My Bow to the Destiny of Love
Let me keep this feeling in silence

Ghibran raised his face. His eyes stared pushyly at the couple who were still laughing on the swing. In the past, he often met and joked with Chayra at that place. Now, his position has been taken over by another man.

Suddenly Ardian ran into the house. Ghibran raced in disbelief. It was as if Ardian was giving time for her to approach and speak to Chayra with four eyes.

The ghibran ran over to the Chayra. Nudging Bian's stretched body blocked his path.

"Where is Ghibran going?" Bian came running after Ghibran.

The ghibran smiled after standing a few meters behind the swing that Chayra occupied. Slowly approaching the girl. Start moving the swing slowly.

Bian stood watching all of that. He was too young to learn to understand the heartbreak that the two humans were going through. "Does falling in love have to be this complicated? In other moments happy. On the other hand, some are hurt to see that happiness. Huh, I'm afraid of falling in love this is the story." Mumbled to himself.

Chayra smiled as she felt the swing back in motion. "Lho, Brother Ardian is spitting up once. He said he had a stomachache. Did you forget to go in the bathroom again? Did you come back to ask that?" Chayra raised her head. His lips were tightly set to see who was standing holding the swing rope.

"Sorry, I'm doing this without your permission." Ghibran swallowed his saliva. Feeling of anxiety. Afraid that Chayra would suddenly leave him without giving him a chance to talk.

Chayra could only be silent. He wanted to talk, but his tongue felt really heavy.

"I can't tell you for that man, Zahra. Heavy, very heavy. I can't even sleep because your shadow is like dancing in my eyes." Ghibran's hand clutched tightly onto the swing rope.

"Sir Ghibran must be sincere. If Big Brother can't do that, then forever Big Brother will feel pain when I see me laughing with other men."

"I've tried it. Not just once, but over and over again, Zahra. But God has not removed your name from this heart. I got confused. Especially what is this woman named Chayra Azzahra, so that when I try to take it off sincerely for others. I'm very hard to do that. I almost gave up and wanted to kidnap you like that guy did. Maybe that way I can have you."

"Astagfirulah.." Chayra closed her eyes and swallowed her saliva. "I'm not a special woman for a man as special and as smart as Ghibran. I'm just a despicable woman who's been the victim of rape. I left Brother Ghibran not because I did not love Brother Ghibran I. I. I. just feel inappropriate for Brother Ghibran."

"I'm sincere about it, Zahra. I've told you many times. I'm explaining that. That's the disaster of his name. We don't want that. But it is God who has determined the path of destiny for us."

"Then why did Ghibran say that he was not sincere because I married another man. Doesn't that mean we're not fools. And the soul mate is also determined by God."

Ghibran breathed a harsh sigh while turning his eyes away. "I love you, Zahra. This feeling has not moved on to others. Even though I keep trying and praying about it."

"Sir Ghibran followed my lead. That's why you can't do that. I'm just a despicable woman, brother. It's not appropriate for a person of such high knowledge as Big Brother to fight for a woman like me."

"Love doesn't look at who you are. I just want to get you back. I just want us to fight for our love back without having to look back at the past."

Chayra smiled wryly. "Sir Ghibran said that. What about the Ghibran family? Would they also say so if I married Big Brother. I had even imagined the scorn I would get if I married Big Brother."

"That's not gonna happen, Zahra."

"Sir Ghibran don't be crazy. Brother wrongly invites married women to establish a relationship. Not because of the word love, Brother Ghibran forget who you are Brother."

Chayra got up from the swing. Turning looked at Ghibran while cupping his hands in front of his chest. "Ayra please, stop here. I don't want to see Ghibran getting hurt in the future. Let me be happy with the man of my choice. Let the taste between us be eroded by time. I love Brother Ghibran too, but I am trying to love the man God has laid out for me."

Ardian who had been standing since earlier was detained Bian not to approach. Santi who was also present at that place stroked the shoulders of his son-in-law. It was able to make Ardian survive even though his breath looks up and down holding in annoyance.

Chayra smiled at Ghibran. That word was going to make him sick and want to go berserk. However, right now those words were like a song passing by his ears. "Don't demean him, brother. He might be bad in Brother's eyes. But, if you know the rigors of the life he faced before. Big brother will be amazed to see his current struggle. He's trying to get better. Even though he's an adult, he's not shy about studying religion like a Kindergarten kid."

Ghibran gawks at Chayra's speech. Chayra's praise for Ardian in front of her really made her feel like she was insulted by the girl.

"I can't love him yet, brother. Maybe it happened because it still tucked the name of Kak Ghibran in this heart. But I could love him eventually. He treats her very special. I always try to enjoy every moment with him. The more he comes, the more comfortable he'll be. That's why, I said slowly I would be able to love her.

Ardian's breathing slowed to the sound of his wife's answer. A faint smile appeared on his lips. That made Santi smile. While Bian just scratched his head confused.

"Mom, Bian's afraid to fall in love like this."

Santi was shocked to hear his son's words. "Why say that?"

Bian smiled blandly. "I'm afraid to be in Ghibran's position. What if the woman I love is suddenly married to another man. I might kill myself out of frustration."

Ardian glanced at Bian with a smile. His hands ruffled Bian's hair because Bian's speech was like tickling his stomach. "Take a position like Kak Ardian's. You won't be frustrated by love."

"But I don't want to be a man like Ardian. I don't want to be a layman in religious affairs."

Ardian laughed at Bian's words. "Hahaha, this is right, Big Brother is learning to be a good man. Don't forget to shut up later, if suddenly Brother becomes an Ustadz.

The sound of Ardian's laughter made Chayra and Ghibran turn simultaneously towards the man. They were surprised to find that Ardian was not alone there. There's Miss Santi and Bian too.

"I'm sorry, Brother. My husband may have been sitting there a long time waiting for me to finish my business with Brother Ghibran." Chayra turned back.

"Wait..!" The Ghibran tried to stop Chayra's move.

Chayra stopped her steps. "Our business is done here. Don't expect me again. Look for another woman who's more worthy of Ghibran's sister." He spoke with his back to the Ghibran.

"I can't force you to come back to me. But don't force me to stop loving you. Let me keep this feeling in silence. Enough of me to feel it. Be happy with the man of your choice. I'll wait until God takes your name out of my mind."

Chayra closed her eyes. The tears she had been holding back from earlier finally came out as well. He cannot deny, if his feelings for the man are still very deep. However, if he did not avoid it. He will forever be trapped in his feelings. Thinking of a man who is not lawful to her.

"I'm leaving, Zahra. Assalamualaikum..." The ghibran left with no intention of turning back. He got straight into his car. Leaving his belongings in the living room of Santi's house.

Chayra only glanced at a glance. Breathe deeply to strengthen his heart. Removing the rest of her tears. He didn't want Ardian to see that there were still tears left. Not if the man thinks, he is crying for another man.

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