Night In Istanbul
I'm Worried

The time has already shown at four in the afternoon local time. Sometimes I go back to check my phone and there is still no reply from Mas Ryan.

Even though my mind is being messed up, I can't look sad in front of Indra. I went back to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Suddenly my phone rings. Soon I'll get the cell phone on the dinner table. I thought Mas Ryan called back, but it was Tina who was on the phone.

"Hello assalamualaikum Ana..."

"Waalaikumsalam.yes Tina what's wrong?"

"Ana, Intan and I are worried about you. I'm now in Intan's room..."

"We were going to go straight to your house. But it looks like you should call you first..."

"You're home from college?"

"Already Ana. There was an empty clock just now so we left immediately..."

"How did Ana get us to your house? We're really worried.."

"Yes, you can come here. Ryan hasn't come home yet."

"Ok Na's. We'll be there soon. Assalamualaikum.."

"Wa'alaikumsalam."

We hadn't finished talking yet I hung up on Tina, because Indra called and we went to buy lunch. There's still a lot to talk about, right?

(The exact time they were here was when Mas Ryan had not yet returned home)

Ten minutes later after I received a call from Tina came the sound of Tina and Intan coming from the front door.

"Assynolt...."

"Wa'alaikumsalam's chat. Indra baby can help Mama to open the door?"

"Yes Ma.."

Cklek.

"Assynoltom...The handsome senses that open the door, huh?" Intan looks happy to see Indra.

"Wa'alaikumsalam Aunt Intan and Aunt Tina.."

"Please enter Intan and Tina again in the kitchen." I screamed from the kitchen.

Tina and Intan immediately headed to the kitchen.

"You're okay, right?"

I answered Tina's question with just a half-smiling face.

"Why are you again Ana?"

"I'm going to cook to prepare dinner." I answered Intan's question with disdain.

"You don't have to cook Na, we already bought food.."

"Yes I think this food is enough for you, Indra and your husband." Intan handed me the food parcel.

"So we stopped by to buy pilav and pilde..."

"So you can rest your body and mind for a moment Na.." Tina stroked my shoulder.

"Mama, mama, see Indra's ball?" Indra came to the kitchen.

"Indra is the same way Auntie Intan yuk? Aunt Intan wants to see also other Indra toys dong..." Intan immediately took Indra away from the kitchen.

"You two talk. I'll accompany Indra."

"Thank you Tan.."

Me and Tina immediately sat around the dining table.

"It's so that the campus immediately told me why you didn't go to college.." Tina started the conversation.

"When he told me about Sinta Ma'am I didn't believe it at first, but if everything is linked to each other Na."

"Your husband is not home, you know where to go?"

I replied by shaking my head.

"I got home in the afternoon and to this day Mas Ryan hasn't come home yet.."

"I've tried so many times to contact him but not at all lifted up. I also sent a message until now unanswered.."

"I was in shock. My mind is so fucked up.." I lowered my head and clenched my hand.

"I'm anxious. I'm concerned. I'm curious, but on the one hand I'm also afraid that this is all true Tina.."

"What if everything's right, Tin?"

I am no longer able to hold back my tears. The tears I had been holding back from this afternoon were overflowing. The rush does not stop.

Fortunately Indra and Intan were playing in Indra's room. So Indra could not hear my crying in the kitchen

"Astaghfirullah's.... Astaghfirullah.hiks..." I try to control my emotions.

Tina got out of her chair and hugged me.

"For now I want to make sure it's Tina tonight.."

"I'm determined to find out everything myself."

"Tonight I will try to check the contents of Mas Ryan's cell phone."

"I can't keep on not knowing everything."

"If you've checked everything what will you do next?"

"If I've found out everything myself and it's all true, then there's no other choice Tin..."

Tina remained silent for a moment. He seems to understand what I mean.

"I guess before you decide that you should call your family first.."

"Your mother and Andi's feet need to know how you're doing here Na.."

I'm nodding.

"You focus on solving this problem first.."

"No Tin. Tomorrow I'll go to college.."

"During finding out everything, I don't think I should make Mas Ryan suspicious."

"I'll act like I always do until it's all revealed.."

"You're willing Na?"

"I should be able to. I also can't look sad because there is Indra."

"So, tonight you're gonna check your husband's phone?"

"Yes Tin. Ryan almost never wakes up a third of the night and that's my chance.."

"alright... If that's what you want to do, we'll always support you. You have to remember here you are not alone. You need anything you can call me and Tina."

"Yes Tin.. Thanks yeah.."

"And I'm sorry I didn't want to kick you out, but maybe you'd better go home now. I'm afraid Mas Ryan will be home soon.."

"Yes Na, we'll be home soon. You'll let us know tomorrow.."

"Yes, tomorrow I'll tell you everything..."

Tina and Intan immediately said goodbye. Indra and I were hungry, so we had dinner with Tina and Intan.

Exactly what I thought, about twenty minutes after Intan and Tina told Mas Ryan to come home.

(Thankfully Tina and Intan had already gone home)

"Assynoltom..."

"Wa'alaikumsalam warahmatullahi Mas.."

"Have you had dinner?" Ask Ryan as he walks to the dinner table.

I noticed Mas Ryan's expression. He was not as angry as he was this morning.

(What's going on outside until he turns like this again?)

"We just finished eating.."

"So Aunt Tina and Aunt Intan here Pa, bring this food.." Indra showed me Mas Ryan's plate containing pilav and pilde that I had prepared.

"Oh, are they here?"

"Yes, I played with Indra Mas..."

"Mas already eaten?"

"I've eaten outside Ma.."

"Then, Pilav and Pilde Papa I keep them in the refrigerator. It's warmed tomorrow."

(Yes, like this. Act as usual Ana)

Dinner was over Indra was busy with his cars in the guest room.

"Pa, where did you go? I called and sent an unanswered message?" I asked Mas Ryan while cleaning the dishes.

"I was out. I need time to myself, Ma.."

Ryan answered like that and then went upstairs.

I smiled bitterly at Mas Ryan's reply. My trust in him now is half over.

(We'll see tonight Mas)

(All your causes have changed and all that you have hidden I can know tonight Mas)

I did say that in my heart. But deep down in my heart the deepest fear is still there.

(God, if all this is true, please show me the truth)