The Love that is Abolished
24. diary

The wheel of life is always turning. That is reality and cannot be denied. Today is like, there could be suffering tomorrow, happy today could be tomorrow nelangsa, this time is miserable, could be tomorrow we are rich. That is the wheel of life sometimes below and sometimes above.

"Second me overtime, there's a new machine coming in from abroad. I have to go with the new engine first" Mas Anto told me.

"Yes, what time will I be home, mas ? " tanyaku to Mas Anto.

"Ga know Dek, maybe it can be late at night, do not wait, if you are sleepy first." replied Mas Anto.

"Yes, you don't forget to eat." I said remind Anto.

"She's my dear wife" said Mas Anto again.

Bored to hold me, watching TV there is no good show, I just squeak the remote, move around chanel but nothing attracts my heart. I try to find other activities. I opened the book Mas Anto. Who knows what I need. My eyes were on the book that had faded its cover. I took the book. I opened it and I read it. This is my husband's book. War in the heart read what? read what ga? I keep opening up sheet by sheet. Cubaca.

The last time Anto wrote in the book, it was written 2 days after our wedding. I was reading Anto's outpouring of books. My little heart actually has reminded you not to read, if there will be something that makes you hurt. Just forget it.

It says curses my husband.

I can't forget you Dance. You're my true love, my first love. Why does fate always separate our love. I haven't touched him yet. I was so lucky, the first night he again came to the moon. Hope we meet up with Tari soon. I miss you. Wait for me always, baby. "

It collapsed as if my world was reading this book. Shocked to disbelief, so all this time I was just a shadow wife. Wife escape only. "Your work is on me." I said in my heart. I never thought Mas Anto, who I thought loved me, loved me sincerely. It turns out there has another love.

What does it mean to pay attention to me all this time? Why would he propose to me if he didn't love me? Meaning the words of love and affection that he had been saying fake? Questions filled my brain. Everyone needs answers. I feel like I'm the dumbest woman in the world.

I returned the book to its original place. Don't let him suspect. My crying doesn't stop, this chest pain is like being scratched by a shard. I never thought. "You seem to have 2 dual personalities, mas. You're good at theatrics." I said inwardly. You're so good at hiding all this.

What should I do, while my marriage has only been running for 2 weeks. I never realized my stupidity. Should I ask Mas Anto? and let everything go according to the storyline.

I hold my love and I wear my face. I'm laying on you, Rob. I shed all the wounds of my heart. I told you about my pain and problems. I believe there will be wisdom I can take away from all this.

After my heart calmed down I tried to close my eyes. Even though my eyes still shed tears. God is fair. After I got tired of crying over my stupidity, I fell asleep.

I don't know what time Anto came home. I actually woke up when he came home, but I pretended to sleep. I am still heartbroken, because I have been played with by him. Maybe tonight I will record my sins for not serving my husband.