Halalku Waiting
The Part 19

^^^Jakarta, 23-03-2015^^^

This is a special book about my longing for you. You know! I really couldn't bear the news of your departure back then!! You left me with all the memories you gave me right then and there, on that day from 02-01-2014 you told me that you wanted to pursue your dreams, my tears broke when I heard the news, and the most painful thing is that I can no longer communicate with you, that makes me so claustrophobic!!

I beg you to come, I do not know how many books to express all these words, it may be 5 or 6 books, I do not count them, because if I look at the book, I felt like you were going to be in front of me.

I only hope to God, may you always be there in the best care and always healthy. May the ideals that you dream of quickly come true, I can only pray for you...

Congratulations to Arfan! I hope you don't forget me if God's gonna get us back together.... Aamiins.

The deggg!!

It felt like my heart wanted to cry when I read that word for word, I thought it was Fathan's writing and it turned out to be Syifa's handwriting.

I saw that Fathan was silent in his place, he could no longer say a word, nor could I.

"You've read the beginning.." Ask.

I who was asked just nodded.

"Then read the last page.we don't have much time Arfan...."

I quickly opened the last page even though my hand was a little shaky holding this book. No Arfan should open Syifa's diary in front of her future husband, but how else this is Fathan's will.

Before I wanted to turn the last page I saw a photo stuck in the middle of the book with my heart I saw it, I saw it, occasionally I glanced at Fathan so that he did not know me who was currently looking at a photo attached to it.

And it turns...

Thatme! It was a picture of me attached. It was a photo of my memories of my stay at the boarding school before I went to Cairo.

'O Allah..What is the meaning of all this? I'm really confused!?' my inner.

I did not want to wrestle too long looking at the photo, without thinking long I immediately opened the last page and read it. 

jakarta, 13-01-2018^^^^

Arfan...

If we meet later I hope you'll smile at me, let's just say all our stories are just a fantasy.

Soon I'll be somebody's wife, a wife of a man I've never known before. And I don't really love her

But know one thing Arfan....

I will always love you...

It will always and always be.until God who changes all tastes disappears by itself...

Although the wait has been so long I have waited, and until now you have not come to me...

But I'm sure the soul mate will not go where, all humans created by God is paired, right?

If you are not my destiny that God has chosen for me, then I will try to be happy, even though happiness over tightness is painful!

I used to feel really happy, you know Arfan? God brought me to you at a time I never thought possible, God sent you to change me from all my dark past. I'm grateful to have known you this deep, I hope you'll be happy there too.

Warm regards from someone who misses you so much_Syifa.

..._...

'Astagfirullah...What is this, God...?my inner.

"Have you read Arfan?" Ask Fathan.

I just nodded in agreement.

"So much love for you, that he would not take that love away from you." he said.

"Arfan..(pause for a moment).I just want him to be happy, I love him, whether since when the affection exists, but if the happiness he does not get with me, I love him, I will grant her happiness with you..." Sluggishly.

I who heard her furrowed my brows. I don't understand where the talk is going right now.

"What do you mean?" I'm flat with a slightly formal language.

"I just want her to be happy, I want to see the people I love happy, but I see she's not happy with me, and I think she'll be happy with you..." 

Silent....

"What do you mean, this wedding is not a game that can be played at any time...." I said flat, I want to feel like I'm scolding the person in front of me, but for now I can't be emotional, I can still hold it.

"I beg Arfan, do this so that you and Syifa are just as happy, you don't think about me, I'm fine....maybe Syifa is not a match for me and I have thought carefully about this, even though I feel sad to have to lose my loved ones, I will try to sincerely accept all this, he said, because I believe in God's destiny, where someday there will be happiness after sadness comes..."

"I'm sorry I can't." I turned my face to the crowd out there.

"I beg Arfan, replace my current position, this is all for his happiness! and more for your happiness."he said again.

"I'm sorry, I can't." I said then I left not a few steps away from this situation arrived...

"Arabine! I'd never seen Fathan plead like this to anyone else, if it ever was and it was just his parents!" Raihan said firmly.

"Originally you know Arfan! we are his best friend and we know what Fathan looks like he is not the kind of person who is good at pleading like this...." Connect again.

I turned around and I saw Arfan just bowing in lethargy. I don't know what thoughts have gotten into him.

"I beg Arfan.When we don't have much more, just one hour of this wedding will take place..." Said lethargic.

Now I look towards Kasian. How can I replace this position, it's not an easy thing for me.

Hmmmmmm

I heard a long breath. I can't think straight anymore. I was confused, on the other hand I was very happy if he just backed away, but on the other hand I was also sad to see Fathan who gave up just like that. This is not only getting love but this is also the sacrifice of a person towards his candidate. 

"You're so sincere in love with her, I believe you're a good person, just keep going on your show, sorry I can't accept your request" I said flatly.

"Should I kneel before you to accept my request? Ask begs.

"I don't need that kind of thing..."

"Arabine! I beg!!" Now his voice is an octave.

Henan...

"Arfan please accept this, I think it suits you..." Connect again.

"But ka..but did not have time to continue the next word arrived Fathan cut it.

"I beg you..." Said lethargic.

"Hmm.well if that's your request, but before it goes on I want us to talk first with your family and Syifa's family..." 

"Thank you Arfan.....

"I hope this is the best decision for you and for me..."

"Aamiin.we talk about this inside, I'll call Syifa's parents...."

I just nodded at his words.

Now we have gathered in the living room room, where my parents Fathan, Syifa and Ummi attended the conversation, and Syifa would be surprised if her husband was not Fathan but me, Arfan! Muhammad Arfan is more precise.

After all had agreed with Fathan's decision then the marriage took place.

I do not believe the man I always call his name in every prayer, now will soon be his wife, O Allah, may you bless us by perfecting half of my religion.

This is the moment I was waiting for, shaking hands with my in-laws, to shake his hand and say the sacred promise, cold sweat was now coming out, I felt nervous, this is how it felt when faced with him, there was a tinge of stiffness when this hand touched his hand.

"Don't be nervous son, you can definitely leave everything to God." said Abi Syifa by patting my shoulder while giving strength so as not to be nervous when saying the sacred promise.

"Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.."my spirit, sometimes I regulate my breath which is now a bit of trouble just because of nervousness.

.

.

...

"Qabiltu nikahaha wa tazwijaha alal mahril madzkur wa radhiitu bihi, Wallahu waliyu taufiq.

The law!!!!

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