Devotion (A Devotion)
Corpus Luteum
Cyst, hearing that name my heart shrinks. A disease that, for women like me, makes the heart feel like it's in the deepest troughs of the ocean floor. Dark and painful due to sharp rocks. Especially hearing the word operation.
It feels terrible that this body should be on a cold, frozen operating table. It was enough to enjoy that terrible space at the birth of Izal and Ivan. I had enough of the pain of this body-wrenching surgery a few hours after the action, and the pain relief began to diminish the side effects. Pain is unforgiving.
Do I have to continue my intention to conceive a girl? If you can't give a daughter, what if Mas Hadi is close to Caca? There was something undue from the way Mas Hadi spoke to Caca and Nofi. However, I did not want to make that feeling develop into a fear. Especially hearing the laparoscopic action that Doctor Melisa mentioned. The action should be taken immediately, if it has shown symptoms are not good on my body.
I haven't learned much more about this laparoscopy. According to Dr. Melisa, only a small incision in the abdomen as many as three points to insert the camera and assistive devices. I'll ask Dr. Melisa again when I check again. To be clearer. Doubt and anxiety began to haunt, if what I suffered was really an illness that had to be done surgery. Fearful.
All night this week I spent in agitation. Restless waiting for menstruation that never arrives, fret feeling body pain and cramps in the lower abdomen, also pelvic pain unbearable. Pain relief from Doctor Melisa only lasts a few hours. After that, the pain came no matter when the time, morning, day, night, whenever he wanted to torture me. My stomach started to feel nauseous often. I have no appetite, can only drink milk and a little snack. Could be this skinny body.
On the 6th night, I couldn't sleep. My body has a fever, although not high temperatures make me restless. I spent the night reading articles to increase my knowledge.
By typing the keyword ‘kista’, then appear various health articles recorded in the browser search button. I looked at the article one by one, then chose one and pressed the phone screen a little longer so that the article opened.
[Do You Have Ovarian Cysts? Find Out the Symptoms Here
Each woman has two ovaries that release an egg each month in turn. Sometimes cysts (small fluid-filled sacs) can develop in one of the ovaries. You may have experienced it without knowing it. Many women have a cyst at least once during their lives. However, it is generally painless and harmless. In fact, these ovarian cysts can go away on their own without the need for treatment.
However, what needs to be watched out for is when these cysts do not disappear, even getting bigger, and rupture. This type of cyst can usually cause symptoms of ovarian cysts and make you uncomfortable. There are two types of ovarian cysts that you need to know, namely: 1.) Functional ovarian cyst. Cysts that develop due to part of the menstrual cycle. This type of cyst is harmless and easy to go away on its own. This is the most common type of cyst, 2.)Pathological ovarian cysts. These cysts develop due to abnormal cell growth. Usually these cysts cause symptoms and need special treatment to deal with them. This type of cyst can be benign or malignant (cancerous).
What are the symptoms of ovarian cysts? In general, small ovarian cysts do not cause any symptoms and can go away on their own. However, large, ruptured, never-ending ovarian cysts can cause you to feel uncomfortable and cause some symptoms, such as:1). Lower abdominal pain (pelvic pain), which can come and go, and can spread to the lower back and thigh area, 2.) Pelvic pain before and after menstruation, 3.) Irregular menstruation, can even be painful, heavier, or lighter than usual, 4.) Pain and discomfort in the lower abdomen during sexual intercourse (dyspareunia), 5.) Stomach feeling depressed, 6.) Feeling bloated or swollen in the stomach, 6.) Difficulty defecating or pain during bowel movements, 7.) More frequent urination due to pressure on the bladder or you have difficulty emptying the bladder, 8.) Feeling very full after eating only a little, 9.) Nausea, vomiting, or pain in the breast, as felt during pregnancy.]
I read the article over and over again, making sure I don't read it wrong. Moreover, the article is from a health site led by a trusted doctor. All at once, the lower abdomen felt countless pains. It felt like it was being pulled by a very strong rope. I curled up to endure the pain.
The next morning I could not take Mas Hadi to the terrace to say goodbye before work. He also, getting ready to leave immediately after I heavily served him breakfast.
“Tuh, I told you. Don't get pregnant. Is old. Not believing. Trus, if it hurts like this, who's having trouble finally?” gerutu Mas Hadi before leaving.
I could only smile wryly at her, then calm down as usual when I heard a bad sentence from her. “Subhanallah.”
My eyes are yellowing. Hands and feet feel like tingling. The pull inside the inner abdomen felt increasingly stronger. My body temperature is rising. The nausea that appeared made me rise from sleep to spit out all the contents that entered my stomach. Slowly tiptoed withstanding the urge from inside the stomach, I went to the kitchen sink.
“Hoek!” This morning food came out in a state that was no longer intact. Not once did I spit it out.
“Hoek! Hoek! Hoek!” The greenish-yellow liquid was the end of my suffering that morning.
I cleaned the mouth of the leftovers with tengan wet with tap water. A gurgling sound rattled the movements of my hands. Unable to hold my own body weight, it felt like everything was swaying. I stumbled back and sat on the kitchen floor.
There's no one. The kids have gone to school. I'm alone. How does it feel to be pregnant? But Dr. Melisa says this isn't pregnant. The picture of three points in the vicinity of the uterus shown, can be sure not an embryo.
With a step I returned to the room, slowly breaking down. Kukabari Mas Hadi to convey my condition. Hope he gets home soon and takes me to the nearest IGD.
[Mas, I lemes. Rape. It's not strong.] I wrote in the WA message.
I'm waiting for a reply from Mas Hadi. Many times I open a chat, there is no sign of my message being replied. In the last sighted setting, it was detected an hour ago before my message was sent. Maybe I'm busy, comfort my heart.
Cramps are getting stronger every time I give this body. If you wait for Mas Hadi to come home, it will still be late afternoon or evening if there is overtime. Is it good that I go alone? I wonder which is better. Go by yourself in a taxi. If anything, it can be handled faster.
*****
“Doctor Melisa is on leave for a week, how about another doctor, Mom?”
I had to go to the hospital myself. It was not a deal first, because the pain was unbearable I chose to go directly to the hospital without telling Mas Hadi.
The security guard greeted me in a wheelchair as soon as I got out of the taxi with a trembling body enduring the pain. My body doesn't touch the ground.
The man in the dark blue uniform, drove me to the IGD room. The guard nurse came over and recorded my identity. I sent you a letter of introduction from Doctor Melisa, apparently she does not exist. The nurse offered me to see Doctor Titin. I concur.
Through Doctor Titin, nurses get directions to perform some actions.
“Bu, inpatient only yes. Waiting for lab results. It has been a week of fever, why do not you check when it is 3-5 days hot. Don't you fear DB, Mom?”
I smiled weakly watching the nurse put on the inpus and checked the condition of my body that felt like it was floating.
[Mas, I'm at RS. Columbia, Calibanteng. Please leave the children if they come home from school at two o'clock, yes]
****
