The Angel of Time
chapter 50

We left the barbershop in the Paeitan. Hope and worry enveloped my mind. Even so I tried to put it down. We went back down the road surrounded by the fireflies again, but unfortunately the fireflies were gone. The beautiful light of the insect has gone to make the night even more gripping, I no longer hear the laughter from Astrid.

I kept going faster and faster until I arrived at the fork in the road that we should have taken to the right.

"Are we sure we're not going to Ngluwar?" I asked Astrid who was sitting behind me who had been silent noiselessly,

"Yes." The answer sounded so flat, so not beautiful for me to hear,

Hearing that answer I don't have to convince you of the answer anymore. I'm accelerating our bike. Until the border bridge of Jogja and Magelang I took the road to the left, to avoid the road that might be jammed in front later.

What is he thinking? Since it was noiseless, usually he will hum or he will fall asleep if the trip is far enough.

"Why you?" I tried to break the silence,

"Nothing.." The answer is still flat, though,

"Suddenly you are silent.. Not so happy." I said,

"Just keep.. We have to get there soon." he said,

I don't know why I believe so much in his gut feeling, when it's not sure it's going to happen. I hope it won't happen. All right, I'm gonna believe in myself that it's not gonna happen. I had to break that premonition, though the closer it got to the cost the more my heart thumped.

"Awhile more... Any minute.. In a moment.." I kept talking in my heart,

My eyes keep staring straight ahead. I reduced the speed of my motor. Just one more kilo meter I'll find the answer. Although I tried to be sure, but Astrid's premonition made me not confident. I didn't forget that he was an indigo kid, that's what made me feel like his gut was right. I usually follow my instincts, today I can't believe it. Oh my God, what am I worried about? Is this relationship over or is something else going to happen?

My heart beats faster, my breath goes in and out irregularly, my eyes are round stunned at the car that is already located in front of the Astrid boarding gate. The car was black, which I saw was pretty clean. I got so slow and slow that I stopped in front of the gate blocked by the car.

As soon as my anxiety stopped, my heart started beating normally, my breathing began to stretch again.

"Is this really his car?" I looked at Astrid, though,

"No.." the answer still remains flat, though,

"Let me look inside." added Astrid, he got off the bike and tried to check inside,

Cqvmk..

The sound of the gate he opened, he immediately walked towards his boarding room. I was still waiting for him in front of the gate. I don't care whose car this is, even if it's Jafar with his friend's car, I'm not sure. I'm sure he won't come.

GreKKkkk..

Astrid opened the gate from the inside. His face had changed, the smile began to curl again on his face.

"Nothing.. I thought this was the car he was carrying, it wasn't." Astrid walked over to me, though,

"We've been looking for food.." Astrid looked at my face,

"Where do you eat?" I'm confused, though,

"That's near the cost here there's a good coke, a sultry chicken." Astrid replied,

"alright.. Come on!"

Let's forget that worry, forget that worry, everything's fine. The anxiety also makes me feel hungry. In time when everything will be revealed, the relationship we live is indeed behind an Astrid dating relationship with Jafar, what relationship do we live? There was no clear status between me and him. But I got used to sitting with him, eating with him, and always with him. Like we were dating. But I don't want to take that. Although Astrid never said she loved me, but I could feel the feeling flowing through my heart.

I don't understand the weather today, but it seems like it's starting to rain. In front of a not-so-large restaurant with yellow paint, I parked the motorbike I was carrying. I saw a middle-aged woman wearing a jacket, and long pants below the knee with several boxes filled with food, she stood at the entrance. I was about to enter had to stop because it was blocked by the mother. When I looked at the box he was carrying, suddenly the mother turned to look at me. I saw tears streaming down the mother's cheeks, as soon as my heart slashed itself.

"No, I bought this brownie." The mother offered me the box,

"Fifty thousand.."

"I need the funds for my son's surgery costs.." the mother's voice was getting crushed along with the sound of her crying, I just looked into her eyes, my God.. I really see this mother's eyes are very sincere,

"If not in surgery, my son's leg will be cut off." the mother wiped her tears. My eyes were fixed, watching this mother walking away from me, when an employee of the stall tried to tell her to leave because she was blocking the entrance.

"Book mail!! Don't block the road..!!

I was still silent to the mother who was walking with a slight limp, she tried to go to another stall to offer the brownie she was carrying, she seemed to walk crashing rainwater fall with a simple umbrella, he said, I was still standing in silence at the door. I'd love to buy it, but I really don't have the money to help her. Oh my God, it's so hurt to see this, a mother walking a little limp, crashing in the rain to sell the brownies, for the sake of her son who had surgery, and she cried.

"Guo..!" astrid's voice called out to me but I was still watching the mother, whether anyone bought it or not.

"Giooo...!" I looked over as Astrid pulled my hand,

"Message first." said Astrid, I finally ordered the same meal that Astrid ordered, then we headed for the seat.

"Why you?" ask Astrid, please,

"I didn't have any feelings for my mother.. What if no one buys?" I held back my tears that I couldn't stand,

"We can't help the mother by buying the cake that the mother brought, but we can help the mother with prayer." Astrid looked at me sharply,

"I don't have any more money." My tears finally flowed down my cheeks, I couldn't hold back the tears in my eyes. I looked down, and covered my face with both hands.

"I don't bring any more money." Astrid said,

I feel like why should Astrid do something for me, can't I do anything without Astrid?

"That's why we should be rich..! We have to work hard until we get a lot of money, so we are rich.. So that we can help others, so that we can help people who need our help. Even though we can now help, but we can't completely, try when we work hard and we have a lot of money, it feels great to share with people who are much more in need" Astrid said,

I was silent and agreed with the words he said. I rubbed tears on my cheeks. I calmed down a little to hear Astrid, the reason we became rich, to help people who were much more in need.

"Looking at my mother you were crying, I know the reason why you were crying, you can feel the sadness of others, because you have a soft heart" Astrid said,

Hearing that I looked into his eyes, I didn't expect him to say that.

"It's been.. Let's just pray for that mother." Astrid smiled trying to calm me down, though,

I don't understand what I feel, seeing other people cry, it feels connected to my heart, seeing people suffer, it feels like my heart can feel that. Remembering that since childhood my family was not whole, growing up without the affection of a father, made me grow up with the tenderness of a mother's heart. I tried to find a replacement for a father's affection by replacing the affection of friends. By finding friends, friends and other bonds that will be a valuable bond. It is true, not only happiness can be shared with others, but pain, sadness is also able to be shared with others who recognize the bond. I will not be anyone else, with this me, this character of mine, despite bearing burdens and resentments, I will still live to be myself. Thank you Astrid, thank you to the friends who confessed me.

My imperfect family, the story of my life that didn't work out, how hard it was for my mother to take care of me to grow. I don't want it to be ordinary for me. I will walk the path of my life, the path of life I have chosen, I will strive to be a better, personal person who may be very different from the average person, if it looks perfect, he said, it's not for me, if it's good it's not for me. To my mom, and my Grandma who's been babysitting me since I was a baby, I believe they're proud of the way I live. Bittersweet journey, that's what we felt a long time ago. I believe it shaped my character into this. Feel the suffering of others, the pain, the pain. It would make me appreciate how important it is to bond with a sincere person and befriend me.