Winarsih Waiting
Suspectable

I sharpen my hearing again, is what I really hear? 

"That's, Mom! Shame actually accommodates people who cannot take care of themselves. Nerepotin, just want how else, same god Mira insistent want to help the child." The voice of Bu Sukma from the warung. It seemed like there were some mothers sitting down, so I could not see them because it was covered in a window located in front of the stall.

"But how can the child ask Mira for help, Mrs Sukma? Where's his father?" I heard a question from another mother. 

"He's an orphan, his parents have been dead for a long time, Mira said he has no family."

"Yo, it's natural to, Mom, if the child's life is free. Who taught him that he already had no one, Bu Sukma, no one was worried." I pretended to be busy picking snacks so I could hear their chat.

"Yes, Mom. Even pity, already have no one, meet the same striped man again," said a voice again, who did not know what it looked like. 

"Pity that he knows himself, Miss Tum! I washed my clothes, and he slept. Eat and eat, dirty dishes are not washed," Bu Sukma began to make up the story. "somehow yes, Mom, I often see him like to glance at my son. I'm scared, Mom! My son's broken home." Added again. 

Oh my God, why would Miss Sukma slander me that way? It never crossed my mind to destroy Mira's household. 

"Sir, what are you going to buy?" tanya who had a stall, she looked at me suspiciously. I handed over the bread and snacks that were in my hands. Then I gave you the blue money. 

"You're ting–" Not done yet the mother said I've just left. I don't know what he wants to say. 

"Hey, Ma! This is the change yet!" I kept my feet up without caring about the screams of the shop owner. 

There were no more tears that came out to hear the chatter of Bu Sukma and other mothers. Either it was over when I cried earlier, or my heart was getting used to it. 

Although my parents have long since died, but I have never felt this much pain. I thought hearing the words from Mbak Hanyk at that time was the most painful, but it turns out that now I feel even more pain. Is God angry at me for giving up on my son? 

While I was eating bread in the room, I heard footsteps coming from outside towards the living room. I quickly hid my food under the bed. It's nothing, I'm just afraid that comes Bu Sukma. I don't want him telling me anymore. 

"Who else, Win, have you eaten?" It turns out that the one who came was Mira. He's still wearing his work shirt. 

"Yet, Ma'am!" answer honestly. 

"Coconut yet?  It's late afternoon, you know! If you get sick, you have to eat a lot. Eh... Why is your face so swollen? You cry? Wh why? You're not at home? " tanyanya like a train. 

"No, Ma'am! I don't taste, want to eat bread earlier, Ma'am. So I bought it at the stall. I ate a lot" I said, a little lying. 

"But you have to keep eating, Win! Eat up, gih! I'm going to go to the room, rest first. Don't forget to eat." I just nodded. 

After Mira left, I went to lock the door. After that I went back to the bread. 

Geck! Geck! Geck! 

Fifteen minutes after I locked the door, a knock was heard from the front door. 

"What's up, Ma'am?" ask me after I open the door.

"Round around the yok complex, let's not squat. Just five o'clock." invited Mira, the net saw a clock hanging on the wall. 

"You're tired, huh? Ya–"

"No, Ma'am. I want to, "I feel bad about refusing Ms. Mira's invitation.

We also circled the complex streets together, while telling stories about many things. About his family, about the Mas Dewa family, and others. 

"Where are you going, Mir?" suddenly there was a motor that stopped next to us. 

"It's all shopping, Mir," replied the mother, who was wearing a blue dongker hijab, now her eyes were on me. "who, Mir?"

" My cousin, Mom,"

"Be careful, Mir! Take good care of your husband, now many actors haunt." The woman saw me cynically. 

"That's, Mom?" It seems like Mbak Mira has not realized the direction of Bu Tumina's speech. 

"Now there are many brothers who destroy us, Mir. Don't be so trusting, even your own brother." Ms. Tumina looked at me and Ms. Mira took turns. 

I saw Mira look at me like she felt bad. He seemed to realize that Bu Tuminah's words insinuated me. 

"Yes, Mom! We continue on, it's getting darker, Mom," Mira pulled my hand. 

"Mir.." call the mother again, Mira turned her body around.

"Mom just remember to be careful. Hair can be as black but the heart no one knows." 

"Thank you, Mom!" mama Mira said, then pulled my hand back. 

After that incident, Mira and I kept quiet. We were busy with our own thoughts, no matter what they thought. Is it from now on Mira will not believe me anymore? Will she be worried that I will take her husband? No Ma'am, I won't take your husband, believe me. There was never any intention in my heart for it, not even that.

"Win, Win!" Mira patted my shoulder. "you why?" 

"Why, Mommy?" many confused. 

"Ee.. asked instead of nanya. Why are you shaking your head?" Herbs. 

It turned out that I unconsciously shook my head, as I was busy in my daydream. 

"No papa, Ma'am, there was a fly that was passing in front of my face," I lied covering my shame.

*****

I've been staying at Mira's house for a week. Bu Sukma every day told me this and that, sometimes the curse he also threw for me. I don't know where my fault is, so Bu Sukma hates me so much. Maybe because I was at his son's house. Or maybe Ms. Sukma did not believe that I was pregnant from marriage, which unfortunately my husband left while I was pregnant. 

I never asked for my fate like this. No one wants to live his life like me. Left by parents while still in desperate need of affection, no relatives, and unfortunately now I was even left the same person who should have been my back.

I used to be so grateful when my new dad died, I wasn't a street kid. Mr. Haji wants to support me, and help me with my expenses until I graduate Junior High. After I graduated Junior High, I did not continue my schooling. Mr. Haji told me to look after his credit stand, and I could stay there. Mr. Haji made me a room, which was plywood-walled. 

Mr. Haji did not allow me to stay at his house because he had a son, who was several years above me. Mr. Haji is worried about unwanted things happening if I stay there.

My father used to work in his life to cultivate land owned by others, the result is only enough for daily needs and to pay the rent of a house per month. Dad asked for his wages to be paid per month.

Father said, my mother died of illness. But because there is no cost, the mother is not taken for treatment. I also don't know what the sick mother was.

The father of two brothers, and the father is the first child. He has a younger sister who is five years under the age of his father.

When I sat in High School, I stayed snekos because the location of the school is quite far from the grandfather's house. One day, dad is picked up from school by a neighbor grandpa. He said I should go home, because there are important things that cause me to go home. At that time the father just obey even though in his heart wondered.when the martyr asked, said the person who picked him up, the father will know the important things later when he arrived in the village. 

When he arrived at the village, he was very surprised. He didn't expect it to happen like this.