Is There Love
Refraining

Part 17's

The morning sunlight that infiltrated in the middle of the\-middle of the bedroom window curtains blinded my eyes that were closed. I slowly opened my eyes and then moved from my sleep. Uh, it feels like my body is more comfortable now, the fatigue that I felt yesterday now I don't feel anymore. Quickly, I was getting ready to leave for school. It does not take much time, now I am standing in front of a mirror while tidying up my appearance. Do not forget also I give a thin makeup polish so as not to look pale. After making sure everything was tidy, I rushed down towards the dining room as usual. Once there, I prepared my favorite jam bread and a glass of milk.

“Wah, it looks delicious,” I said as I dragged the chair facing the table to the back a few centi.

“Hey, sit down first. Don't jump like that,” scolds mom who came from the kitchen when she saw me eating while standing up.

“Hehe, yes yes. Sorry,” my mouth and then sit down.

“I'm hungry, and it tastes really good.” I smiled as I glanced at my mother.

“Aitsports. Hence, do not be hard to eat. If hungry like this, just want to eat,” said the mother advised.

“Iya-iya Mother, will not. It's just, I limit my portion of food. I don't want to be fat,” I replied with a whimper.

“Oh yes, how is Gavin doing now?” ask mom while dragging the chair facing me to the back a few stops and then sit down.

“Emm, yes, that's it. I can't explain,” answered me and then sipped a glass of milk.

“Can't explain how? You are with him, yes do not know exactly his condition?” ask the curious mother. The hue of his face was very clear, there were curious strokes, and also worry.

“You should be nice to him, he has helped a lot. Don't treat him harshly, like you did with Kenzhi. He is a nice person, also polite.” Mother counsels me. I who was polishing jam on bread became silent when I heard mother's words. There was a sudden gurgle, when the name Kenzhi was called. I remembered about my abusive treatment of Kenzhi. My mind is now claustrophobic because of those memories. My heart aches when I remember it. I feel so sorry I ever acted that way. If only I could repeat from the beginning again, I would not repeat the same.

I sighed for a moment, “Not going to Mom, she was a good friend to me.” then smiled broadly at mom.

“Ya, great. Don't forget that,” mother's advice.

“Iya,” I replied in a convincing tone.

*****

I walked leisurely through the corridor while sipping with satisfaction this fresh morning air. After a long walk, my class was finally seen from a distance. In front of the class, Yelena was standing with a less than pleasant look. It was as if he was waiting for someone. A few seconds later he turned his head towards me, and with a cynical look he approached me. I just kept quiet, didn't understand what Yelena meant. Roughly, he pulled me and took me to the laboratory. I became increasingly clueless with Yelena's intentions, but she looked angry at me.

“Wah, it looks like it can move on yes?’ suddenly tanyanya.

“What do you mean? I don't understand,” I replied.

“Do not pretend!” yells. My heart was beating faster at Yelena's cry.

“Now, answer me.” He looked at me cynically with glaring eyes.

“What is your relationship with brother Gavin?” I was shocked when I heard the question.

“Why did he ask about this?” my thinking.

“We're just friends,” I replied briefly.

“Friends?” He smiled wryly, “No way. Answer me honestly!!” his insistence.

“We're just friends, no more.” I'm affirming.

“If it's a friend, why is it so close? Don't lie.” I'm more precisely being interrogated. But for what? I really don't understand.

“Yelena, I'm really telling the truth. What do you mean interrogate me like this?” I'm back to asking.

“Still don't understand too? Don't be a hypocrite you Ryn.” He now says I'm a hypocrite, but I'm still trying to be calm, and ask nicely.

“Do not carelessly talk you Yelena. What do you mean, call me a hypocrite?” I can't be calm anymore.

“Don't suddenly be stupid in front of me Ryn.” Yelena looked at me with a wry smile.

“You used to be so good at using Kenzhi, that he was crazy about you. Even if I approach him, he still chooses you. And now, after Kenzhi's gone, you're approaching Gavin's brother. Wh-wh-what for? Just escapism? Looking for mercy? Or just as a tool? Like you used to treat Kenzhi.” I was very surprised to hear Yelena say, she humbled me so much this time. My heart was pounding, my body was shaking, now I am completely bloodied. He could say something like that. Who is he? Dare to judge me like this.

“Listen to me carefully, I will not stay silent if my brother you use like Kenzhi. He's a good man, and it's not appropriate that he be with you. Never expect you to have more relationships than friends. Because it will not be possible,” threatened him. My fingers were clenched, I was very annoyed with Yelena. I want to punch him.

“Yelena, enough. I never once wanted to take advantage of Gavin's brother, or Kenzhi. Please, do not comment at will if you do not know the actual condition,” I said and left.

“Hey! Stop, I'm not done talking!” it's loud, but I don't mind it. My chest was in pain, it hurt so much to hear Yelena's humiliation. I did not feel my tears dripping, I quickly wiped it. I ran towards the school field, not far from there, there was a big tree and I immediately hid there. I think it's a suitable place for me to vent my annoyance at hearing Yelena's humiliation earlier. Getting there, I sat back and blew away all my frustration. My tears were pouring down the uniform I was wearing. My memory of Yelena's humiliation did not go out of my mind, so I continued to feel annoyed. It feels sorry too, why did I not fist his lips.

“Aaaahh, why it's like this!” I heard someone grumbling. I quickly wiped my tears and sighed for a moment. I got up from my seat and looked for the source of the sound I heard.

“Daffa,” muttered when I saw Daffa standing not far from me. His face looks like a frustrated person. Appearance that usually looks neat, now disheveled.

“Aaaaaaaaaa,” he shouted while flailing his hand to the tree in front of him. Quickly I approached him.

“Daf,” my handkerchief from behind.

“Ryn.” Daffa looked back, and was surprised to see me.

“Since when are you here?” tanyakanya.

“Since. What the hell's going on? Why are you like this?” I asked back.

“No, nothing. Just a small matter, and personal,” he replied. His face was like hiding something, like I didn't want to know.

Daffa was silent for a moment, “I have to go. Sorry, can't linger here,” he turned his back on me and walked away.

“Do not avoid me.” I held her hand, preventing her from leaving. Daffa was silent, not saying a word.

“Please let go, I have to go,” the door.

“Why? Does this have anything to do with Sasa?” many spontaneous. I don't know why I suddenly said it.

“Why are you asking like that?” Daffa turned to look at me, there was a hue of anger in his gaze.

“I ... I just guessed,” I replied. After hearing my answer, the look of anger on Daffa's face diminished.

“Your hand is injured,” I said when I saw the back of his finger scuffing and bleeding.

“Come with me, let me treat.” I pulled out his hand, while walking towards the chair that was a few meters to my right. Incidentally, in the bag there is a P3K drug that I always carry. I can take advantage of this situation to ask about his relationship with Sasa which lately looks less good.

“Tell me, what really happened?” I was a little pushy.

“Nothing. I ... I mean there's nothing to tell.” Now Daffa turned his face away.

“See me Daf,” my door.

“You're obviously hiding something with me. Tell me, what happened?” my force. I think I'm very curious.

“Why are you forcing me?” tanyakanya.

“I am your friend Daf,” I replied then sighed shortly, “But it seems that it is no longer. You don't think of me as a friend.”

“Why talk like that? I will continue to be a friend, until anytime.” Daffa was surprised to hear my answer.

“Then tell me what happened? Does this have anything to do with Sasa?” my many. Daffa was silent for a moment, then nodded slowly.

“Why are you quieting each other? Did you guys fight?” my many. Daffa was silent.

“You and Sasa are my best friends. We've been friends for a long time, and I know so much about you. Not usually you guys like this,” I said.

“I don't want to interfere in your personal affairs, but please, don't destroy the friendly relations between us. You guys covered everything up from me, too. I don't understand at all, why can't you consider me,”.

“Ryn, it's not like that, it's so complicated.” Daffa tried to give a reason.

“Why? What is this about feeling?” many guessed. Daffa nodded slowly.

“My answer, do you have feelings for Sasa?” my many. Daffa was silent, he seemed like he wanted to answer, but there was some diversity.

“Daf, answer me.” I'm affirming.

“I will ask once again, if not answer it I will decide if it is true.” I was forced, not like anymore, but it was forced.

“I .. yes. I have feelings for Sasa. I have had it for a long time, since we were Junior High,” he replied.

“Then what's the problem? Doesn't Sasa also have the same feeling?” my many.

“He does have the same feeling as me, and I know that very well. But .. I can't be with him. Our relationship is only a friend, and now it's over,” he replied. There was a disappointed look on Daffa's face.

“What do you mean? Explain it with detail. I don't understand the problem.” I'm confused now about this relationship between my two best friends that I don't know.

“My relationship with Sasa is only Ryn's best friend, nothing more. What can I expect from this relationship?” Daffa looked at me seriously.

“You won't get what you expect if you just shut up. You always treat Sasa more than your best friend, but you never express your true feelings. You ...” My words stopped when Daffa cut my words.

“Because I could never. I've been treating him wrong, I've been misbehaving him all this time. I shouldn't have treated her like that, I. I've hurt her feelings and heart so much now,”. I don't really understand what he's saying. His words are unclear.

“Pronounce how you feel now, before you lose it.” I'm giving you advice.

“I will never be able to, the time is too late. Now we have each other's lives with others,”.

“You mean, you already have another woman, and Sasa also has another man?” my many. I was shocked when I heard Daffa's words. Daffa nodded slowly, and I took that as a justifying answer.

“Why? You like each other, but why be with someone else?” manya curious.

“I ... I'm already engaged,” Daffa replied in a trembling tone.

“What! A fiancee? But you are still Daf High School, this is still too young for an age like ours.” I can't believe it.

“I was forced, my father betrothed me to his co-worker's son. I was forced to accept it because there was an agreement. My father betrothed me because he wanted to strengthen the business relationship he built with his coworkers. If I refuse, then I will humiliate my entire family, especially my father. My family's relationship with my father's co-worker's family is very close, and it's been established since I was a child.” Daffa gave an explanation.

“Then from that, I was always silent. I always treated Sasa more than a best friend because I wanted a relationship further than that. I've always thought a thousand times about how I feel, but I can't. I have always hesitated to dare to reveal it because of this matchmaking. And now, Sasa already had a better man than me. There is nothing more I can expect from my relationship with Sasa, except as a friend.” Daffa explained at length, and I could only keep quiet. I can no longer question him, nor speak. I became confused, and now that my mind was deadlocked, there was no idea to just provide a solution.

“Women who were with me when in the UKS it .. she was my fiancee. And the man who was with Sasa at that time was the one who replaced my position,” continued Daffa.

“Then, I was always afraid, if someday something like this would happen. I'm afraid, if I'm gonna lose her, I'm so scared. In fact, it all really happened. Now that I lost it, our relationship is also over.” I saw tears welling up in her eyelids, but not dripping. I became sorry for Sasa and Daffa.

I sighed for a moment, “No Daf, it is not too late. There is still time before there is an official bond. Use this opportunity to fight, you can't give up like this. Who you plan to marry, but you don't know who you're getting married to. I mean, it's just fiancee, there's no marriage bond between the two of you yet. You can change your destiny while you try. Don't give up Daf, I believe, you can do it.”