When the Heart is Tired
young marriage

My son was seven months old. My in-laws now no longer live near us he has moved some distance away in a crowded place and his path is also asphalt. The heritage house is now our occupying.

My husband already has a Nokia phone. Can for WhatsApp can be for Facebook and others.

" mas open his hape ya adek later in the video fitting again crawling" said I

There are actually many photos and videos of my son that have been taken and on my husband's recording. But I don't want to open my husband's phone and I don't know WhatsApp and Facebook as much as I can get myself this.

sometimes I suspect also with my husband because if already holding his own fun phone and smiles sometimes to the WC was brought his phone.

" this is what mas, kok dear" cried me when I ventured to open my husband's phone and see the contents of the messenger.

" same brother himself is not wrong" Belanya his while asking for his cellphone back

" mas I also have a cousin brother but if you ask the news just do not use affection or miss the same big brother" said I'm excited - gebu my eyes have reddened almost crying

" what to me is just confiding with brother, anyways suspicious and become a wife" he replied again

" yeah how not to suspect his language kangen, I miss the love of brother, it's more than language to cousin understand not" I began to emotion. Fortunately my son has been sleeping since

My husband quietly did not answer anymore and just went out of the house.from that time almost every night he went out of the house hanging out with his friends.

" had forgotten my way home" SMS me when it was almost eleven but not home yet. I wondered why it seemed like my husband was starting to change. I feel sad sometimes I cry in the room before going to bed. I also no longer work just hoping for a living from my husband who noreh. If the bright season is enough to meet the needs if again the rainy season feels like crying. My husband doesn't want to work just noreh tok.

" grove to the house Mak ya want to go there maybe all of you sleep there has long not been there" I said one afternoon after bathing around four.

" if you want to go there, take the Honda there yourself" she replied, it hurts to hear my husband say that

" his way suck mas later mama gendong adek bring clothes adek again hard" said I wail

" mas interun until the end of the asphalt there later" he replied again

I had to meng yes because it has not been to Mak's house for a long time. Earlier this morning Mak called to ask the news of kangen with his grandson as well. We went to the house almost every night we went there.

Sometimes I think maybe this is the risk of young marriage what else my husband and I are the same age maybe his emotions are still unstable and not too mature. Because it's all my wish so I have to sincerely live it.

" your own husband bell where late afternoon bring another baby" asked Mak when he just arrived

" at Mak's house tomorrow you want to be alone here because we will sleep here" I replied

I was acting normal in front of my family not to tell about our problems, actually wanted to tell stories but were afraid they would think and become anxious.

Tonight my brother who is near the house of Mak came here as well so Rai is the house of Mak. Almost nine o'clock my son fell asleep not long after that I also fell asleep.

In the morning I came home a little afternoon told to have breakfast and cook at home Mak bring rice and side dishes Mateng.

I took honda with me while carrying my son because the road is still land. I'm pretty much too. On the road that there is a hole yes my balance is lost Honda I look up and down I let it go, I choose to stand release Honda rather than my son fell too.

' golden yourself to let us be like this' my mind while looking right now if there are passersby can ask for help

apparently quiet no one passing by forced me to stand up by myself while carrying my child, after trying my hardest finally can also enforce my Honda.

I climbed back slowly to the house. Up at home still quiet my husband has not come home. I went into the house and sighed to see the state of the house.when only one night I left the house was already a mess. Many dirty glasses Dishes also there are about three dirty. Cigarettes and his ashes near many chairs.

In the front middle room of the television the mattress is still on the pillow also scattered blankets are also not folded. O Allah, what is wrong when you wake up, the mattress is rolled and the blanket is folded. After eating and drinking can also be washed myself I thought while taking a deep breath. I had time to think whether all households like this all duties at home are burdened to the wife.

It feels tired after packing and sweeping. Good thing my son looked at me in bed watching television.

Before noon my husband had gone home. fortunately earlier mak told me to cook all of you there so I just brought food Mateng. Our daily food is quite simple sometimes sambal mi same omelet. Sometimes sambel tempe the same vegetable leaves shoots yam. all that I am grateful while being able to connect our lives.

as usual, my husband would take me out to the house of in-laws. Sometimes I'm tired of wanting to sleep at home, my son goes to bed early, but my husband wants to come along. Is this the true nature of my husband, it used to seem like he was loving and understanding.

We did not meet for about six months and were immediately invited to marry. At that time I was just that. I have not thought too far the risk of a household if you already have children. Problems come in alternating.

' O God, may I be strong and patient in the face of your every ordeal' my prayer in my heart.

" come home soon" I replied

" yes yes" she replied somewhat annoyed

We also went out to the house of the in-laws. There sister-in-law is again on the road too. We came in and joined.

Not long after that my husband said he wanted to go to his friend's house for a while. I want to not want to say it.

" mas to the house kang no first y" said my husband while walking out

" yes but don't be long mama has been a bit sleepy this" I replied while looking at the departure of my husband

" hmmm" I still hear her answer

I had a conversation with my father-in-law and brother-in-law while watching the soap opera.Nine hours my son had been whining to sleep because I was sleepy. But my husband hasn't come home yet.

" mas go home yok adek have asked kelon ni dantuk mama also drowsy" I sent an SMS message to my husband. Because my phone is still a regular Nokia phone that can only send SMS messages and for telephone.

" in a minute, just sleep first" she replied

Hmmm it feels awkward I read SMS messages from my husband he said earlier this minute invited home shortly. Hah sometimes emotions are often made up and down in the face of my husband's attitude.

Almost ten o'clock he came to Mak's house to take me home.

" you wake up" he said

I woke up and immediately carried my son, I walked first to Honda without answering my husband's words. It still feels like my heart is broken.

Until the house I go straight in and put my son to bed and then come to sleep next to him. My husband entered the room and walked into the room.

" ma papa is sitting on the bridge in front of the house, yes, want to hang out with friends" he said while opening the room door

" hmmm" I replied. I was lazy to respond like it had been two hours more hanging out this is still less still hanging out in front of the house. Was not satisfied yet while still bachelor hanging out with his friends.

Sayup-sayup I heard the voice of his friend came using Honda and heard the sound of laughter. I don't know what the hell is talking about.

I fell asleep my husband entered the house I don't know. Already entered the dreamland.

I once forbade my husband to leave the house after we came home from the house of in-laws until I threatened him but still he came out he said for a moment. Actually what he's looking for out there. Yes hanging out the same bachelorette.

"what a bachelor would like to do again is not satisfied hanging out in bachelor time first" I said one night when my husband was allowed out hanging out.

" hanging out for a fresh breeze to sleep is also not sleepy" he replied while out of the house riding a Honda. Again, I can only stroke my chest and hold a special heart. Strengthen the heart to always be patient.

The next morning, the clock was five, almost half six. I woke up and made black coffee for my husband.

" mas woke up almost six" I said while shaking his body

" wake up" I cried again

" hmmm" he answered while writhing and still closed his eyes

" you haven't woken up at six o'clock you have to be noreh" I said again

Only then did my husband wake up washing his face and brushing his teeth. Then drink coffee while holding hp.

" mas udh ready for breakfast if you want breakfast first later his noreh misadventures" Setu ku from inside the room while tidying up the bed

My son was in front of the tv watching cartoons while learning to crawl.

Almost seven o'clock my husband just left for work. Behind this my husband is a little lazy to work. What else if he slept until late in the morning must be very difficult to wake up. If you leave noreh often it's a little noon almost seven hours later ten hours have gone home he said tired. Like that his work every day noreh only ready half.want enough from where his work is only part-time while the need is increasing what else we already have children. Sometimes I get scolded by my father-in-law to wake my husband up at dawn. But how else have I tried it like it continues to be advised just silence. It feels greget in my heart to work again my child is still a child no one to take care of. Besides I can work where most go noreh as well. That's a risk because graduating high school immediately married without thinking long term first.

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