THE SAD JOURNEY OF LOVE
THE BEAUTIFUL SMILE OF THE ANGEL

"Mother, fasting is mandatory? Said the teacher Ila, fasting is mandatory for all Muslims," asked Nabila after school. "Ila also wants to follow the fast ah, supa +

yes, get a reward and go to heaven" he continued.

"Ila wants to go to heaven, Nda. Ila wants to meet God," she still continues the enthusiastic sentence of her tiny lips. "If Ila goes to heaven, Ila can meet dad, huh, Nda? But who will take care of Mother?"

I just smiled at his chatter, as usual he would continue to chatter cheerfully without stopping. "Yes dear, so Ila must also learn to fast from now on yes, so that God will love me more and more" I said happily hearing the spirit of my little daughter.

When driving him to sleep, he again reminded him to wake him up later. He whispered in my ear as I kissed his forehead on the bed, "Yet, if tomorrow Ila fasts full, do'ain Ila quickly meet ama Allah yes," he asked plainly.

The deg! There was another feeling ambushing me. Ah, I'll immediately brush off that weird taste. I should be grateful he is not like his peers who are difficult to learn to fast. I assented and just nodded silently, a thousand thanks to Him for granting me such a wonderful little princess.

In the last third of my night, I shed tears of gratitude for His gift of giving me Nabila in an episode of my life. Kuhiba is a mountain of love so that He will always guard it in every breath He gives. There is nothing else I want but to make my daughter a lady of your angel in the world.

Nabila looks so eager to eat his sahur. He picked up a vegetable he refused to touch without asking for it. It was really the first sahur that was so memorable to me, just like the first sahur a few years ago when I felt the first fast with my new status as a wife of the chosen man.

This morning, before driving Nabila to school, I had to stop by the cake shop to buy some of the ingredients I needed. I took Nabila down and I took him into the shop. I was busy choosing some ingredients until I realized that Nabila was no longer beside me.

Suddenly I heard some women screaming and people running outside the store. I realized Nabila was nowhere near me. I panicked and ran outside because I couldn't find it in the store.

I ran towards the crowd and for a moment I felt the earth stop turning. The earth on which I stood seemed to attract all my abilities to move. In front of me, Nabila was lying in her white uniform covered in blood.

Immediately I held him tight and held him alight. I was helped by some people around the area and soon my baby was taken to the hospital. In the car I heard people saying that my daughter was a hit-and-run victim.

I really don't care how it really happened or who did it, for me right now the most important thing is to save my little daughter's life. Along the way, I unceasingly stood up and talked to my daughter and asked her to stay.

Nabila let out a small sigh that I tried to catch, "Nda, sick. Chief Ila, Nda." It was obvious that he was enduring unbearable pain.

As much as I can, I try to keep the crying that has been squeezed in the chest. I can't be seen crying because it's gonna make her sicker and freaking out. I had to look calm for her spirit to emerge to fight against her pain.

"He's patient, baby, we're almost at the hospital. Mommy knows the mother's child is strong, Ila must endure dear, God must help Ila to heal," ah, the patter is very difficult to stem when seeing the look on the face of my little angel who is pale to endure pain. Blood kept flowing from his temple.

A smile on her tiny lips. The most beautiful smile he ever had. Ah, it's getting tighter as if he doesn't want me to let go again.

I was dragged into the events of 2 years ago when I was in the same position, holding someone who had made me empress in the garden her heart died after a car hit her right in front of the gate after driving me to the school where I taught. Still etched in memory, the last smile she gave that afternoon. O Rabb, strengthen the servant.

Arriving at the hospital, Ila was immediately rushed to the emergency room. The doctor asked me to wait in front of the operating room because it turned out Ila had to be operated on immediately due to heavy bleeding in his head and back.

I felt second by second creeping so slowly in that waiting room. After nearly 2 hours spent with anxiety that was difficult to describe in front of that operating room, finally I dragged my steps towards the mushala at the end of the corridor to complain about all the distress I felt on His prayer mat.

As sincere as I asked and I asked the giver to breathe so that He would heal my little daughter. But in spite of all that, I only ask the best of Him for the light of my eyes, for I am sure that whatever He decides, it is best for him, for me, and for all.

I just asked Him to give me strength through all this. The more tranquility I felt when the verses of His love were written down. There was a sudden sense of peace present infiltrating the heart.

Back in the waiting room I met a middle-aged woman who I felt was also facing the same grief. Ah, this room, this building, as if tears, anxiety, and anxiety were being wiped out in every corner of the hospital.

After nearly 4 hours of waiting with indescribable anxiety, the doctor went outside and looked at me with a sad look. I memorized that gaze once, the same gaze when the man who had made me a mother was brought into the operating room, a similar gaze when the woman who interceded in my presence to the world had to fight death on the operating table.

O God, I ask for strength from YOU. "Well, if tomorrow Ila fasts full, do'ain Ila quickly meet with Allah yes," he heard again his door last night.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un ...

I saw Nabila's face as pale as cotton, but on his face that sweet smile was not lost, no longer I saw a pain there, all that was left was a smile that accompanied him to the owner of life.

The smile that his father also gave him as he left this mortal world. The tears could no longer be contained when I stared fixed the face of my little angel, as if I wanted to sculpt every detail of his face on the wall of the heart so that the sketch would never fade forever.

Goodbye, dear. You leave at a glorious moment, when you begin to feel the meaning of life at your young age, when you begin to learn to love Him, in your first Ramadan. You get the happiness of the fasting person, the happiness of encountering him.

Mother loves you, son. Very, but it turns out His love for you has been stalking when your mother's love is still struggling. Mother realized His love will be more able to make you happy. He loves you more, baby.

Until He doesn't want you drugged by the love of the world, that's why He wants you to be with Him. Mother promises, mother will try her hardest to be able to hug you again. Pray for mom, son. Dear Mother Ila, son.