they?" my voice trembled asking back about the question that Mama Seina was giving.

"Yes, is it true that you and Gibran are getting a divorce? Tell me, what's the matter exactly? Mama thinks your relationship is okay, right? Mama doesn't agree that you split up. Please think back," said Mama Seina unceasingly raising unreasonable questions in my brain.

"Who-mama knows who if me and Gibran are getting divorced?" ask me with eyes that have begun to glaze over.

"Gibran himself, he said the same to Mama."

DUARR

"A-what ... mas Gibran?" tanyaku.