Is There Love
Evades
The Part 18
“I will support you,” I assure you.
“Em.” Daffa nodded his head.
“Thank you for supporting me. I will change destiny this time, and will not give up just like that.” There was a faint smile on Daffa's lips, and I returned that smile.
“Thank you for treating me, but .. why are you here?” Daffa looked at me in wonder.
“I? Em ... I ..” I was confused as to what to answer. It is impossible if I tell Daffa the truth.
“Can't just pass right?” daffa asked cutting my words.
I shook my head with a faint smile, “It just so happened that my bracelet disappeared after I passed around here, so I looked for it.”
“Oooh, but ...” Daffa half-thought.
“Let's go to class, it's almost in,” invite me while glancing at my watch. I got up from my seat and made my appearance.
“Ah, yes right. Class is almost in, let's walk together.” Daffa moved from his seat. I didn't deny it, just a small nod.
*****
A week has passed about the incident in the laboratory space between me and Yelena, but until now I still remember. These few days I also do not know why it feels lazy to communicate with Mr. Gavin, even though many WA messages or calls come from him. I always reply to him briefly, and always say I am busy, or deliberately let go. It was nothing, but Yelena's insulting words made my mind keep thinking. I kept thinking about Gavin. If it goes deeper, Yelena does have a point. All this time I've been depending on Gavin's brother, he's been helping me a lot. And when others see it, they will most likely judge the same as Yelena. They'll say I used Gavin's brother, when he didn't. I never thought I'd get to know Gavin's brother under these circumstances. I never asked for his help either, but circumstances made him help me.
It rained heavily tonight around me. The cold was so felt to infiltrate the body. After I finished working on PR, I immediately hid myself under my thick blanket, hoping that the cold I felt would be reduced. Suddenly the shadow when I had dinner with Gavin's brother at the meatball stall came stirring my mind. I closed my eyes for a moment, but the memory was getting stronger. I opened the blanket that covered my body, and then sat down. I saw my phone screen light up with a vibration. Turns out there were some messages coming in from Gavin's brother.
“How are you doing?”
“Are you okay?”
“Why not answer my call?”
“Are you mad at me?” There were tears dripping as I read the messages from Gavin's brother.
I sighed for a moment, “I'm sorry, but it seems better if our relationship is like this. I can't continue to depend on you, and trouble you.”
“I don't want to be called again to take advantage of others. It's my fault, I shouldn't have known youu.” I put it in my heart. My tears were dripping more and more, and I couldn't help it from dripping. But deep down, it's not really about Gavin's brother that makes me feel so sick. But it was Yelena's contempt that also said that I used to deny Kenzhi. My chest hurts a lot when I remember it. Kenzhi did help me a lot to protect me, even though I was rude to him. He was there and by my side all the time. But that doesn't mean I use it. I never asked him to do everything, I didn't force him to do that. He did it of his own volition.
I wiped my tears, and tried to catch my breath to make it quieter. I turned my eyes away and I accidentally saw the music box Kenzhi gave me on my study table. I quickly grabbed it, then I opened the music box, and a little Cinderella doll came out dancing in circles along with the melody of the music box.
“Kenzhi,” muttered slowly.
“How are you doing now? How are you doing? Are you okay?” I slowly stared at the music box I was holding.
“It used to be you who always said I looked like Cinderella, but now no one says anything like that. No more saying I'm pretty like Cinderella after you left.” My tears kept dripping, wetting the clothes I was wearing.
“I miss you Zhi. I miss you,” I murmured.
“I also miss you.” I saw Kenzhi standing in front of me. There was a faint smile on his lips.
“Kenzhi.” My water flows faster.
“You will remain beautiful like Cinderella, until any time.” He looked at me seriously.
“Why did you say that? Why?” my many.
“Because only I can say that. Not anyone else,” he replied.
“Why Zhi? Answer me? Why are you silent?” I continued to question him with many questions, but the figure suddenly disappeared without giving me an answer. After that figure disappeared, I could not stem my cries anymore. My chest ached and my breathing became irregular.
*****
Exactly one month today I kept avoiding Gavin's brother. I rarely get messages from him. Meeting at school was rare, as I kept away from him. Where I saw Brother Gavin from afar, I immediately turned around. I always hide when he's looking for me.
I glanced at my watch, and I saw that the needle was still pointing at half-three. I rushed to the library. Today, I got a notification that there will be a Biology review next week, so I decided after school to stop by the library for books that I can make additional material.
“Kak Gavin.” I stopped my steps in front of the library door when I saw that Gavin was looking for a book in the library. I slowly infiltrated the library looking for books, unbeknownst to Mr. Gavin. My eyes watch Gavin's movements, looking for a book. In my heart I wish she didn't know I was here. Not long after I saw Brother Gavin coming out of the library, I breathed a sigh of relief. Now, I can search for books more freely with a calm state. After finding the book I was looking for, I quickly exited the library.
“Kak Gavin.” I was shocked when I saw Brother Gavin suddenly appear in front of me when I exited the library. Our faces almost collided because our current position was very close.
“Why Sister is here?” I took my steps back a few steps.
“Why are you avoiding me?” tanyakanya. Brother Gavin is advancing his pace.
“I? I ... I don't dodge.” I tried to be calm, trying to cover up the nervousness I was feeling right now.
“I told you I've been busy lately, right? So, that means I'm not avoiding.” I'm trying to find an excuse.
“You've never been like this before. Why are you doing this to me?” Brother Gavin looked at me seriously, he brought his face closer.
“What does Big Brother mean? I don't understand.” I pulled my back, trying to get away from Gavin's gaze.
“My answer, what's my fault? Why do you always stay away from me? Why do you often avoid seeing me? My message is rarely answered. Do you have a problem with me?” He now asks me a lot of questions.
“Ti .. no. That's all not true,” my elak.
“Then why? Give me one reason to be all the answers to my questions.” Brother Gavin kept pushing me. Every time I step back, Gavin keeps moving forward.
“I just want to be alone,”.
“I ... I want to be alone first, please understand.” I looked at Brother Gavin seriously.
“But why? Why should I stay away from me? You kind of covered something from me, and you've been quieting me for a month like this.” His eyes seemed to be asking for clear information from me. I was confused, I couldn't answer anymore. There was no way that I would have said everything that Yelena told me back then.
“I'm sorry, but leave me alone first. In the meantime, I don't want to hang out with a lot of people. I ... I want to find tranquility,” I explained.
“You lied, I already know everything.” Gavin smiled at me.
“This is all because Yelena isn't?” I just kept quiet to hear Gavin's question.
“How can he know,” I thought.
"Don't worry, there's me for you." Brother Gavin convinced me.
“So, don't avoid me anymore. Everything's gonna be fine. Don't change anything else, don't silence me again.” Brother Gavin said it in a soft tone. His eyes looked very sincere, and it touched me. My tears welled up on my eyelids, there were memories of Yelena's humiliation towards me that time plaguing my mind.
“Please, don't avoid me,” the door. Brother Gavin is now holding my hand tightly.
“Kak .. I ... I .. I don't mean to use Big Brother all this time. I ... never expected us to be familiar with this condition. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” My tears dripped, and long ago became a cry.
“Do not apologize, you are not at all wrong. We didn't plan all this, but God's scenario set everything up. Others never know the truth because they are not living it. We who know, also understand. Stop blaming yourself, don't think about the opinions of others.” Brother Gavin wiped my tears. He tried to calm me down, also gave me advice.
"Okay," he continued.
“Em.” I nodded slowly, then smiled a little.
