My Bow to the Destiny of Love
I don't mean anything to him

Ardian kicked small pebbles along the road he was on. Squeezing his hair to vent the pain he was feeling. I don't know who he's going to complain about this.

Adhan Maghrib has been around since. However, the man had not had time to establish prayer because there was no mosque that he met. Back to walking, down a road that has no end. Tears keep on dripping. Somehow he felt so hurt hearing all his wife's words. Chayra's words were more painful than what her parents said when they kicked her out first.

Ardian took a deep breath as he looked at the mosque that looked very crowded. Several times he swallowed his saliva before finally walking closer. All these circumstances he feels he must leave to the Most Reversing.

Folded his sleeves when he got to ablution's place'. Having just washed his hands, Ardian was startled by the clap on his shoulders.

"I guess I saw it wrong. What do you need to pray here?" Zidane still puts his hand on Ardian's shoulder.

"Eh, Brother Zidane. K.. Brother hasn't returned to Pesantren?"

"Yet. Later that night, I'm flying. I have an appointment with my friend, to submit your application file. We'll talk again. I have not prayed this either. Maghrib's time is running out." Zidane. Though he arrived at this place because Chayra contacted him this afternoon. The girl asked Zidane for help in finding out where her husband was. As of this afternoon, Ardian could not be reached.

Ardian just nodded small. Wash his hands to get water.

After establishing the prayer, Zidane invited Ardian to sit on a long bench in front of the mosque.

"What's the matter with Ayra? Before Maghrib, he called me."

Ardian smiled blandly. He nodded while taking a deep breath. "I don't know either, Brother." Rubbing his face rough.

"Who starts first. Ayra, right?" Zidane glanced at Ardian. His hands were busy typing something on his phone.

Ardian. Only his lips were smiling faintly.

"Chayra Azzahra was a very gentle person. However, he also still harbored a selfish nature. Sometimes it is difficult to understand the feelings of others. Other times, he sometimes turns out to be the most understanding person. He often ignores himself out of pity for others. Ayra is also a very stubborn person, Ardian. I was confused how to deal with it first. I've failed to do ta'aruf three times because of him."

"Why did he do that?" Ardian looked at Zidane in wonder.

"She was afraid that my attention would diminish to her if I got married. There is no father who guards and protects him. That's why I've always paid more attention to him since the old days." Zidane smiled wryly. "People even thought that I liked her as a woman so much the attention I gave her."

Ardian looked back at Zidane in surprise.

"But believe me, if I always keep limits as much as I love him. Ayra and I were halal in marriage even though we were like siblings."

"I know that." Answer Ardian

What made you leave the house?"

Ardian breathed a heavy sigh. "I'm afraid to snap at him, I'm afraid I'll hurt him even more if I stay home" took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I can't control myself. I just want to calm down, brother. I'm trying to forget the words he put out."

"What did he say?"

"Sir Zidane can ask him that. My chest feels tight if I have to bring up the matter again."

"We're going home now. This problem must be solved so as not to get bigger."

"I'm ashamed to meet Chay, brother. Just let me spend the night at this mosque for tonight."

"Don't be like that, Ardian. You should go home. You sleep in another room if you're not ready to meet Ayra."

Ardian. "I'm confused, Brother. I know my mistakes in the past have been huge. But, I've been trying to change, brother. Is it wrong to fall in love with someone I once hated? The depravity I had done in the past even always came to me in dreams. The sins of the past were like alarms that always sounded when I would establish prayer."

"God is the One who turns back and forth the feelings of his servant Ardian. Allah guides you, that is what you should be grateful for."

"Chay's words were like a slap to me. How I was only present as a prankster in his life. I just realized I didn't mean anything to her."

"Then, consider the quarrel as a marriage ordeal. Maybe it was the baby too. That's what makes Ayra so sensitive." Zidane breathed a rough breath. "We're going home now. We will pray Isha at home." Zidane got up while pulling Ardian's hand.

"I still want to be here first, brother." Ardian held back the hand that Zidane had drawn.

"You have to go home so I can trust Ayra to you. I want to think about myself now. If there is already a tough man who can be a place to lean, then I can find a woman who wants to be my escort. Abah and Ummi will also come tomorrow. You can imagine how they would have reacted had they not met you at home."

"Trust me, if all will be well. You'll come home with me if you really love Ayra and your future baby."

Lama Ardian thought before finally getting up and following Zidane's steps.

*********

Chayra turns the growth upside down. His eyes cannot be closed. Sleeping alone without Ardian's figure made him really uncomfortable. She still regretted what made her husband leave.

Chayra got up while preaching several times. Her feelings would not be able to calm down before she apologized to the man.

Repeatedly trying to call Ardian's phone number. However, it was still the voice of the operator who answered his call.

Finally he decided to take the water. Erecting the prayer of some rakaat, pray for forgiveness from God for his carelessness that could not keep his tongue.

After the prayer, Chayra returned to her bed. Grabbing his phone, trying to get in touch with Zidane.

"Assalamualaikum, Brother."

"Wa'alaikumsalam. Why haven't you slept, Dek? You are pregnant. That's not good for your health. Are you worried about your husband?" Zidane placed his index finger as a signal to keep Ardian quiet. Ardian went home with Zidane. However, he chose to rest in Zidane's room. Still feel not ready if you have to meet his wife with mixed feelings.

"I. yes, Brother. I'm worried about Ardian. Where he slept tonight. I shouldn't have said that this afternoon. I was too selfish, not thinking about her feelings."

"It's good that you've realized your mistake. At least you didn't justify the act that hurt your husband."

Chayra wiped her tears. "What..did Brother Zidane not meet with Brother Ardian?"

"I met, but he said, why would he come home if he didn't mean anything to you."

Chayra. "I'm really sorry about what I said, sister. I. I'm pregnant with her son too."

"You are pregnant with her child. But, your speech is like a thorn piercing his pride. Next time, watch what you say. Because it could be, your own words will bring you down."

Chayra was confused as to what to answer. On the bus only gulped his saliva hearing all Zidane said.

"Sleep, your husband will see you when he feels better."

"I. I'm closed, brother. Assalamualaikum.."

"Wa'alaikumsalam.."

The Chayra phone fell by itself. Her tears fell without asking.

Meanwhile in the next room. Ardian, who was away when he heard his wife's voice behind the phone, came back closer after the call ended.

"Why did he call Zidane's brother at this hour? Usually he's asleep in my arms at this hour."

Zidane smiled. "She misses you, but she's proud to say it. He could not sleep because no faithful man always stroked his hair. Hugged him with affection. Tonight, he just felt, how much influence an Ardian has in his rest."

"I want to see him, Brother."

Zidane was surprised to hear Ardian's request. "As far as you. Go if you really want to see it."

"Thank you, Brother." Ardian rushed out from inside the room. Slowly, he approached his wife's room. The door to the room was slightly open. Turns out Chayra hasn't locked the door. Either intentionally or the girl forgot.

Ardian stood at the door. Want to feel directly in and hold the body of the sobbing woman into his arms. However, Chayra's speech was back.

Ardian took a few steps back. "I. I don't mean anything to him" he said. Closing his eyes, clenching his hands to endure the turmoil of his feelings. "I'm sorry, Chay.." Ardian is weak.

******