MY WORLD YOUR WORLD
The Pain of Jealousy

The next day Najwa underwent his abstention for 5 consecutive days. Gus Azmi was never seen during Najwa's conquest. Najwa also wondered where he was, but usually he always accompanied Najwa. While in the madrasah Gus Azmi saw a lot of thoughts. Najwa could only have dreamed of his different attitude.

Almost 3 months of Gus Azmi's attitude remained so, which made a big question mark for Najwa. The last message he wrote was that he was in full college. This semester and next semester are the time of PPL (Direct Learning Practices) and KKN (Real Work Lectures). Najwa, who still does not understand the world of lectures, tries to understand and be patient in dealing with his changing attitude.

"PPL what the hell is El?" ask Najwa curiously.

"PPL that I know is the practice of teaching wa, usually taught in that school.... My brother-in-law also went to college. And he's always busy here and there he said to do PPL work." Eli is at length.

"OOO that is," Najwa pondered for a while because he felt confused with Gus Azmi who often teased him first.

"Why wa? Who is PPL?" Eli was no less curious.

"Nobody, just want to know. Who knows, I could go to college tomorrow, hehehe." Honest Najwa.

"Sama, I also want to go to college. Later if there is already PPL KKN wa.., if KKN it usually stay in the area left behind. Bareng group of boys. Iiiiihhhh.., must be exciting!" Eli smiled to himself imagining this.

"What's exciting, my mind floats everywhere if you imagine him staying with his friends for KKN duties." The inner groan of Najwa.

"But the most difficult is the time to make a decryption wa. There's a test anyway, if you don't pass it you can't get a diploma." The statement from Eli.

"Why do you know where that is from?" Najwa asked back.

"I told you, from my brother-in-law. How anyway? Don't talk when you're talking...." Eli nodded his head slowly at Najwa.

"Once again upset nie El.., so can not focus." Complain Najwa.

"Whose thinking is it? Do you have a boyfriend? Be careful low, if you do have a boyfriend do not get caught hut. Can be takzir you if you get caught meeting!"

"Who has a girlfriend? Don't make DECH!" Decline Najwa.

"Ayow ngaos Abah! Don't just talk," said Ziza to their surprise.

"Shock me!" Eli said spontaneously.

Ziza just cheered away regardless of Eli's words.

"Let's El.., it's late!" Get Najwa to start getting ready.

***

These days were difficult times for Najwa. Because he who always filled his days suddenly changed drastically. Gus Azmi is busy, Najwa repeatedly assures his heart that everything will return to how it was when the tasks of Gus Azmi are completed.

It was the day that his college friends visited home. It just so happened that Najwa was picket that day. Najwa sees her friends are beautiful and fashionable, which guys also look cool. Distinct from her outmoded self, according to him.

Raisya's mother told Najwa to deliver drinks for them. Najwa slowly headed for the living room. As he approached, Najwa was startled by a sight he thought was unusual. Beside Gus Azmi there was a beautiful girl, close to where they were sitting. Gus Azmi looks seriously at his laptop which is unaware of Najwa's presence. Suddenly Najwa's heart ached at the sight, especially Najwa saw the girl deliberately nudged his hand but Gus Azmi did not reject it at all. Najwa's heart was sliced because of it, but Najwa always kept his distance from him. But outside he is very free with other women.

"This is his drink" Najwa's voice rang out in a trembling manner as he endured his heartache. His hands were cold as ice.

"Yes, thank you.." said one of Gus Azmi's friends.

"The mother what's her name? How pretty, "the tease of one of his boy friends.

"Don't be naughty, they're my students!" Gus Azmi did not look at Najwa.

"No...! Why is it like this...? NO. - NO...! Najwa you must believe in him, you must be sure he will remain faithful. But, whatever the power.., I am indeed not like those who can easily approach him. Gus Azmi's...! Why does it hurt to love you so much.., it's so tight...."

Najwa wept lamenting his faithful fate with Gus Azmi. He didn't want to come back suspecting him like he was with Ziza. Najwa tries to be patient and endure the pain until Gus Azmi explains everything about who the woman is.

"Why wa? You sick?" Tanya Raisya worried.

"No mbak, but I'm permission yes mbak today not picket first..," explained Najwa.

"Why?"

Najwa was speechless in response to Raisya's question. He looked at the living room and saw Gus Azmi joking with the woman he was sticking with.

"Are you jealous?" Goda Raisya's.

"Why should I be jealous, I'm a nobody, right?" Answer Najwa moody.

"They are always so wa, used to scold Gus Azmi to be able to maintain his attitude if with girlfriends. But it seems that girl can't understand." Light Raisya.

"It's none of my business." Najwa resigned to respond to this, because Gus Azmi himself had dissolved in his duties so that he was not aware of his presence.

"I said that because I've seen Gus Azmi yell at the woman myself." Light Raisya spirit.

"Let it go, he enjoyed it too, right?" Najwa said bitterly.

"Yes that...! who can refuse to be approached by beautiful women, good, smart anyway." said Raisya excited.

"Let's just call me ma'am, when they're done. I'll clean up the living room."

"Don't...! You're here to keep me, yes" forced Raisya.

Najwa is forced to accompany Raisya in ndalem. Najwa chose to sit in the back so as not to hear them. Najwa's tears suddenly dripped because of the look back on Gus Azmi's face that was seen enjoying her togetherness with the girl.

Not long after they finally packed up and left the ndalem. Vague Najwa saw Gus Azmi holding the girl and saw the girl hugging her tightly. It was heartbroken that Najwa saw this, he was determined to ask for his explanation about it.

But while in the madrassa he permission will implement KKN so that he was replaced by ustadz Yusuf as his temporary replacement.

Najwa could only endure the anger and pain in his heart for not being able to ask for his explanation.

Two weeks away is even semester break, and soon Najwa will be in Tsanawiyah's 3rd grade. For months Najwa endured her heartache, it was painful and torturous. During the cottage vacation, Gus Azmi only gave a short message.

_be careful on the road, sorry I haven't been able to accompany you Dinda_

Najwa's tears immediately could not be dammed anymore because his patience was as if being tested. Three months ago he saw Gus Azmi with the girl and today he imagined when Gus Azmi lived with the girl. One house is one roof, the room is not far away. Najwa seemed to give up on that.

The longer cottage holidays further tormented Najwa with his drifting fantasies imagining him.

Najwa tried to fill his days with full activities so as not to remember about Gus Azmi. But every time he sleeps, his shadow comes back and comes again and again.

Unlike Ziza, Ziza enjoys her vacation with Gus Azmi, a name written in her phone, who disguises herself as Gus Azmi. Their relationship is getting closer and closer. Ziza thought he was Gus Azmi whom she had known all along. Ziza was also not suspicious at all with Gus Azmi who when he was in college still had time to contact him. Ziza was really happy because Gus Azmi was so considerate of her. It didn't take long for them to both express love and bond. A disaster that will destroy his relationship with Najwa begins.

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