Winarsih Waiting
Episode 19's

Now there was only me and the mature man in the room. There was a bit of fear in my mind. The man in front of me was staring back at his laptop screen. I felt like a lost person here, confused about what to say, while the man in front of me did not start the conversation. 

*****

The atmosphere was silent, only the occasional breath of the man in front of me was heard, while I tried to breathe without the sound of a breath even though it felt tight in the chest.

"Whose name are you?" Finally the voice of the man broke the silence. 

"Shinarsih, Sir!" answer's short. 

"You applied for a job here, let me see your cover letter and your cv" the man asked me for something I didn't make. 

"Ma– sorry, Sir! I did not bring. I just happened to see when I was eating meatballs here, sir." I replied slightly stammered. The man in front of me nodded his head. 

"Alright, then, this you fill up now." commanded the man whose name I did not even know, handing him a piece of paper and a pen. 

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After I filled out all the requested data, I handed back the paper that had contained my personal data, to the man who had a handsome face in front of me. He checked my data, he seemed to be frowning. 

"Your address is in Semilir?" his eyes turned to look at me. He called Mama Mira's address, I did fill my address with Mira's address. 

"I– yes, Sir!" His probing look made me a little nervous. 

"Where do you live?" 

"I don't know yet, sir. I'm still going to find a place to stay, I was new in this city this afternoon sir." I explained. 

"Then you better stay here. There are three employees living here. They also come from out of town. At least temporarily, if you are not comfortable staying here, you can find a contract." he said, "tomorrow you start work, your job is to help cook food for all employees here, he said, let Ms. Tika guide you. If it's a matter of salary, you've seen it, right here? Do you agree with my offer?" continued again.

"If it's a salary issue, I'm a match sir, in my opinion, for now it's enough. Then I can go home, sir?" askaku. Actually, the salary problem earlier, I pay less attention to it, I just focus on what I have to fill without reading anything else. Oh. careless me! Thought. 

"May, you can also stay here tonight."

"I'm sorry, sir, if I may, I'm here in the morning, sir, because I still have to sort out my things first" I replied. 

"Alright, then you can go home now. Tomorrow you can come back here." he replied kindly. Very different from the first impression when I just saw it, the impression was cold and indifferent, but it turns out my boss was a friendly figure. 

"I'm sorry, sir, what should I call you, sir?" ask me to vent.

"Oh yes, sorry! My name is Aditya Nugroho, commonly called Adit." he replied kindly. 

*****

The next day I started working at the meatballs sale, my job was to help Ms. Tika cook food for the lunches of the employees who worked there. In addition, I also served to shop for kitchen needs and ingredients to make meatballs. 

His employees are a lot. Making what we cook will be a lot for every day. In addition to serving buyers in the shop, it turns out there are also some people who have to sell with a cart. They will be in certain places. And they will be provided with the lunch they bring before they leave in their wagon. Each employee is given a day off alternately in one week. 

From the friends who first worked here, I learned that Mr. Adit was a very kind and caring person to his men. 

*****

I worked at this place for a few months. My busy life makes me quickly forget my sadness and longing for Bening. Although sometimes at bedtime longs it feels so heavy, but will disappear along with fatigue and sleepiness that irritates the eyes. 

Sometimes I text with Mbak Mira to just ask news from Bening. Sometimes I see a photo of Bening through the post of Mbak Mira on his social media. It seems like she grew up properly, my son is so beautiful and cheerful, seen from the smile and laughter in the photos and also the video uploaded by Mira. It seems that her foster family loves her very much. 

It has been over a year I have never visited there, although the distance from the city to the area where Mbak Mira lived is only about three hours, but I have no intention to go there to see Bening. I'm afraid that the more I see my son, the harder it will be to escape from him and of course my love will be even greater for him. 

Even on Bening's first birthday, I just said happy birthday via a message on the green app. Not giving gifts, or just video calls. Only prayers I always say for him, may the Lord always protect and care for him, and make him a useful child for many people. 

Actually when I remember Bening, there was pain in my chest. Undeniable deep in my heart, I love my son very much, but because circumstances make me have to let go to part with him. I hope that one day he will be a strong boy, I don't expect that he will acknowledge me as his mother, I just want to be able to hug him one day. I realized that I was not a mother, even though I had given birth but I did not take care of my child, could it be called a mother? A mother is a woman who can take care of and educate her child as best she can, while I? 

Sometimes I tell Mira about my life here, and she also occasionally advises me to be more careful in getting along, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. 

Now I am close to a man named Genta. I know him through my friend Pita, who also works at the same place as me. Genta is the cousin of Pita. Me and Genta are just friends venting. But Pita says that Genta likes me, only that she has not dared to express her feelings. 

Ever since Pita said that Genta had feelings for me, I kept a little distance from her. Not because I dislike her, but other than the fear that is still entrenched in my heart, I am also self-conscious who is only a widow and uneducated. While Genta, he is single and a student. In any case, I don't feel right for him. Maybe he likes me because he does not know the past and status of the widow I care about. I'm a little secretive about my personal problems. 

"Win, you are asked to continue with the Genta," said Pita, as we relaxed while watching tv.

"What's wrong?" I asked with my eyes fixed on the tv. 

"Why don't you want to reply to a message from him, he said he misses you, Win! Are you angry with Genta? " I don't dare look at Pita's face. "she really likes you, Win," continued Pita again when I was still confused to answer her question. 

"No, kok. There's no reason I'm mad at Genta, Pit. I've just been a little tired lately." I said a little lie. 

Ting! 

I heard my phone ring a sign of incoming messages, on the sidelines of my conversation and Pita.Lalu reached hp and I press the button on the right to activate the screen hp, then I swiped the screen to see the incoming message. My body was cold hot when I found out who sent the message. Why else would he call me?