The Angel of Time
chapter 49

I had promised to accompany him to go to a place where he had been KKN. Yes right in Ngluwar Village, one of the Villages in Magelang. Astrid has always been loved by many, the way she looks at someone is a force of sincerity. He was loved by a Cadus mother, like a son. He may not really understand things like rice fields, or gardening. Even so he will not be silent, he will help what others do. From the process of harvesting to selling in the market, he did with Kadus Mother.

Astrid came out from behind the door in her usual brown jacket, her face looking at me. He smiled and saw me sitting in the chair by the window of his room. I stood up to greet his distinctive smile. "Come..!" greeting Astrid while locking the door of her room, we were ready to leave, but today she had to accompany me to get a haircut first. It was late in the afternoon, so just head straight for the haircut. Indeed, usually I will cut my hair in the usual place, even though I have to go home to Magelang.

We went on his motorbike. The sky looks bright orange. His hands hugged as usual.

"We cut our hair first yes, then we will go to Ngluwar!" I said,

"Follow Gio.." says Astrid,

The sky was getting dark, I chose a path not so far away. Taking a shortcut, passing a small road accompanied by rice fields.

"See that.." Astrid shouted pointing at the flaming insects flying around the road we were walking on, saying,

"That's a firefly, right?" ask Astrid, please,

"Yes it's a firefly." I replied,

"That's there again.. Very nice.." Astrid raised her voice,

"I've never seen this many fireflies, in my house there are many buildings, so there are no fireflies. I love it, and it's beautiful.."

I just smiled hearing that, it felt as simple as this could make you feel happy. Without doing anything, he could laugh. It feels very comfortable, yes.. It's very comfortable. If from someone else's point of view, maybe I'm here as the destroyer of people's relationships. But, I never forced her to be with me, nor did I provoke them to break up. But this comfort I took it as fate, for I did not plan to get this close, this closeness unintentionally, the comfort came when he also said, "I can feel comfortable, I can feel comfortable, when we fall asleep in the mosque, while taking shelter. I can be comfortable without you touching me." I just live what has happened, if asked where is the purpose of this relationship? Which relationship? Didn't I say, let me chase after you even though I know later you're not mine. Actually I don't know what I'll feel later. Pretending to be strong, or am I strong? I'm ready to take this risk.

*********

"Why you?" I asked while looking at his face,

"I have a hunch.. He's coming!" astrid said in a flat tone, her gaze looked blank.

"I have a feeling he's coming to my boarding house today.." Astrid again explained her premonition, she meant none other than her lover. Yes, Jafar!!

My eyeballs were round, my heart suddenly felt like it was about to explode, like an atomic bomb ready to destroy the city of Nagasaki. Cold sweat was flowing all over my body. Anxiety burns all over my body, my mind is completely muddled.

"Maybe he deliberately came without giving any news! He used to surprise." Astrid said, clutching her hand,

My mouth was unable to speak, I imagined what if he saw us? What will he do when he sees me and Astrid coming home from here? If true he came, and already stood at the boarding gate of Astrid. What if I end up having to be forced to stay away from Astrid? Moreover, from the story of Astrid at that time, do not let him get angry and tear apart where I work. If he had to fight, he would have won. I have no fighting skills, while Jafar, he has been following martial arts. Even if I'm battered that's not what I think, but it doesn't feel ready to part with Astrid. But, I had to fight my anxiety, I closed my eyes and was sure it would not happen.

"How do we want to go?" that was my question after I fought my anxiety,

"We're going straight home!" his eyes were still blank, and his tone of voice was very flat.

My hands clenched against my anxiety. I did not know who Jafar was, but from what Astrid had told me, I felt that he was a brutal figure, with a tall and large body, while I might only be as high as his shoulder. I'd be so embarrassed if it happened where I work. It's a matter outside of work, if he goes berserk at the outlet, what should I do? I don't want the names of people who believe in me to be embarrassed because of such problems. Don't want to end up being a loser!

I turned and looked at Astrid who was next to me. It doesn't feel quite ready if I have to part with him in this way. Accompanying him until the last time in Jogja that is my wish, if I will follow him to Tangerang, it seems I am not sure it will happen, but it is not impossible if Astrid who arranged it.

All right, whatever happens I'm ready to take the risk. I must be ready to stand straight in front of him. If after this really happens. I think the choice is in Astrid, I have to accept whatever happens. Maybe if in a fight I would lose, at least I could win Astrid's heart, or I would end up being a loser in front of Astrid's own eyes.

"It's time for my hair cut.. I'm going in first!" after waiting in line, it was my turn to get a haircut. Astrid simply nodded in response to "yes". I immediately sat in the chair that was provided for the haircut.

"What model do you want?" asked the barber as he wrapped the cloth to cover my body so that the pieces of hair did not fit into my clothes.

*******

About half an hour of the hair cutting process has been completed, it is quite a long time if cutting my hair, because my hair is stiff makes the barber have to be careful in cutting it.

I walked out the door. With a single instant Astrid looked at me, she stood up and walked towards the bike, I followed her from behind and sat in front. I took a deep breath to convince my mind that everything would be fine.