You're Changing, Mas
The Greatest Regret

POV Gibran Radhika

I felt like I lost control when I found out he was coming back to Indonesia. It's hard to breathe. I think my marriage to Amanda will be happy forever. Many of our dreams have not yet been realized. I'd like to go back to the times when Amanda and I had a relationship without anyone else's interference.

Because of her presence, my relationship with my wife was broken. I had to pretend I didn't care about Amanda. Pretending to be angry, being cold and mean to him. Not for no reason I did that. I did it because I was forced to make Amanda hate me and leave me. That's all I did because of 'HIM'. He who returned after several years left Indonesia and opened events in the past.

At that time, I just got word from him, that my wife left Indonesia with him, a person I really hate. I was so angry and rushed to call Amanda.

"Thank you for the phone, Manda."

"Let's pick up, please!" I muttered repeatedly to my wife, but there was no answer from her.

Maybe Amanda didn't pick up the phone on me on purpose. Because I was sure that she did not want Me to know her whereabouts, her heart was still covered in such a deep pain to me.

I tried to call her back, but this time her phone number was out of reach. I'm so worried about Amanda.

"Arghhh siallll," I said with annoyance.

I am truly sinful and very sorry. And right now I have to accept the consequences of what I did to my own wife. In fact he actually left me before he signed the divorce papers I filed. Honestly, my heart's intention is not to want this divorce. But I was forced to do it.

I know that Amanda hasn't let go of our farewell. Actually, I'm happy with Amanda's departure that delayed our divorce, but on the other hand I'm sad and sorry for Amanda's passing without my knowledge, let alone my wife going with someone else, she said, the one Amanda should be avoiding.

Amanda Wulandari is the only woman I love and love so much. I can't hurt her for my unfair treatment of her. I was mean to him. I don't deserve to be a good husband to him. So I decided to break up with her, because I made a terrible mistake in the past that Amanda didn't know about. I realized that I had to return Amanda to 'He'.

There are indeed things I feel like wanting to make excuses for the cause of the mistakes I've made. Even I once felt that the mistakes I made were not purely due to my own carelessness. On the other hand I must save one's life from someone else who will harm it. That's why there's so much I can't just say about what I did to Amanda.

I walked languidly toward the servant aunt at home. I wish there were signs I could tell from my wife's departure.

"Bi, when did Amanda leave the house?" my question is full of anxiety, especially the suitcase that is on top of the closet is not in its usual place.

I'm sure Amanda must have taken some of her clothes with the suitcase.

"Auntie doesn't know, sir. As Bibi recalled the last time Bibi spoke to Amanda's mother when Bibi delivered a message from Dad to sign the letter as soon as possible, after which Bibi no longer saw Amanda's mother at home until now. When Ms. Amanda left she was not alone with Auntie," said the servant's aunt with great difficulty considering the last time she interacted with Amanda.

"Letter .. yes the letter, the lawsuit letter from me," I muttered directly to the room.

I'm looking around for the lawsuit I gave Amanda through my servant's aunt at home. I don't know what Amanda's mood was. It's only natural that he's tired of our lives now because of me and my stupidity. I shouldn't have urged her to sign the papers quickly, so Amanda left this house.

I sat on the edge of the bed, crying out for the fate of my domestic life with Amanda who might never be able to return as happy as before.

"So it's your decision, Manda. Just leave by leaving a problem that we have not solved. I know you must be sick because of me. But you shouldn't have left me without a word" I squeezed the lawsuit I found on the nightstand. I'm really sorry.

"At least, say one farewell sentence for me, Manda!" I was so frustrated to see the fact that I couldn't resist my wife's departure.

"As far as you know, my heart has been broken to pieces since the first day that I hurt you. Please forgive me, Manda!"

In wading through the wheel of life, we experience a moment that might make us feel a sense of regret. In fact, not infrequently the feeling of regret leads to a down condition.

For the first time I began to feel my greatest regret. The feeling where I was in between feeling sorry for myself and hating myself about my whole life.

I'm so frustrated. I couldn't think clearly at that moment. I want to run and find Amanda. But where? Do I have to hire a detective to find my wife? Even until now I have not been able to trace the location of the whereabouts of 'DIA' taking my wife away. You coward, take someone's wife as he pleases, I swear.

Sometimes we see something as more valuable, when we find out that our loved ones have been lost and taken away by others.

"I can't let you go with him, Manda. I'm not willing."

"It's all because of that jerk. I will not remain silent. I'll definitely find you, see it later."

"You don't know how rotten he is yet, Manda. I hope you're okay there."

In the end we were completely alienated, you left with the annoyance I made, then I turned around with all my regrets. Crying over my regrets, I knew this might be karma. Yes, I accept this karma, the fact that time cannot come back. Among my long line of regrets, letting you go is not one of them.

But now, I'm so sorry and so devastated about Amanda's passing this time. He really left me, left me in front of me and I don't know when I'll see him again. Turns out I miss him a lot. I can't stand being away from him. Everything she has, I love it. Even her laughter, her smile, her gentle demeanor, I fell in love with her for the umpteenth time, never to fade.