The Love that is Abolished
31. My son My spirit

Since the birth of Syifa, my busy life as a housewife has increased from taking care of the house, taking care of the husband and taking care of the children, but I thank God I enjoy all that. I feel happy when I care about my son's smile, I feel peaceful when I see many of my little daughters. I feel hurt when my son feels pain. And I feel sad if my son cries, or is fussy.

The bigger Syifa is, the more fussy my son is, every night always crying, and my son is often sickly probably because I lack knowledge about caring for babies. Mas Anto not understand my situation, or intend to help me, but instead busy with his own world that I think is unclear. Every night I carry my son so that my son does not fuss anymore. Because I'm also not good with my rented neighbors, afraid to interfere, although I know they must be understood, the name of the boy must have a fussy time.

Mas Adi and Mbak Anggi are newlyweds, but Anggi is also pregnant with her first child. Her age is only 4 months old. These are the people who always care about me. Mas Adi used to work Mas Anto. Because he got the job that Mas Adi wanted out of PT mas Anto.

"Mas Adi helpin Mbak Aliva gendongin Syifa, pity no one changed" said Mbak Anggi at the time, maybe do not have the heart to see me achievement.

"Yes, ready yank" said Mas Adi.

Strangely Syifa was secretly carried by Adi mas, the nights were invited to go muter-muter while I was with him, afraid later if Syifa fussed could be replaced. Same mas Adi, Syifa can even laugh never fussy.

"Where is Anto?" ask Adi at that time. But still holding Aliva.

"I don't know Mas, the saying was overtime" I replied.

"Ooh." answered Adi briefly

Every fussy Aliva even who immediately came carrying Adi mas, not Anto mas as his father.

Every day busy keep his ales overtime, do not know really what overtime not. Since I read the diary of Mas Anto at that time my love has been eroded little by little. I survived because there was Syifa and I was ashamed of both my parents.

"You ain't cooking the deck?" asked Anto that night, after he came home from work.

"Bayem cooking was mas, same fried tofu tempe, I jga nyambel. But now I've thrown the spinach because it's not good." I replied.

"Don't you eat tofu like tempe mas?" tanyaku later.

"You how the hell Dek, I'm tired of work, just cook with food using sambel tofu tempe." replied Mas Anto angry.

After the shower. Mas Anto came out while slamming the door, Syifa was shocked. It made Syifa cry. I also cried in shock too, only the first time to see the roughness of the nature of Anto mas.

Mas Adi came up to me and directly carried Syifa, I followed Mas Adi behind him, crying I followed the steps of Adi mas.

"Propay ya." said Mas Adi

"Yes" I replied with a hug.

"Have you eaten, if you haven't eaten there with Anggi?" ask mas Adi.

"I ate it." I replied.

"Emang Anto tuh, do not have feelings, do not have ot**, do not have a heart, cry child instead of in a cradle, didiemin even left to stop by." mas Adi even babbled ga karuan.

"Maybe looking for food Mas, was about to complain, feel hungry. "I answered accordingly.

"Whatever the reason is supposed to be if you have a child it should be able to act mature, laa kok this even added kayak brat." oceh mas Adi again.

"Let us." I replied with a smile.

After Syifa fell asleep Mas Adi immediately put Syifa to bed. I admired my son with love.

"You also rest, don't think about it. Anto emang so, consider it more work so the inn is angry constantly" said mas Adi calms me.

"Yes, a lot of help" I replied, closing the door.

I laid my body next to my son. I look at my bedroom ceiling. I remember the past softness and automatism of Anto mas.Now there is no such thing. "Why can you change, mom?" my question is in my heart. "Is there love for others?" a thousand questions are in my heart.

I look at my son, I'm not tired of seeing him. You are my hope, you are my spirit, you are my eyes... My kid. I tenderly caress the head of my son, and I bring up my prayers and hopes. May Allah always take care of you, make you a great woman, make you a dignified human being.

At midnight Mas Anto came home without greetings, went straight into the room and fell asleep. I don't know what demons have possessed his body just say hello now it is not able to. I can only stroke my chest, and shake my head, seeing the increasingly unreasonable behavior of mas Anto. May the Lord give me plenty of patience, so that I may always face the nature of Anto.