So Many Times
LIMA

...Not a grudge, just want him to understand what I've been feeling all along...

...♡♡♡...

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Alana POVs

I saw the clock on my desk, it was seven in the evening. But this cool-ass guy in front of me didn't leave right away, he came to see her since 5pm this afternoon. Alright... I'll introduce who this man is.

He is Vano Daresya, the only child of a successful businessman engaged in automotive. Yeah, you can guess why Vano came to see me right now. We were both matched by our parents, rather Surya Abraham forced me to do this.

This matchmaking has lasted about a month, this man always invites me to come out just to accompany him to eat or just gather with his friends.

Once I accompanied Vano to an event with his friends, I really did not like them all especially this man named Vano.

To me they are all just a bunch of rich kids who are lazing around relying on their parents' money, they all just want to be friends with social circles whose status is the same as theirs. Its very disgusting.

Likewise with Vano, he has a selfish attitude and is also a coercive. She was just like the hundreds of men I had met, they were only interested in my beautiful body and face. But for me such a meeting will not last long because those who only love the physical will eventually get hurt and I will throw them all away, the trash man.

Just waiting for time, I will do the same to Vano as the man before. I know it's not good behavior, but they don't treat me well, not only with me but with other women the same.

Always think of women as goods, after being used and then thrown away. Well, before they dump me, I'll throw them out first.Aaaahhh I'm tired, I finally decided to go home. And Vano insisted on driving me home, I happened to not have a car today.

The two of us went down together, while on the way Vano did not stop talking about his plan to open a business like his Papa. I'm so lazy to listen to this guy, talk too much and talk too much. Repugn.

Oh my... How many times have I cursed when I was near this man. I closed my mouth and glanced lazily towards her, even she has not stopped talking. Gee whiz...

I finally got to my apartment, ah... For 3 years now I live alone in this apartment, there is an aunt who worked for two years helping me clean and maintain the apartment when I did not come home because of work out of town, he said, sometimes Natt comes to stay here. Not because of anything, it's just that I'm lazy to live in that luxurious house.

A roof with Surya Abraham made it hard for me to breathe to see him every day bringing a paid woman into our house, whereas in that house we and our family lived happily before this man destroyed her. So I decided to live alone in this apartment.

"Al, we've arrived" I'm surprised that Vano opened the door for me. "Thanks," I replied indifferently.

"Lusa ya don't forget to come with me to gather with the kids."

"I guess you can't, you've seen a lot of work lately" I refused with a slight smile.

"How did dong go? Cook the others bring their partners only me who doesn't? It won't be long Alana.. Yeah come on, yeah," I really want to twist this fucking guy's neck, really coercive. "Okay, look at the day after, yeah," said I finished.

"Must anyway, I bought you a nice dress and you and a pretty one, okay. I want you there to be the prettiest of all women, hhmm?" oh, my God, that's a lot of what he wants. I just nodded in return.

Unexpectedly he kissed my lips. I pushed him but he held my hip and kept on******* my lips, I didn't reply to him. I tried to move my head back hoping she would let go of this kiss and she ended this stupid kiss. "Are you not ashamed to do this in front of so many people?" I looked at him annoyed.

"Do what? We're lovers, what's wrong?" the answer is like no sin at all. I threw away my face, lazy to look at this man's face. "Yes I've come home first yes," said Vano, he would kiss me again but I pushed him. He smiled mischievously entering the car and leaving the courtyard of the Apartment, what a smile that was like a devilish smile.

*

I was walking about to enter the main area of the apartment, suddenly someone blocked my arm. My body turned to face him, God, I was surprised. Dareel.  "You can't kiss another man but me,". He said while wiping my lips with his thumb.

"What are you crazy about? I told you not to show up in front of the emmpph," I said, because he suddenly kissed me. Just to simply kiss, not to *******. Is he not an expert in this matter, I subconsciously smiled.

"W-what? Who do you think you are? Why do I have my name?" Say it when my mind goes back to how it was, why he kissed me. He's the guy who left me now coming to kiss me? he thought that I would forgive him easily?, No.

"You mean?" I replied, I felt offended by his words. "Now I ask, why did you come back after 8 years? Turn around again and suddenly tell me to stop doing stupid things, what do you mean?" I asked him to release his hand on my cheek. He closed his eyes, like he was holding back anger. "Al... I did it to protect you from-".

"From what?," cut me off quickly, at this moment my heart aches so much I don't want to listen to anything from his mouth, whatever the reason if he leaves me is the same as he has destroyed me.

"Go away... Whatever I do is no longer your business, live each other's lives like 8 years. Do your life like I'm not around you, don't make me feel like I'm something you only wear when you want to and you'll throw away when you're bored" I cried, I try not to cry in front of this man I once loved so much.

"No, don't say that, you won't listen to the reason I left that time. But I beg you, I will repair everything that has been destroyed, I will restore everything that has been lost. Alana. I've been trying to find you," I saw her eyes glazed over, did she really say this. No Alana, she even left you 8 years ago.

"Go away... ." I let go of his grasp and turned around. Suddenly Dareel hugged me from behind. "Sorry, sorry, sorry Al.. This could really make me die, I promise I will always look after you and get your forgiveness again regardless of whether you agree or not. I'll see you often" said Dareel. Wait, is she crying? My cheeks felt wet from sticking to her cheeks, I let go of her embrace. He cried and looked me in the eye with a smile.

"Return all that is lost? Can you bring back my mother and sister?" I said rambunctiously. Dareel looked at me confusedly, "It's late, go home. I'm tired," as late as I went running into the apartment leaving Dareel pecking, maybe he was confused about what I said. While I was in my room, I cried sobbing.

Lord.. Dareel, who left me eight years ago, is back now, and the mother who left me seven years ago, will she come back? I need God, only you can understand me, only you can calm me. Lord.. Isn't this too painful for me, would there be a happy ending if from the beginning it was always the wounds and cries I got.

Crying again, this is what I do almost every night. Either I feel tired, feel lonely, miss mother, miss the integrity of the family and miss him. Unknowingly, after crying I would fall asleep on the floor like this. I'm tired, I just want to fall asleep. May the Lord please meet me tonight, even through a dream.

Dareel POVs

What Alana said just now.. Return your mother and sister?  What the hell does that mean. I really wanted to go after him, but right now maybe he needs some time for himself. I got in the car and went home to my house, tomorrow I'll see Alana again. He will be angry, but let me promise to take care of him and I will break his clubbing habits and play tricks on men.

Arriving in front of my house, there were many cars parked in the yard. It's almost twelve in the evening, but my uncle's friends haven't come home yet. I entered the house, and jeez, alcohol was on my sense of smell. I saw there were about seven men with their respective female partners, there doing gambling games.

I called my uncle, "What else did uncle do? Not that I've said, never do that at home," I told my uncle, who I saw was a little drunk.

"Reel, you're young. Don't be so serious, join us. Lots of drinks a lot of girls," he pulled my hand and asked me to join him and his friends.

I held his hand and said. "Disperate now or I call the police this very second, I never play around with my words, uncle." threatened me to make my uncle widen his eyes, "You threaten your uncle? Huh! You're... I took care of you from the age of three, now you're threatening me? Yes, this is your home from your hard work. But remember, I can't finance our lives without that gambling, stupid," he said, increasingly fiery, I can only exhale. He's not a little drunk, but really drunk.

Alright... I decided to go out to see them all, my uncle's friends. "Sorry everyone, it's late at night. I've been informed that at exactly twelve o'clock at night there will be patrols around here, please understand," I told them, I had to lie so that this would be resolved.

"Is he your rich niece, the one who owns this mansion? Come here son, your easy time should not be in vain with work and work. Playing a little bit is natural" said one of my uncle's friends who I knew was a drug supplier. Among all the people here, only I am completely still conscious, the rest of them are drunk and some are even lying on the floor.

"Your car is in front of our house, it will make the police suspicious. They could've raided this house and if anything happened, sorry, I can't help you guys," I stared intently at my uncle who just kept listening like a fool.

"Hey hey come home, it's also late. Tomorrow we'll party somewhere else. I promise I'll practice drinking a lot, okay," said my uncle, What? Drinkies? Not changed at all. "All right, we go home first." One by one uncle's friends came home drunk, some were picked up by his personal driver. I used to pick up my uncle when he was very drunk. It's so sickening.

Yes, it's true that man is my uncle, Arnold Agler. Both of my parents died when I was three and in my family the only thing I had was my uncle, my father's sister. Uncle has been babysitting me since I was three years old, as long as uncle is a patient man, hardworking and good, very good even. Even he did not want to get married because he was busy taking care of his business and also taking care of me.

But when I was fourteen, my uncle's business went bankrupt. After his business was destroyed uncle started again everything from zero, but failed again and again. From there his attitude changed completely, he started drinking, talking rudely, playing gambling, rarely even going home.

Our house used to be very big, but because uncle lost the gambling game finally the house was confiscated because uncle made the house as collateral.

We moved into a small suburban house, uncle was the same every day. And I continued my schooling, uncle's job is a gambler. No, it's not a job. It was the wrong thing, but if uncle won then the money was bought for us to eat. Even if there's still a story about uncle giving me the money to pay for school.

My daydreams came when someone knocked on my bedroom door. "Reel, are you asleep?" That's uncle's voice. I walked to the door and opened the door for him. I saw my eyes and red face because of the effects of drinking too much alcohol. "What's the matter?" I replied leading uncle back to his room.

I laid uncle on his bed, "Sorry reel, uncle always makes you bother. I can't let go of all this, only you uncle has a reel. You're like a son to me, don't hate me." After saying that, uncle went back to sleep.

I never hated you, uncle. I just want you to change, don't ruin yourself like this, I miss my old uncle a lot. My mind is in my heart.

...******...

...TBC...

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