THE SAD JOURNEY OF LOVE
THE SINCERITY OF A MOTHER

Ten years ago, at the beginning of Ramadan. As everyone prepares to welcome the arrival of the blessed moon. I am also preparing to welcome the long-awaited arrival of 'blessing 

whole family. Four years had passed before the blessing approached us. Even falling awake, trying everything just so that a child's cheerful smile could decorate our quiet household.

And I still vividly remember those long nights after the doctor announced the surgery schedule. The schedule was exactly two days before Ramadan arrived. We were no longer able to back down because my pregnancy was two weeks from the date of birth.

That Ramadan, I became a mother, but only understood what sincerity meant years later. Sincerity of a Mother.

That day, when everyone was getting ready to welcome the month of fasting. My mother and husband are busy administering the operation. I was so nervous because I had the first surgery. Mama faithfully, never in the least, completely abandoned me who was spoiled. A little bit of Mama moved, I immediately whined in fear. I'm afraid, this is my last time to see her.

I was busy thinking about myself. What will happen to me? I don't think about Ramadan at all. Ah boro-boro thinks of Ramadan, thinks of her husband and Mama who have been fasting since long before Ramadan was not. They fast and break their fast, sometimes even just a glass of tea that just touches their throats. My husband had been fasting on Monday for a year before I became pregnant, and it became more effective as I was about to give birth. I don't know when my husband and mother fasted for my safety.

I was completely aware of the influence of drugs, one day before Ramadan. The pain plus spoiled makes Mama can not move anywhere. Because my husband and I had children for the first time, confusion hit us. I was panicked and afraid when I first breastfed, my husband confused looking for the needs of the baby with various objects that he first saw. Mama was the only one who was being rational at the time, staying calm and teaching us both patiently. To the extent that we forgot the preparation of the first night of Ramadan.

Before going to bed, I was starving (perhaps the effect of fasting before surgery and breastfeeding). There was no food there except for a loaf of bread. Mama gave me the bread and I devoured it, without telling her it was the only food left for her at the time of dawn. He even asked me to spend it, and I was grateful that I refused when the bread was half-living. After eating, I fell into a deep sleep even when Mama sahur was alone with that piece of bread. There are no shops or restaurants open at 3am in the hospital, even hot water for brewing tea is not available. Mama, with her patience, chose to keep fasting even though from the afternoon she had not devoured anything but half a slice of bread.

The next morning, the beginning of Ramadan. Again, Mama showed me sincerity that I will never forget. Without caring that she was fasting, Mama served all my needs that were not fasting. My mother provided me with food and drink on time. My mother also helped me take care of my baby, even though my husband came to take care of me. My mom still wouldn't leave me. I was very young at the time and it wasn't meant to play. Patiently, Mama continued to accompany and take care of me. I never heard my mother complain. During half Ramadan, Mama was still with me. Taking me to the hospital, waking up in the middle of the night taking care of my exhausted baby even when I had to go home because I felt I could take care of the child, Mama was so heavy leaving us.

Every Ramadan, I remember my Mom's experience. Mama who keeps me, Mama who stays fast and Mama who keeps her difficulties without complaining. I finally understood, when what we do is good and unappreciated, God is teaching us the meaning of sincerity. And I saw that sincerity in Mama. Lessons I want to teach my kids.

If the husband teaches the children about the sincerity of the Prophets, then I give the example of the sincerity of Mama on the children. People who are also very close to their grandchildren. The children may not know, without realizing the experience of Mama and a piece of bread also made me learn a lot. Mama's sincerity as a mother, can not be measured depth. Mama's sincerity as a Muslimah, can not be measured how much because Mama did it together without caring for her own pain.

I just understood how different it would be without Mama when giving birth to a second child. The second day, a month ahead of plan. That's when I felt alone, even though my husband never left me. The only thing that became my strength at that time was the sincerity that Mama had shown me. The sincerity to fight even though no one - not even the child I was born with - knew how much I had to do. My thoughts and energy are all just to fight for the birth of a second child to be born safely.

And when I tell you about this one more time. Mama must have laughed. "That's the nature of a woman, son. So Mother, must sincerely take care of her daughter's son, as a people she must also sincerely worship her Lord and as a wife she must sincerely take care of her husband."

I want to answer. Not all women are like that, not all. If Mama had not taught me, I would never have learned to be a sincere Mother, sincerely a servant of God and sincerely a wife.

Ramadan is the month in which we learn the meaning of sincerity. Father who still works despite fasting because sincerely looking for sustenance for his family, Mother who continues to cook even though dishes with fragrant tempting because sincerely serve the best cuisine for the family, and children who fast for learning sincerity see both parents and adults around them.....

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