The Door of Destiny Removing Single
Episode 18's

COMMAS

Zaky picked me up on time, after saying goodbye to my parents we left. The beach is where I go. I deliberately choose a crowd place, minimizing the occurrence of fights that endanger each other. Two hours drive, we arrived.

A message came in on my phone. Hafiz

“Lusa there is even a combination with a team from the procurement division, you want to follow or I give it to Deby?”

“I take. Please list what I need to prepare in email. I will prepare as best as possible,” I reply to Hafiz's message and save my phone.

We took a seat a bit away from the beach, because I wanted a shady spot. Honestly, I would love it if the sun burned my skin. I wear sunglasses. It'll be safe, when tears have to flood my eyelids. I really feel very ready today. In the shadow of my father and mother, they are the reasons I am currently toughened by whatever my current condition is.

Kulirik Zaky next to me, a white T-shirt suit and cargo pants look good on the body. Plus the sunglasses that protect his sharp eyes further add to the perfection of his look. This time I was again fascinated with Zaky, as if I had just met her for the first time. I let the strains of memory recording three years ago when we were just re-acquainted play out by my brain memory.

We first met when I was handling events in his office. At that time I was still a staff who took care of the preparation of events. Unintentionally while busy arranging the layout, I slipped and fell. I passed out and was taken to one of the rooms in Zaky's office. That's where we got to know. At that time, Zaky had also occupied the position he currently held at the behest of his father.

Those sweet memories are still vividly recorded in my memory. At first Zaky acted cold, but as soon as she found out I had fainted, a feeling of guilt arose in her eyes. He with his attitude of responsibility drove me home. What a sweet Zaky.

I suddenly woke up from my daydream. I don't know how long I've been lulled in our past memories. Zaky was still mute. I open the conversation.

“Today I met Mother Fatma”, I opened the conversation

“I'm sorry, you have to hear it from someone else. It has been hard for me to explain it to you”, Zaky said with a lowered head. I had trouble reading his facial expression, as his eyes were covered in sunglasses.

We both went back to being quiet for a while. It was as if both were setting their hearts for the next word. Until finally, Zaky resumed the conversation. This time I did not recognize the figure who had been beside me for three years. He spoke in a soft, slurred manner as if he was desperate.

Zaky explained at length about our relationship going forward. The consequences we have to live with as we continue together. Right now he feels just want to make me happy, even though he does not know how. It turned out that far in the corner of his heart he was also afraid to make the same story with his parents. But he still conveyed his strong desire for us to stay together.

I just listened carefully, without answering. Until finally, Zaky offered me an amazing offer.

“We remain married, Mother's blessing is more than enough for me. Your family won't mind either, will they? The bartert I did with my dad a while back, still holds true. We can get married soon,” this time Zaky took off his glasses.

I took a long nafa. I gathered courage inside of me. I refused Zaky's offer. I expect the blessing of both our parents, the father of his mother and father as well as my mother. Even if I had never been rejected about our relationship, I still felt the need to ask my parents for permission. As for Zaky's side, it was already a dead price. His father's extended family did not want us to be together. Cliche reasons, social degrees.

I finally understood why so far Zaky had never discussed marriage with me. The reason for this rejection is what he feared would hurt me. Yes, I am really offended. Even if the rejection I never heard directly, but P.Suryo's attitude all this time to me, especially Zaky's tantalizing response to me, was enough to be an answer. Maybe true, I who only come from the family of the son of a retired private employee and still work as an employee at a private company is not comparable to Zaky. His family is a voter of one of the famous property companies in our city. Ironically that's what makes their blessing not given to Zaky's parents just yet and us right now.

“Looks like we should stop here. Increasingly, this will only hurt each other,” I replied softly.

Zaky turned to look at me and held my hand.

“You gave up?”, Zaky asked expectantly

“Not give up, but stop the step because it is only until here we can achieve the goal,” I turned my eyes on the vast sea. May the waves be so strong, able to carry away the wound that was stuck in my chest.

“Enough. Now listen to me. Me and you, we're a couple of selfish people right now. He is your father after all. I don't want to build a house with only half the blessing of your parents. I've given up our relationship. You should be able to too. Since this will only hurt each other,” this time my defense is collapsing. Cloudy in my eyelids.

“My happy just with you De..,” Zaky back plead

To be honest I'd love to accept Zaky's invitation. Marrying. But the other side of me refused. I do not imagine how our relationship will be, if the blessing of his father has not yet come down. Our whole life will only be overshadowed by uncomfortable feelings. I can't stand that.

We were long silent to each other. This time the sound of waves was heard so clearly in the ear. Blowing beach breeze that usually feels cool, this time giving a different effect, feels hot and tight chest. As much as I could I held my cry. Because I don't want to back off again. This time I had to make this tough decision.

Starting at dusk, I saw Zaky still silent while occasionally taking a deep breath. It was a tough decision for both of us. I admit Zaky still really wants to maintain our relationship. While me? It's not that I want to be a coward, but I just want to be a realistic person. Pseudo-happiness, is not the happiness I am aiming for. And the future of this kind of unclear relationship, just promises pseudo happiness.

We finally decided to go home. It's dark, soon night will come. It was dark, like my current mood. No matter how strong my preparation before leaving, it collapsed as well. I enjoyed the last minutes of my time with Zaky. Although both were silent, I knew he was thinking about me too.

Zaky's running the car back, I'm according. Along the way we were silent, until Zaky finally pulled his car over to a restaurant. This place is our subscription. This is where Zaky declared his love for me. This time he brought me back here. This is really something I didn't expect. Maybe he wants to change your mind. I must endure, You can Dea !!!!!

Dinner special, Zaky ordered our favorite meal. Without asking much I spent my meal. After that I went to the toilet, just to fix my makeup. At the same time buy time and calm the heart, if this time Zaky still insisted.

Arriving at the toilet, I noticed Zaky's ring. Maybe it's a good time to bring it back. I don't want to be burdened by this. Yeah.all about Zaky I have to let go one by one. Including things that would make me remember him.

I'm back at the dinner table, Zaky's still waiting there. This time I came up with a fresh face. Zaky also seemed calmer than he had been on the beach.

This time Zaky handed me a box. Iopenit. A bracelet. It's minimalist, but I know it's no ordinary bracelet. The white circle is made of white gold and gems in the eyes, this is a diamond.

I'm thrusting back. For me it was too expensive for a parting gift. But Zaky insisted on putting it on my right hand.

“This is not a farewell sign, but this is what I really wanted to give you at my father's wedding. Please do not reject”, Zaky said while buttoning the bracelet hook in my hand.

I just wanted to return the ring. If this is the way, it will make it harder for me to forget. But to reject it, I couldn't. Deep in my heart, I hope that one day the direction of my destiny will change. If could.

Tonight we deliberately spent time together, visiting places that used to be witnesses of our togetherness. Until the time showed at 22:15, Zaky drove me home.

“After this, we do not need to contact each other. I believe, if God betroth us, one day we will be reunited. After this, I'll take a job in Jogja, six months. Please don't search or call me”, I said goodbye as soon as I got home.

Zaky did not reply, Not saying yes or rejecting my words. He peed at my forehead, long enough. There were warm grains of megalir from both of his eyes wetting my forehead. I let it happen for a while. Farewell is so heartbreaking.

I finally got into the house, headed straight for my room. Once I was in my room, I threw my body down. I cried, this time without a sound, though tears were flowing so hard. I lost again. The fate I fought for three years has defeated me. I came back crying.

The dream of marrying the couple I love is gone. Right now I am left here only alone. I was defeated by my destiny. Why do I have to be this sick to take the happy path. Many times I have fallen and been hurt. Destiny brought me to a state of ups and downs many times, no matter when fate would side with me.

I cried. May this cry be broken. After this, I chose to give up on fate. Surrender to what destiny has outlined. Whatever it is. Because it seems like my heart is tired enough to cry again.

I hope that tomorrow when I wake up, if I can still be woken up, I want to be awakened in a state of forgetfulness. Forgetting everything. Forgot my love for Zaky. I forgot to marry before I was 30. I forgot the pain I was experiencing.

I have indeed spoken a separate word to Zaky. Even though each other still hopes to be together someday. But it feels impossible. For me tonight's meeting is farewell to us. Zaky refused it many times. But this is the truth. Our relationship was lost to fate. Even if it's like a sentence I hope it's still a comma, not a point. One day we will be able to continue……