THE SAD JOURNEY OF LOVE
GOODBYE MY WIFE
Suddenly my HP rang, after answering the greeting voice across the phone looked panicked "Dad. mother nosebleed nich." Hmm. I knew my wife's panic at the time because she had never had a nosebleed like this.
The weather in August 2007 was very hot. I think it's because of the blistering weather. Then I suggest he go to the doctor immediately.
A few days later my wife got sick. As usual if he is sick he only takes stall medicine and rarely wants to see a doctor. "oalah mother, I pushed his cheek with his fingertips, he sulked his lips forward 2 centi, funny to see it like that.
Two weeks later, but the cold has not disappeared. In fact, he said that there was a blockage in his nasal passages, it felt uncomfortable and difficult to breathe. "Bun.. Tomorrow we go to the Hospital! let me let you in by noon," I told him to go to the hospital.
The next day I took him to the hospital. Bhakti Yudha Depok. At that time the ENT doctor said my wife was allergic to dust and animal hair. But until the cure runs out the cold there are no signs of recovery.
Strangely, the mucus that often comes out is only the left nose. Even when my wife started to have trouble breathing through her nose, she could only breathe through her mouth. And when I took her in for a second time the doctor suggested an X-ray. But from the X-ray results did not see any abnormalities in my wife's nose.
***
Date 3 Nov 2007 ...
I asked him to check with Jakarta Proclamation Hospital, because according to the information here the tool is more complete. Turns out to be true, with a vacuum cleaner the doctor pulled out the mucus from inside my wife's nose. It was nice to see him breathing with relief. "Thank God....."
A few days later the blockage reappeared. "Daddy.mommy!" Second control to RS. Proclamation is still doctors have not been able to convey what disease my wife is experiencing.
The doctor put a wet cotton swab in my wife's nose (apparently it was a local anesthetic), moments later a small scissors was inserted into her nose and a small "crack" piece of meat was taken. Lately I know this action is called a biopsy. Nothing was told to us. The doctor suggested a CT scan. Then we headed to RSCM for the CT Scan.
The next day the results of the CT Scan I brought back to the Doctor of Proclamation Hospital. After seeing the results of the scan, the doctor also conveyed the results and also the biopsy results from the laboratory.
"it's a positive mother" the doctor said, showing a CT scan. There was a mass between the back of my wife's nose and throat. It's pretty big the size of a fist. I still did not understand the meaning of his words and indeed there was no strange thought I tried to ask, "what do you mean doc?"
"mom is cancer positive!"
Deck.it's like my heartbeat stopped "CANCER...Doc?" Suddenly my eyes became dark, a heavy burden seemed to be crushing my body. I was silent and could not say anything, for a long time I was silent.
"Cancer..?" I asked, but the sentence was not able to be spoken just lodged in my head. A disease that I have only known through information and news, now the disease was approaching the closest people I loved the most. That terrible disease attacked my wife.
I looked at my wife's beautiful face wrapped in her favorite hijab, calm.
"duhh..mother what's on your mind mother..."
"Now you go to the RSCM to the Radiology department we have to act quickly," I suddenly realized. I'll get the doctor's cover letter and head to RSCM.
...THE STORY GOES BELOW...
It was never thought before, now we are in a row of people with cancer in the waiting room of this Radiology specialist. The scent of anxiety even despair was reflected on their faces. I feel this, but I have to hide this look in front of my wife. I must continue to provide her with energizing energy.
In front of the Radiology doctor I asked, "actually my wife has cancer what doc?"
"nasopharyngeal cancer." replied the doctor briefly.
O Allah...What cancer is this again? The term is strange to me. Why does my wife have to experience it?
"But God willing can still be cured with radiation and chemotherapy treatments" the doctor tried to catch the turmoil on my face.
"Later you have to undergo radiation treatment for 25 times."
Coming out of the radiology room as if everything had gone dark, it felt like I couldn't bear all this weight. Soon I texted my family and close friends, I informed them of my wife's condition and I asked them to do 'a. I didn't feel like tears were popping up in the corner of my eye.
"Dad why? cry yach..?" innocently the question came out of my wife's lips.
"yes, my father who is the same mother," my voice trembled.
I gently rubbed my wife's head. I slowly clap his hands trying to wipe my tears, I hold his weak fingers. My heart whispers "why is there no sadness on your face? do you know this disease is so dangerous? Or has God told you all this?"
"Mother's used to do koq.." The answer made me unable to breathe, my tears finally fell as well.
I poured the halls of the RSCM with helpless steps as if I were floating, the bones felt unable to support my small body.
Date 5 December 2007 ...
From that day on, my wife will have to be hospitalized in the hospital. Proclamations. All preparations are made starting from USG, Bond Scan etc. The result is still clean uterus and normal bones means the cancer has not spread to other parts, Alhamdulillah.
Date 8 December 2007 ...
Day four. That afternoon I was called to Doctor Sugiono's room to do Chemotherapy. It is said that my wife's cancer stage 2A and God willing can still be treated. I am also ready to undergo treatment with chemotherapy. Then we asked permission to the doctor to be allowed to go home while preparing everything.
At night when we were at home, we asked the opinion of the family about the treatment we would do. With various considerations and reasons the family suggested that we do not take the path of chemo and radiation. We are advised to undergo treatment by alternative means and herbal remedies.
Finally since then we do the effort of medicine in an alternative way and take herbal medicines. Because at that time my wife was difficult to swallow, the herbal medicine given was not in the form of capsules, but in the form of decoction. Every day my wife had to drink potions and decoctions of herbal medicines that smelled very stinging. But I saw him painstakingly and patiently taking all those drugs.
His passion to heal is so great. I pray non-stop day and night. And the nights I always spent with tahajud and hajat.
I began diligently looking for all information related to nasopharyngeal cancer, ranging from food, treatment methods, and even alternative medicine clinic addresses. All the information I searched through the internet, newspapers and from colleagues.
...THE STORY GOES BELOW...
Three months of treatment, but God does not seem to have given way to healing in this way, finally herbal medicine I leave. Even alternative medicine has been left since the first 1 month because I doubt it. Some families of wives began to despair. Some even think this disease is a delivery from people. But I deny everything, there was a disagreement between us. I assure my wife that this is a test from God,
"Bun.all by the will of God, even long before we were born it was written this destiny, the age of the sick mother, to repent here and there it is all already in the record of Allah bun. The important thing now is not to get tired of berihtiar and the mother still must be eager to heal." He nodded slowly.
My wife's weight began to drop dramatically because there was no food intake, before her illness weighing 53 kg now lives 36 Kg. His condition got worse and his peak when I saw his left eye was not focused. The way he looks like a squint. According to the herbal doctor who handled my wife this is a series of cancer trips that over time will attack the brain. Doctors recommend that you be taken to the hospital immediately.
Date 26 March 2008 ...
I finally took him back to the hospital. This time I took him to the hospital. Husni Thamrin's. My wife is handled by a team consisting of ENT Doctor, Internist Doctor and Chemotherapy Specialist Doctor, Coincidentally Doctor Sugiono chemotherapist who used to treat my wife at the Hospital. Proclamation is also a practice here. And now Doctor Sugiyono is back in charge of my wife.
That afternoon the doctor called me to his room. The doctor explained that my wife's cancer stage had become 4C, and her cancer had begun to eat away at the skull's brain support. Seeing the results of the CT Scan I goosebumps, clearly visible skull bones are porous like the leaves eaten by caterpillars. I wanted to scream, "Oh Allah"
"I'm sorry dad, I can't take care of you...!"
Even more surprising when doctors say, "we can only slow the growth of the cancer instead of treat." It was as if the countdown of death had begun. I was unsteady and almost unconscious, all my might trying to stay strong. With my brother out of the doctor's office.
Immediately I headed to Mushola I took ablution water and I prayed. I don't know what I pray about.
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