The Door of Destiny Removing Single
Episode 22
A NEW STEP
A brilliant idea suddenly shot into my head. I'm gonna find a lot of ways to forget about Zaky. Yes, I must as soon as possible force my heart to make Zaky the other person in my heart. I remembered the joke of one of the staff in the production division at the time of day, who said that
A little bit of remembering a little forgetting
A little forgot the little wound
A little wound soon happy
I'll try this way. A little remembrance of Zaky means throwing away any memories that will bring upon our memories. I started by deleting the photos of our togetherness. Am I up to it?
Must. If you don't want to fall too deep, of course. In addition to the photos, it seems like the items I have to treat are the same.
Next I will start to position myself to forget a little. This one is still a little difficult for me. Difficult does not mean you can't. I must keep trying, by not forcing myself to forget much, which means I also do not need to get hurt. Then I will enjoy the process of remembering and then forgetting slowly. A simple logic, if together 3 years, then at least also take at least three years to forget.
Next I will slowly heal my wounds and find happiness. Demikan I tried to set the scheme in my heart and mind. Rise up and rearrange the scattered because of my separation.
I started by deleting the photos of our togetherness. Immediately I emptied the memory of my phone, then continued to the laptop memory and also every digital trace that existed. It was still heavy, even heavy. But I have to. My sense instinct is still functioning well at the moment. An advantage to those who are given heartache, but the logic in him still works.
Long enough I erased the memory of photos and videos of our togetherness. Even if I do it quickly, it still takes a long time. Three years, of course. I hope there's nothing left, because my fingers are getting tired. It took about 2 hours, and it was finally finished. First mission, done!
Next I just need to make peace with my past. Accept the fact that Zaky and I will never be together. Even if it is forced, it may be possible, but it is a complicated relationship. So this time I will train myself to accept the situation. The fact is I've split up with Zaky. The farewell I want, with common sense, but not with a healthy heart.
Then slowly but surely I will give myself the right to be happy. It may not be time to open your heart yet, but it is time to close the old sheet and move on to a new one. Because it seems like it should be a destiny lived
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Ever since I got close to Lala, more things I did with her. Of course with Hafiz too. As if understanding the state of my heart that is still trying to heal from the wounds, even though I never told a story, Hafiz seemed to be a guardian angel who treated my wounds. Bringing Lala beside me, was one example.
I learned a lot from Lala, especially about religious life. In addition, Lala also teaches many things about taking care of the kitchen. I don't really master it either. All this time I felt more practical buying. At home, my mother always won the kitchen. Therefore, the intensity of meeting with Hafiz and also the family is getting more intense.
Today I decided to tell my parents as well as my brothers about the plan to Jogja. Last night I passed the selection by email. After work, I plan to go home soon. I thought it would be a good idea to spend some time before leaving for Jogja. For the next six months I'll be on an official trip. Perfect. For someone who wants to heal wounds.
Some say, distance and time will be a powerful treatment for every wound. Did ya? What if the wound goes deeper? I don't know. This time my decision was unanimous.
I saw the clock showing at 16:15, it was time for me to go home. Immediately I packed my things and stepped towards the parking lot. Apparently there was Deby, apparently he was deliberately waiting for me.
“Hurry mbak?”, asked Deby
I nodded
“In addition to the two of us, the promotion division is no longer yes who escaped?”, I asked Deby.
“It looks like we're the only ones. You see, I had lunch in the pantry, not by any other name besides kita”, replied Deby
When I put on my helmet, Hafiz came from behind. I don't know since when he was there, I didn't notice. Deby glanced at me, then immediately took off the bike, leaving us both. I know it was intentional.
“Don't joke. I was in a hurry, Nih”, I asked. But Hafiz did not budge.
“Get into my car, there's a lot we have to talk about”, Hafiz gave the order regardless of my strange gaze. I have no choice but to obey.
After being in his car, Hafiz immediately drove forward, but stopped at the security guard post. He handed the keys to my motorcycle to the security guard and gave me instructions, which I certainly don't know what they are. I fell silent and chose not to provoke anger. Because from earlier I saw the shady face that Hafiz had turned to a crimson red.
Fifteen minutes the car drove, but the situation in the car was still quiet. I'm really uncomfortable with this. Hafiz just kept quiet, while I also did not dare to open the conversation. I haven't done anything wrong all day, I guess. But why is he acting like this.
Nearly 30 minutes later, Hafiz pulled over his car at a hangout. This is the first time I have visited this place. More like a cafe, but the place is rather private and exclusive. It was seen from some of its visitors, the number of which is relatively limited. Comfortable place, the atmosphere is warm and calm. But I don't know what purpose Hafiz took me here.
This time I was also more confused, as soon as Hafiz came directly to order food without offering me first. In addition, he also ordered that the menu be brought in 1 hour. Then why should I wait that long?
“This is what does he mean?”, I can't stand to open the conversation. Hafiz suddenly changed his sitting position, this time sitting beside me and leaning towards me, and then grabbing both hands. I was nervous, but unable to resist. It was only this time that I saw a change in Hafiz's attitude.
“Although there is currently no place I have in your heart, at least please appreciate my existence. I'm not asking you to give more, just give me a chance to be next to you. Looking after you, “ Hafiz said without taking my eyes off me.
I panicked immediately. Is Hafiz going to confess his love to me this time?
Or maybe he wants to propose to me??
The cold heat of my body and I dare not look him in the eye. I'm down. Hafiz, who I have known to be very religious and rarely speaks, is now acting very boldly by grasping my hands tightly and looking at me fixedly.
“About the promotion to Jogja, why don't you tell me? Am I really someone else for you?, “hafiz returns asking for clarity
I was silent, aware of my mistake. Oh, maybe this is not a mistake, because I also feel I have no obligation to ask Hafiz's permission. It's just…….He's also nobody I should ask permission for anything. Have a? He's a nobody? Actually I deliberately not to tell the plan to Jogja, just because I really want to focus more and also not ready if there should be a replacement Zaky in my heart.
For me it was a smart escape. By venting the pain through hard work, I think it will be a good result. But right now, Hafiz is demanding me to pay attention to him.
“Emm. You have done a lot for me. I only went to Jogja for 6 months. No need to panic so”, I tried to neutralize the atmosphere and pull Hafiz's hand. But unexpectedly, Hafiz actually tightened his grip.
“FREE SIX MONTHS” YOU SAID??!!!
There will be many things that may happen within six months, Dea, what is a difficult thing for you to allow me to be next to you? I don't need your confession. Because for me the most important thing is to be by your side, to be the part that protects you, every time. That's it”, Hafiz let go of his hand grip and looked at me deeper.
“I will definitely contact you more often Kok”, I replied to calm Hafiz.
“I am not a little boy De, who can be soothed by promise. This time, you can't refuse. I, every weekend will go to Jogja to visit you. This is the order of superiors as well as the request of someone who always wants to try to enter in your heart”, said Hafiz
I fell silent, pondering on Hafiz's words. So deep down this good man loves me. I don't know, should be grateful or just feel stupid about this situation. On the other hand I desperately needed this kind of affection, but on the other hand the door of my heart seemed not to allow me to open for Hafiz to fill.
Finally tonight Hafiz drove me home. We returned with a peace deal. Yes, I call it that. Hafiz really won't allow me to be lonely. For the next six months, every weekend Hafiz would visit me. Sometimes love does make one's logic frozen, so does Hafiz. 7 Hours he would travel every weekend, just to see me.
