Before we split up
Chapter - 23
Ayunda knew the mind of the Ocean, for they were thinking the same thing. Both are in a loss that has ruined their lives.
The ocean wanted to run and get away from the pain she had been so painfully healing for three years.
Aviran darted around the small table, drifting quickly to her Mommy knee, and then, while raving about the next painting and how many days to go to the workshop that will be in his school degree and what they will eat tonight.
Ayunda laughed at the adorable rant that came out of Aviran's mouth, the sadness in his eyes miraculously replaced with excitement, then he reached out to rub the child's head. “Next week. You're going to be here again, right?” ask Ayunda.
“Of course aunt Ayunda” replied Aviran excitedly, then nodded loudly until her body staggered backwards.
Laras grabbed his son's hand while laughing softly, then guided Aviran out of the studio behind him. "We go home first Ayunda, thank you"
"Bye Aviran," Ayunda waved her hand towards the little boy.
Samudra rubbed his nape, then crossed his arms in front of his chest, while observing Ayunda. Ayunda was quickly seen as ordinary, but Samudra had seen the grief that was to be the end of their marriage, the end of Ayunda's existence for Samudra. “You want to talk about it?” ask Samudra to Ayunda.
Ayunda shook his head, then busied himself with a pile of crayons scattered.
The ocean walked over, then pulled Ayunda into his arms, the Ocean unconcerned with the person walking through the studio. Ayunda does not resist or withdraw, instead leaning in the arms of the Ocean, letting the Ocean embrace and provide comfort.
“You see Aviran as if, it is our son?” Ayunda gulped, then pulled her head with trembling breaths from the chest of the Ocean.
“Yes,” Samudra whispers in Ayunda's hair, caressing her back with her hands to soothe and keep her in arms. The ocean embraces her very tightly, she understands the emotions she spills over to her from the heart of Ayunda.
Ayunda retreated while rubbing the chest of the Ocean. “There was nothing we could do, at that time the doctor explained that the cyst I had had ruptured before they found out that it was growing there, so that made me miscarry” Ayunda felt her heart start to slow down, resonating in every cell in her body
The ocean closed its eyes and shook its head. “Yes, but when your heart was hurt by losing Galen, and I didn't know what you needed, I gave up. I let you go, just like that.”
“I am a man who has failed my wife, at a time when my wife desperately needs my existence. I worked until I forgot the time, so that I wouldn't have to go home and witness the grief of losing my son. Even I am willing to accept a date offer with another actress to increase my popularity, in the time when you need me until you leave my life.” Suddenly the Ocean turned around, approached the workbench, resting both hands on the table wide and letting his head bow in lethargy. “What kind of a husband is that?”
Ayunda breathed tears that she could not bear, there was nothing more she could say. Samudra is a husband who marries Ayunda for the sake of a child who has to leave without ever having a chance to live.
Yeah, they love each other. In na*su, in all respects when lovers who are twenty years old and twenty-three years old are attracted to each other. But Samudra marries Ayunda after learning that Ayunda is pregnant with her child, if not for that, their love story might die in a year or two. Now they have chosen their own path, lived their own lives, and waded through it without the burdens of the past that they did not want to face.
Samudra has been gentlemanly, he is responsible for his actions without hesitation and without being asked. But after they lost Galen, he did change a bit. Samudra took refuge behind her work, and accepted the offer of a date to increase her popularity.
"I'm angry at you, Samudra. Angry at all the injustice. Angry at my parents who had left me when I needed them most.”
“Your parents are just disappointed in what we've done, we shouldn't have done that outside of marriage. Here I am the one who is clearly at fault.” The ocean uttered each word decisively.
"Yes, you're evil. Even then you don't feel hurt over Galen's departure, you can move on with your life. Your job, you still have other things, while I feel like I have nothing left. All I know is that you married me because I was pregnant, and I lost our baby. Dan—”
“And what? you think I'm like your parents who'll leave you? so that's why you left me? You think I dated another woman because I love her, No Ayunda!! I love you.” The ocean gripped tightly onto Ayunda's shoulder as she looked into her eyes. The ocean pours an arm over Ayunda's back, pulling her in a hug while whispering "I'm sorry, baby"
