When the Heart is Tired
because of hp

Since we have had hp we have often been neglected. My husband is cool with his cellphone. Tomorrow is Thursday at my sister's house to be self-wanted on her Friday night so make a cake or food on Thursday. I will also go there to plan to ask to bring Mas Hasan.

" mas tomorrow where sari sak wirid between mama to there ya" said me at night

" yes, papa transfers but his return papa did not have time to pick up later ask for a transfer yes" he replied while playing hp as usual

" if anyone does send ya mas if there is no later mama call to pick up' I said again while glancing at my husband's reaction

" hmmm yes" she replied somewhat annoyed

I can only be patient and stroke the chest to see Hasan's behavior behind this. What really made Mas Hasan change my mind. After a long period of pensive, I finally fell asleep because my son had slept from earlier. Outside again cold weather rain might make my child sleep fast.

The night I woke up when I heard my son whining for *****. After I hug and give ASI she falls asleep again. Sometimes you wake up two or three times to ask for *****.

This morning I woke up a little bad almost at six. Maybe because you often wake up to breastfeed so that you have slept a little soundly.

Finished making breakfast I bathed the little guy. Finish dressing We are ready to go in between mas hasan.

" mas let's go "take me

Mas Hasan walked to the dressing room and then drove us to my brother's house to get off the Honda.

" didn't come in for a second" I asked

" don't just go home" she replied

Though I hope Mas Hasan came in for a while to say hello to my family just came home. But how else mas Hasan did not want ya already I entered alone. Mas Hasan immediately turned his Honda and went home.

" Assalamukalaikum" I said my greetings when I entered my brother's house

" waalaikumsalam" they answered from the kitchen

I went straight to the kitchen and met my sister. It turns out that my sister Mak Sama is already here.

" up onda by yourself what's between the bells" my sister asked

" between my brothers" I replied

" where Hasan didn't come in for a drink first" he asked again

" no, he went straight home" answered me again

I joined my sister but just sat down because they were peeling onions again. By midday my second brother came. All day I was at my sister's house. Today I cook rames rice to serve later tonight. The menu of chicken sambal gulai jengkol and sambal ati ampela Sama potato. There is also cucumber. The food is finished in the cook. We were ready to go home. I was forced to call Mas Hasan because my sister Sama brother did not have time to deliver it was almost five. Kasian later if you take me first they go home to the kesorean while later tonight want to come here again.

I called Mas Hasan his tone was connected but not yet raised. The second call was just picked up.

" you pick up, because no one is sending" I said after connecting

" hah again his fun fishing busy ja, was already said not to have time to pick up a shuttle" grumbled mas Hasan from across the phone

" they didn't send me anything too late" I replied

Yes, wait there, nusahin aja" he replied while turning off the phone.

Astaghfirullah was very rude to say Mas Hasan, but we only asked to be picked up.

Because of the fun of fishing he was angry. Give me patience, O Allah, while I stroke my chest.

I went into the house again on purpose I called out the house a bit away not want my family to hear the grunts or words mas Hasan that hurt right.

ten minutes later the sound of Honda mas Hasan, I also say goodbye to my brother and my sister also goodbye home. My mom takes a shower tonight just got home.

Mas Hasan was just waiting at Honda I came out immediately swivel Honda. Sari came out

" San doesn't go in first eat" asked sari

" no, my brother just went home late in the afternoon" he replied

" later tonight come here again, wirid here alone" said sari again

" it seems that there can't be any wires near the house" replied Mas Hasan again

" yes, be careful" said sari

" yes, brother" we answered

until the house at half-six.I got off the Honda and got into the house. While Mas Hasan left again maybe connect his fishing rod earlier. Though I hope to take care of my son because it is late afternoon.want me to stay home and take a bath. For my son, I took a shower at my sister's house. So I can just pack the house first and sweep the floor. Her bath was forced to wait for Mas Hasan to come home because my son was active if I wanted to stay alone without supervision is still a danger.

' why have you changed so much now your concern for us is lacking and often angry' my inner self

finished packing and sweeping me to sit next to my son who was cool playing while watching cartoons on tv.

I still think about Mas Hasan's attitude. Our child is getting bigger job mas Hasan also just noreh it is now often not ready, ask for a side job even ask what work. The more dizzy he thought.

Our economy is also good. What else if the rainy season I was forced to turn my brain to divide the money to meet the needs.

Mas Hasan is an active smoker so every day smoking no matter rain or light. If you don't have cigarettes don't go to work he said lemes forced me to owe it to the stall. Sometimes I am embarrassed because I often owe Mas Hasan less hard work again.

often I am blamed Equal in-laws said the money from all my work is hard but wasteful shopping made that is not enough he said. O Allah sometimes weeps to hear the words of those who do not know the truth. Sometimes I'm willing to eat noodles let my son eat rice with the side dish was the most delicious eggplok. Indeed the money from his work is handed over to me. But fifty thousand a day it was still cut twenty thousand for Hasan's two packs of cigarettes stay thirty thousand. Thirty thousand money is what I have to manage a day should I be enough to eat us a day with my son. At most, buy the same sekilo rice for sambal mi or tempe buy enough eggs for my son's side dishes.

almost magrib mas Hasan just came home. After washing my feet and entering directly I just need to take a shower. I didn't ask where it was because it felt like I was in the heart. Already know have a baby child already afternoon is still out. Even though tonight out hanging out again that.

Finished the bath, it looks like my son asked for sleepy. But I'm waiting for magrib and all of you I just put to bed.

after magrib mas Hasan pampit to go self-made in a neighboring house. Maybe he noticed that it was being kept quiet again.

" papa left wirid first ma" his pamit

" hmmm" while giving my ASI just cleared my throat.

Not long after, I heard that Hondanya had left. We both live in this big house. Sometimes I feel a little scared about her house we're a little far from the neighbor's house. What's more if the night Mas Hasan often out hanging out his sense of wanting to shout furiously is not the same as his wife and child alone in the house far from the neighbors.

His excursion is only a moment but often return home at eleven nights at the earliest to go home at ten. I want to sometimes tell our problems but who I don't want to later open my own household disgrace if the story with others is afraid to be told to others again understand we are still alive in the village so ibuk-umuk still like to sit - sit alias hump.

Want to tell the same family I'm afraid Mak same father I think later can rise his hypertension. Meanwhile, let me pendam myself later if it is not strong then I tell them.

At half-nine Mas Hasan was home.

" fuck already sleeping ma" he asked. already know his son was asleep still asking thought I

" it's "my answer

" it's been a long time sleeping" asked Mas Hasan again

" just magrib away" I replied

" tired to join the rewang Tadi maybe" said again.tumben many ask usually come home wirid directly hanging out this bed in front of the tv. But it's really good that I'm afraid of being left alone what else is this Friday night sometimes like goosebumps.

" it's possible" I answered

I went to the kitchen to drink water, I asked Hasan

" want to have coffee or tea" I asked, trying to reconcile with this feeling. It's my own choice too.

" tea" she replied

I made a cup of tea and I put it next to Hasan.

" what's the wirid menu earlier" I asked

" lontong" replied Hasan

" want to eat again no, because the vegetables from the house kak sari just want me warm right" asked me

" what vegetable" she asked back

" there is jengkol gulai sambal chicken sambal ati ampela mix potatoes" said ku

" let's leave a little jengkol gulai just like chicken sambal" he said while sipping warm tea

I will rest according to the order of another Hasan mas I am warm so as not to stale tomorrow morning can for our breakfast. My son was brought his own fried chicken.

After warming up the food I wash my feet and brush my teeth ready to go to bed my child. Because I'm coming again the moon can't be Hasan night - night builds me up.

I saw Hasan watching tv while playing hp. Sometimes want to peep also fit the concentration of playing hp that is exactly what is open in hp playing games or again chat with people I myself do not know.

not long after that I fell asleep. Today is too tired of body and mind.

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...