There You Are Within You
Nine

Second by minute rolling..

I'm still here..

In this place..

Still alone, it had never been able to repel the shadow of the wound..

I'm still trying so hard to forget you here..

***

Today Vania is off work, if most people spend the weekend by taking a walk in the mall, spending time with loved ones, hangouts with friends, and other fun things.

Unlike Vania, he prefers to stay in the room. Kalopun wants to spend time outside he would prefer a place that nuanced nature.

For example today.. Vania is in one of the waterfall destinations. Seeking to unite himself with nature, seeking tranquility and peace for himself.

Like water falling from a height, then flowing calmly as if he had never fallen. If Vania could be like that, it would be like a waterfall that falls from the highest place but still flows calmly even though it crashes.

The sound of the falling water became the flow of how Vania wanted to make peace with herself. I want to be a normal person like everyone else.

One would not understand what wounds Vania was trying to receive.

"Sad, sick, angry, disappointed, hated and vengeful.. Let's make peace.. I accept all of you, I will be friends with you. I'm tired of fighting you all, I don't have the strength to do that.. Be friends with me so that I can heal from this wound.." Vania put both her legs into the flowing waterfall. Feel how nature is so calm even though it is only hurt by humans.

"I accept all the feelings that are in me, I want to make peace with you. There's a feeling I haven't found, I want to be happy, I want to be calm. Help me find that taste.. A feeling I want to make a friend too.. I love myself.. I believe there is me in me." said Vania, closing her eyes, feeling the sound of falling water, feeling the flow of water that hit her feet.

For a while he felt at peace, his heart then asked Vania to go home. Take a break from everything that makes him tired. Start appreciating yourself if you love yourself.

The next second Vania followed her heart, her body she brought home from that place. A place that at least gave him a glimmer of peace. Let go of all the fatigue and all the emotions lodged in his heart.

And when he arrived at the boarding room, suddenly his soul returned to become a moody Vania. He again became himself that he did not understand, But just now Vania felt a Peace.

Then her heart re-ruled, telling Vania to throw away all the things that made her constantly remember the wound herself. By itself Vania's body walked towards the polar portrait that was attached to that wall. Pull them out one by one, putting them in a box to throw them away as far as possible.

For the first time Vania complied again, retracting the polar portrait, putting it in a box, but not to throw it away. Vania prefers to keep it in the corner of the room. Afraid that one day she will miss him again.

Jeez Vania How can it be healed if the intention is only half-and-half!!