MY WORLD YOUR WORLD
Angrier

After the incident, Najwa never again stared let alone talked to him. When Gus Azmi greeted him, Najwa just nodded without looking at him. The small letters he used to write were never written by Najwa. Gus Azmi was tormented by Najwa's attitude. In class, Najwa was more silent, but he always provoked conversation with her.

"Qossiimmm...! what should I do with Najwa? He seems to be very angry with me" complained Gus Azmi.

"What is Gus Azmi wrong?" ask ustadz Qosim cuek.

"I don't know what I'm wrong? It's all because of yesterday's meeting with Ziza, she didn't say a word back then." Honest Gus Azmi.

"Yes natural lah.., maybe he realized that neng Ziza was so close to the njenengan. That's why he learned to stay away" explained Gus Azmi.

"You mean? Najwa suspects me of khiyanat?" gus Azmi asked, but ustadz Qosim only frowned at the mark of not knowing.

"Ziza is my relative, still family.., I have nothing to do with her." Honest Gus Azmi.

"But the spoiled attitude neng Ziza can make people think of another Gus, let alone you guys often walk together right?" Ustadz Qosim remembers.

"Yes, but he is like my own brother, so I often invite him to walk.", said Gus Azmi.

"But neng Ziza is halal to marry njenengan Gus, because there is no law of his nasab." The bright ustadz Qosim.

Ustadz Qosim's explanation made Gus Azmi aware of his attitude towards Ziza which was a little too close. Ziza is the same age as Najwa. Already puberty, it is not a child anymore as he used to look after her.

"Indeed sim, I was wrong.., I should have kept my attitude with Ziza, because we are both adults now." Gus Azmi realized his mistake.

"My advice is that Gus Azmi should apologize to Najwa, pity him! Maybe he will not stay long with his current attitude and start opening his heart again to njenengan, but the pain will continue to imprint if njenengan not explain in detail the relationship between njengan and neng Ziza." The bright ustadz Qosim.

"I have nothing to do with Ziza! What should I explain?" gus Azmi Protest.

"Tell me what you're feeling, don't let Najwa think Gus Azmi is playing with her love just to be close to Ziza's neng." Unmistakably.

"Women are made of crooked ribs, the genengan must be careful. Forced straightening can make her break." Added.

Gus Azmi thought for a moment contemplating the words of ustadz Qosim. It is true that Najwa was suspicious of Gus Azmi and Ziza's relationship, because they were very close. Even like sisters who take care of each other. But, when others see their relationship, they will definitely think they are lovers.

Gus Azmi is very sorry about his relationship with Ziza. He forgets that they have grown up and their closeness can cause slander. Najwa is not wrong if he is suspicious about their relationship, but Najwa also has no right to end their relationship without a decision from both parties.

"In the meantime take the cottage off, I'll long never see him again. I have to how qosiiiimmm...?" his weakness.

"Gus Azmi should move quickly, find a way to explain everything to Najwa. I'm worried that if I go on hut njenengan holiday yet explain everything, then Najwa will stop loving njenenengan."

"Why is that?" Gus Azmi protest.

"The longer he doesn't see the njenengan, the easier it will be to erase his feelings on njenengan.., let alone not long ago you bond, surely not many memories that burden your relationship." The bright ustadz Qosim.

"If the problem of the heart why are you so good at sim?" gus Azmi asked in surprise.

"Had it been.., indeed if the problem naji I lost to Gus Azmi. But, if love-love problems do not fight.. hehehe 😁" ustadz Qosim laughs proudly.

"But why don't you do it!" Gus Azmi beats the head of Ustadz Qosim.

"Maclum is Gus.., lose your favor!" sindir ustadz Qosim on Gus Azmi.

"Basic you!" Gus Azmi smiled lightly.

"But..., why?" Ustadz Qosim did not continue his words.

"But why?"ask Gus Azmi.

"Why would you prefer Najwa instead of Ziza? Though in any respect neng Ziza is superior to mbak Najwa, yes it is possible if the problem is beautiful, mbak Najwa has more than neng Ziza. But, neng Ziza was also quite beautiful from the others. Why did you choose Najwa? Even though he had long established a relationship with him, his character was already memorized. Butwhy? Why not Ziza?" Bright ustadz Qosim at length.

"That's what you don't understand sim, when it's time you'll know why." Gus Azmi smiled at the statement of his best friend.

"But why are you so concerned about Ziza? Don't you watch it all this time huh?" goda Gus Azmi's.

"Well, how dare I?" Ustadz Qosim tried to deny.

"OOO yes, this is Ziza hp you hold. Whatever you want to flap. Given Ziza can too, but please tell her I won't see her anymore. Say sorry yes" Gus Azmi's message.

"Why should I?" Ustadz Qosim was confused

"Ziza already knows that you are my best friend, so if she wants to be angry let you get angry! Hahaha 😂" Gus Azmi laughed wide.

"Basic! I'm always the victim" complained ustadz Qosim.

"Actually I'm afraid Najwa is angry again, I really don't want to lose her sim! Never mind, you're my representative. Tell him I'm sorry, "force Gus Azmi.

"But Gus, if neng Ziza refuses how?" ask ustadz Qosim.

"Leave it, whether he accepts it or not. What matters is that I won't see him again. If he's forcing me to call, just tell him I'm in college. Just find an excuse I shouldn't have to see him." Gus Azmi.

"Okay Gus" replied Ustadz Qosim agreed.

After the conversation, Gus Azmi did the only way to tell Najwa everything, by giving him a letter during the correction of the book. It was the last chance for him, because after that it had already entered the end of the semester and the activities were getting denser.

"May you not be absent tomorrow" Gus Azmi hoped.

***

Early in the morning Najwa had left for the madrasah, it turned out that Najwa also planned to give a letter to Gus Azmi. Before he came, Najwa put a letter on his desk. Wrapped in a permit from the madrasa, Najwa placed it after all the students entered the classroom. At that time there happened to be one of the students who did not enter, so it is not strange that there is a permit on his desk.

As usual after the greeting they prayed before beginning the lesson. During the correction of the book, usually Gus Azmi asked one of the students to read the meaning in front of the class and learn to explain it.

"Today's someone absent?" Ask Gus Azmi while opening a permit that turns out to contain a different letter.

"There's a Gus, Mila today a sick license!" answer one santri.

"What's this?" inwardly Gus Azmi and directly looked at Najwa as he read the front of the letter. Najwa who knew this instantly shook her heart.

"Ayow Rica read and explain in front of the class." Gus Azmi's Order.

"Yes Gus.., Aduuuhhh hopefully it will go well..," grumbled Rika, my dear friend Najwa.

Gus Azmi slowly opened the letter, taking a deep breath in hope that Najwa would not write a word that hurt him.

To Gus Azmi, the,

Earlier I was sorry Gus has not cared about the situation these days. But, to be honest, I was still too sick considering the events of that time. Sorry for being so busy in your relationship.

I know that Ziza is a close relative. But I don't like the bad attitude towards Ziza. I feel like I'm in the wrong place right now. I shouldn't have just harbored a taste for njenengan.

I retreat Gus, Ziza is more appropriate to accompany the njenengan than me. There is my mind taken advantage of in your relationship, but I don't think that's possible. Because, all this time I have been very attentive to me. Thank you for everything. For this hope and wonderful memories.

I quit not because of Ziza, but thanks to Ziza I came back to realize who I am and my position. I was a nobody, from the beginning I was conscious. But, the beauty of love makes me blind to it.

But yesterday when I was so close to Ziza, I realized. I am a nobody, I will be the chasm of your separation because of my love.

I'm sorry Gus Azmi.., not the intention of the heart to reject love. But I don't deserve all this.

Before this love deepens, let me back off Gus.

Again, I'm sorry....

Hail takdim Najwa Qumaira.

"Astaghfirullah.., Najwa..," muttered Gus Azmi.

Rika was still explaining in front of the class. Suddenly Gus Azmi asks her to stop and sits back down.

" Najwa!" Call Gus Azmi.

"Continue the description of Rika, others please collect her books one by one." Gus Azmi's Order.

With a trembling heart Najwa advanced in front of the class. Her eyes looked a little swollen, probably from crying last night after writing a letter to Gus Azmi.

His voice shook with the wound in his heart, Gus Azmi realized this but, there was another purpose why Najwa was asked to explain in front of the class.

Not long after Gus Azmi finished correcting the books of the santri, but Najwa was still not allowed to sit.

"You know your mistake?" Beware Gus Azmi suddenly. Najwa did not answer. He was downcast for fear that Gus Azmi was angry with him.

"Why did I tell you to explain?" gus Azmi.

"Don't know Gus" replied Najwa finally.

"You feel wrong?" ask Gus Azmi again. Najwa was still silent, but Gus Azmi suddenly approached him. Najwa was shocked because they were in front of the class, many students who were in the class.

"I'm sorry Gus if I'm wrong" Najwa pleaded.

"Gus Azmi is angry nie.., he is not usually angry." The whispers of santri.

"Where is your book?" Gus Azmi asked for force.

Najwa could not refuse.

"I've told you repeatedly, understand the contents.., don't just read the translation! If you don't understand, I'm free to explain first! " Gus Azmi begins to emotion.

"And you are Najwa!" Added.

"Yes Gus," Najwa was bowing.

"From yesterday I heard a description you just read and read! No understanding at all! Fox all that...!" Gus Azmi further increased his speech intonation.

"The semester even if you don't change, there's no tolerance anymore! This goes for all of you!"gus Azmi.

"Don't be fierce like this Gus, I'm afraid." The heart of Najwa.

"Najwa!" Bentak Gus Azmi's.

"Yes Gus" Najwa was so shocked that he once again yelled at Gus Azmi.

"Remember my words! Learning is not just reading, but understanding the contents, in the meaning implied in it. If you don't understand what it means and what its meaning is useless you say study!" Gus Azmi said firmly.

"Now sit!" His strict orders.

Najwa was so scared when Gus Azmi got angry, his heart ached from his clasping. Unknowingly her tears were dripping from being hurt by her harsh words.

"Patience is wa, it's okay." my friend Najwa tried to calm Najwa down.

"Yes, I know" Najwa tried to wipe away her tears but could not, her tears came back from remembering when she was with Ziza. Joking with her and laughing together, even Najwa imagined as she walked with Ziza along with her montor.

Madrasah bell reads sign of end of lesson. The Book of Najwa is still on Gus Azmi's table, left alone after he said his greetings.

Najwa's eyes were still very puffy from crying. Yesterday he was stuck between Ziza and Gus Azmi, now that he was angry with Najwa's decision, he could beat him in front of the class. Najwa was really hurt by his attitude.

"This is your book, come back?" tawar Rica.

"I still want to be here, rik, you just go back." Najwa Light.

"Do you want me to go to China?" Rika hesitated to leave Najwa in such a sad state.

"No need, let me be alone first. I want to reflect on all my mistakes." Honest Najwa.

"Well, if that's what you want.., I'll go back first yeah," said Rika.

"Yes,"

Rika eventually died by Najwa himself in the class. Najwa pondered for a long time, but there was only a shadow of hate when he remembered Gus Azmi with Ziza. Najwa does not accept the treatment of Gus Azmi who uses himself to get close to Ziza. Najwa believes Gus Azmi already knows that Ziza is rooming with him and tries to approach him only to make Ziza jealous.

"I hate you, Gus! Benciiii...! " Najwa's cry broke again when she remembered that.

"What's my fault for yelling at me in front of the class? Understand meaning and content? All those are just excuses to humiliate me in front of friends! I've been too sick Gus..., Sick...! Why do I have to experience all this, O God." complained Najwa.

"Allah.., if the servant has wrongly forgiven the servant, but do not torment the servant with this feeling, O Allah, the servant is not strong.

Long enough Najwa cried trying to calm himself and dampen his feelings. His eyes fell back after Najwa cried last night and did not sleep. His body felt limp and tired, but Najwa remembered that day was Najwa's schedule picket ndalem. He must go to Ndalem to carry out his duties.

Najwa got up from his seat, suddenly he remembered when Gus Azmi put a letter in his book just to express love. Najwa found it ridiculous why she easily accepted the love.

Najwa began to open the pages of his book, and there was more. The letter from Gus Azmi, Najwa was really shocked. And open the letter immediately.

To Dinda, though,

Najwa Qumaira's.

Dinda, I've tried so hard to talk to you, but you really don't care about me anymore. Are you so angry that at a glance you are not willing to look at me.

I realized I was wrong about Ziza. I shouldn't have done that with Ziza. But you don't know who Ziza is and why I'm so close to her.

Ziza is the son of my teacher and uncle of my brother. Since I was 7 years old, I've been taking care of Ziza, who was a baby. I love Ziza so much because she's already considered the same as my own sister. I was wrong, until now I still think of him as a child as before. Though he is your age, already puberty and adult.

I forgot to never limit our closeness because I loved her too much as a sister, nothing more.

Dinda, please don't be like this. I am tormented by your attitude. Every night I couldn't sleep well imagining how hurt you were because of me.

I'm sorry Dinda...,

I always wish that you would not love me. Don't give up on loving me just because of Ziza. He has no right to ruin our relationship.

Don't stay away from me, understand me. If I have more rights, there are many things I want to tell you. I'm really serious about our relationship. I promised not to see Ziza after this, and changed all my attitude towards her. You're Dinda's first, and I hope to be the last of my life.

We're still starting this relationship, don't just misunderstandings ruin everything. Dinda....

Forgive me for my imperfections about Ziza...,

Now that I realize, I was wrong. And I promise I won't do it again.

Dinda, no matter what happens I won't let you go and don't expect to get away from me. Before I work on our relationship, stay there, love me and keep my heart always on you....

Dinda, I love you.

The future mother of my children.

May our relationship always be maintained and diridhoi by Him. Aamiins.

Najwa screamed after reading the whole letter.

"Allahuakbar...!" Najwa's cries broke again.

"Gus Azmi.... Sorry..," Najwa fell limp.

"It turns out this is why he snapped at me today, because I was too quick to draw conclusions about him. I have been so wicked to him, forgive my servant, O Allah." cried Najwa.

"I have to what after this? there was no way I could meet him, surely he was very angry with me because of the letter I wrote.., O Allah.., guide you, please return his love for the servant of God." Najwa asked in his heart.

Najwa felt remorse for all his actions. Soon Najwa set out for the ndalem picket without changing clothes. He was very afraid of losing Gus Azmi.

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