Me, Dusk, And Falsity
Chapter 47
Must Change
Seeing if what Fisya said was a little strange Reni immediately cut Fisya said
“ Loe Serious Deni ever said like to loe Sya? ” asked Reni with a pretty deadly look
“ I'm serious Ren he once said that to me, if you do not believe you can ask the same Fika and Dila they also know the story ” Fisya replied with a little fear because Reni's eyes are still very serious looking at him
Fisya tried to make Reni believe with all her words. And Fisya also turns his eyes to Dila and Fika hoping that they can help explain what really happened
“ What is Dil, Fik? ” now Reni's eyes turn to Fika and Dila demands clarity from them
“ Yes kak bener what is said brother Fisya, Deni even tried repeatedly to call brother Fisya kak Ren ” replied Fika trying to help Fisya
“ Gilak tu son yes my friend also want to be embat. Yes-yes I believe the same all the stories lo Ren, besides I already know all the behavior he is out there just looking for the right moment.
Why the heck loe new story now to me Ren if from the first story gini to me, I have broken him from the first ” nagging Reni with his regret
“ Very sorry Ren I just dare to tell you now because I am afraid you are angry with me and do not even want to be my equal again. I didn't you misunderstand Ren? ” Fisya tries to explain back
“ Astagfirullah Sya not that I am not, I choose my friendship rather than men. Because men are still many can be found Sya but, if friends are very difficult to find ” explained Reni and they both embrace
Finally that night there was no misunderstanding and there was nothing Fisya needed to hide from Reni anymore. Now Fisya's feelings are very calm because one problem he can solve.
It turns out that honesty is better even though honesty sometimes brings bitterness and pain.
Fisya was not completely at ease as there was still one more problem he had to solve. And even this is Fisya's biggest problem.
Yeah who else if it wasn't her feelings for Hafiz
This falsehood must end immediately. Yes all this is a falsehood that comes from Fisya himself not from others because this is purely Fisya's fault. Now Fisya only realized how very much God's reprimand before but, Fisya was complacent until just realized now
That night Fisya sat in the corner of the room thinking about how he started to forget about Hafiz and took it out slowly in his heart.
In the daydream, Fisya unconsciously even remembered a song whose lyrics are very-very suitable for Fisya, a song owned by Chakra Khan with the title “ Finding True Love”.
For a moment I'm nurturing the feeling
I cannot ignore my heart
I have to be honest with my heart
You and I can't be together
Like a rhythmic song
Goodbye to you
My smile lets you go
You are not a mistake
I never regretted knowing you
But let me fly far away
Looking for true love
Fisya is guilty of this. Fisya too soon to open his heart back to men who apparently only intend to stop and not to settle down. Hafiz only wanted to visit but, unfortunately, Fisya even considered Hafiz to invite together
And honestly, now is not the right time for Fisya to know such a big thing as love. Because Fisya still has a burden that should be more docus he did that is his lecture and not only that, Fisya is also still too small to think about things as big and complex as that
Right now what Fisya has to do is to pursue the true love that is Allah SWT. Love for creatures brings only hope and disappointment.
While love for God brings peace, happiness, and will bring true love of beings
“ Love first his creator new creature ”
That night Fisya also tried to make peace with himself by praying at night and did not forget to say do’a-do’a and ask for forgiveness. In his prostration Fisya asked for forgiveness from the Lord of the Worlds
Do not forget Fisya has given everything to God for his life and his devotion.
“ O you who are turning back and forth, set my heart to you, O Lord. Accept my repentance Yes Rabb does not deserve this self hope to a creature that clearly he also expects everything to you allow me to fix everything Yes Rabbal A’ ”
