So Many Times
EIGHT
...Everything will heal...
...Everything's gonna heal, though,...
...But later, that's for sure....
...Rest assured...
...♡♡♡...
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Alana POVs
I woke up from my sleep when I felt the sunlight hitting my face. I saw my aunt opening my window. "Morning non" said aunt. "Morning" I replied walking to the bathroom.
"Oh yes, not that the solar phone master, he will come here later in the afternoon" said the aunt to me. "Papa papa here bi?" It's rare that papa comes to see me even almost never, only once twice as likely. It was just to force me to accept an invitation to eat with the Vano family. "Aunty doesn't know that, you just said that," replied the aunt and left the room after getting a response from me.
When I woke up, Dareel wasn't beside me. Even auntie didn't say anything about Dareel, had he left before aunt came. She actually leaves while I'm asleep, isshh what cares about me is up to her to go or not. Wait... did I ask him to sleep with me yesterday? Oh shit, I got a little drunk and acted stupid. How can I ask Dareel to stay here. Shit shit..
After finishing with my bathing ritual, I prepared to visit the place that made me calm, Mother's Tomb. Why do I call it a quiet place? Because for me the grave of the mother is the first place that I will go when there is a problem, when sad, when stressed even when tired, the place can always make me calm, because there's the last place my mother and baby sister were, where they were.
At my mother's grave I could tell her everything that happened to me, how I lived my days, my busy life, I told her everything that I felt both happy and sad. Like seven years ago, I'm sure you must have listened to me up there.
*
"Bi, here's the flower!" My orders were with my aunt when we arrived at Mother's grave. "Non, auntie's coming inside. Aunty brought an umbrella as well so that non Alana does not overheat." Bargain aunt to me. "No need to bi, aunty nyekar aja at the grave of the late husband aunty. Isn't the aunt's husband's grave here, too?" answer me and receive flowers to sprinkle on your grave. "Yes non" her aunt's husband died two years ago due to a work accident and happened to be buried here too, close to the mother's grave.
"For mother, as usual Sunday Alana is always here." I said beside my mother's grave, I pray for my mother. I'm not a good child for you, I can't even help you in her last moments.
"Mother.. mother how are you? this week has been exhausting for Alana. Different from weeks ago alana was always fine, but now Alana is not. Mother...mother remember the man eight years ago who always told Alana to mother? The man Alana loved very much, the man who took care of Alana at school, the man who made Alana strong despite being hurt by Papa. Mother remember? The man who left Alana, he left because of papa's threat. Now he's back again, Dareel's coming again." I told my mother what I felt, I didn't even feel like I was shedding tears. Always like this, I could never hold back my tears in front of my mother's belly button.
"Mother... Alana is confused, Dareel says he's back because he will fix his mistake, he says papa broke his promise first, dareel says he will take care of Alana again. But why is Alana still in doubt, bun. Alana was afraid that one day Dareel would leave again.. The return of Dareel on Alana's side, this should be what Alana wants, but. It's hard to accept people who have left. He was always approaching, even Alana was happy when he was near Dareel but suddenly a feeling of disappointment came." I wipe away the tears that keep flowing.
"Mother with whom else Alana will share the story, Nattali will get married this month, Alana does not want to be a burden on Natt. Ah yes, mother's husband.he news is fine, living happily with his property. Mommy must have seen Alana from up there, right bun? Alana is still the same as before, still crybaby, often cry silently in the room, Alana is also still unable to cook because Alana does not want to be her rival mother. If Alana can cook, then the most delicious mother's cooking is the same as Alana's cuisine." I smiled at the end of my speech. It's true, mother's cooking is the most delicious cuisine I've ever eaten. Even though I tasted it 7 years ago, I still remember your cooking.
"This is from the big brother who was there" said this little boy to me and gave this handkerchief. He took out this handkerchief from the older brother who was there and pointed to the car park area. Who is this boy that meant?. "Thank you," I replied, receiving this handkerchief.
Wait, I think I know that guy.
"Mother, Alana said yes. Alana will come here often, Alana dear mother and sister." My pamphit left the mother's pusara.
I walked to the parking lot, where I saw the man the little boy meant. But I didn't find the man, where he went, if he knew me, why give me this handkerchief. What is Dareel? Ah no way, no one knows that every Sunday I come here other than Nattali, my aunt and one more friend.. Is that him? Who gave me this handkerchief? But he's not in America. I'll call Nattali, maybe she knows about this.
"Non, is it done?" Said my aunt beside me. "It has. Wait, bi, did someone come looking for me?" Ask my aunt. "No. after aunt from father's grave then aunt came straight here nothing," replied the aunt. Ah maybe he's a pity stranger watching me cry and giving me this handkerchief, I don't know.
*
When I was just setting foot in the apartment, papa suddenly came. "Did your aunt tell you papa was coming this afternoon?" papa's first greeting to me, not a greeting. Not even to question my circumstances.
"Yes, aunt said it. What's up?"
"Prepare, next Sunday is your battle day with Vano." Papa's words surprised me. How not, why is this so fast, even this matchmaking only started one month ago.
"Why so fast? I mean this is too rushed. I don't want to, even from the beginning I've rejected this crazy matchmaking," I said impassively.
"Papa doesn't need your consent to do what you think is good. And for the matter of time.is not faster better? Your age is ripe, you are twenty-five and Vano is twenty-eight. You know papa is opening a new branch and we need investment for it, the Vano family wants to give us stock if this matchmaking is accelerated." Really now I can't believe that what's in front of me is my real father, how can this man not think about his son's feelings. For Chrissakes..
"Solar Lord Abraham..Do you have to go this far? How can you question my age rather than ask me how I am doing? Am I okay, am I happy, am I comfortable? How can a father sell his son's future for an investment?" I said with emphasis.
"Listen Alana.. Papa did this for the good of all of us. Papa, us, Vano and his family. Papa is sure that while with Vano you will be happy, not just happy. You will also get a portion of their wealth. You know Vano's an only child." I closed my eyes while this man was still unconscious of his stupidity.
"Killness? For good? Since 8 years ago, there has been no good in my life. Everything's ruined!!! DESTROYED!!!, What should you do to realize that you have ruined everyone's life?" I yelled at the man in front of me, whom I deeply regret that he was my biological Papa.
"Stop being stupid Alana, do what papa ordered. Inevitably that's what you have to do, be nice when the time comes," he yelled at me and left the apartment after saying it all.
Oh my God, he doesn't even know how disgusting Vano's life is and how low Vano treats women. Why would he give his daughter to such a man? Even I know there is no father who wants his son to live with a partner who is ill-natured, but not the man named Surya Abraham. He was even willing to exchange his son for treasures, treasures and treasures.
Am I not like a puppet? I only have a body but it governs and moves me not myself. For the umpteenth time I was broken and for the umpteenth time I could do nothing even to help myself.
...*****...
...TBC...
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