Devotion (A Devotion)
Embryos
Sickened. I am sick and hate my husband's smile. To me, that smile was like the grin of a wild wolf in a dark forest with the rustling wind rustling in the wind, terrifying. Her eyes were sparkling happily, incarnating the color of the saga.
“Happy go with Nofi?” I couldn't help but get angry at her reaction.
“Opaan anyway, the nights make a storm. I slept again!” annoyed sergeant.
Moments later, the man I called ‘Mas’ since marriage, again grabbed my body trying to continue sleeping.
“Try to tell me again, how was your dream? Where am I going? Same who?”
If I carry a beam, I hit him in the head so he can quietly ask me about the details of the scene in my dream. It was so happy that he heard that story. Huh! “No!” I turned my body to the wall.
“Come, story dong,” rayunya.
“Apaan, hell, Mas! Dream like that was told over and over again,” my sergeant riled up. “Udah, I want to sleep.”
Mas Hadi did not go to sleep immediately. He was busy with his phone as usual. I don't give a shit. Tomorrow the kids go to school, I have to get up early. Taking care of three children without a housekeeper, it was very draining of my energy.
That night's dream haunted my days for a week. Like the slide-slide presentation, the dream is clearly depicted in the subconscious. In every activity I did, the memory focused on the scene of Mas Hadi so excited to hear the dream I was telling.
After a week, Mas Hadi did not talk about the dream again. I'm back on the plan to have a daughter. I started with a food diet program that supports production***** X, ******* female carrier. I enthusiastically prepare interesting menus of foods that contain a lot of acid and reduce alkaline food ingredients.
In the next month, the period I was waiting for never came. My heart's blossoming. What I've been waiting for all this time, has almost materialized before my eyes. I hope that what has been done brings results. Pregnant daughter to Mas Hadi.
“Mas, I'm late, haven't been out for a week?” I said sulking.
We were sitting down for dinner. The kids went into the room. Vian chose to read the book, Izal preferred to draw. Adi did a lot of schoolwork. I don't turn on the television at night, except weekends.
“What's not out yet?” pekik Mas Hadi.
Duh, time doesn't understand anyway? “Haid, I haven't menstruated!” pekikku full of excitement.
“You don't take the Pill anymore?” his tone was a little disappointed.
“Lho, I'm going to get pregnant. Yes I don't drink, lah.”
His face was full of dislike. “Do not get pregnant!”
My throat was about to answer that sentence. “If I'm really pregnant how?”
“Just don't get pregnant!” riled up, Mas Hadi left me alone at the dinner table.
I cleaned the dinnerware in silence. Mas Hadi chose to move and sit in the living room, again busy with his cellphone. I continued to dress up in the room.
Suddenly, something jerked from the bottom of my stomach. I'm appalled. The longer it took, the movement in my stomach caused a stiff feeling. When I move a little, something gets stuck. My abdominal muscles feel pulled forcibly, cramping.
“Mas! Mas!” yells restrained. The pain was getting worse as I shouted.
Mas Hadi came with a huff. “What the hell? Make a fuss!”
Stunned at the answer, I chose to endure the pain myself. Trained, I laid my body down and tried to straighten it out. Can't do. My stomach hurts when this body is stretched out. I tilted my body to the right, then breathed a sigh of relief. The taste is slightly reduced.
Withstand the body, I can keep the pain. However, holding a disappointed heart with the husband's own sentence, it felt even more painful. True a saying that says, “tongue is very small and light, but it can lift you to a higher degree, or drop you to the lowest degree.” Only the lowly say no to others.
‘Love, forgive him yes!’ my heart sounds tasteless.
The next day, there was something uncomfortable about my body. Cold sweat drips without cause at the top of the head. Cold sweaty hands at all times. Cramps in the stomach appear every few minutes. My eyes are yellowing.
“Yes check, tho!” mas Hadi's advice before leaving for work.
“Register first, later tonight check,” command.
“Anterin yes?”
“Ya.”
The man went to work after I kissed the back of his hand.
*****
In front of Doctor Melisa, I was again lying on the examination bed. Monitor turned on. Camera set up.
Doctor Melisa's face looks tense looking at the screen 17 inch ornate logo letter manufacturers who produce it. He turned the camera around in my stomach. Amusingly. Different from the examination last month, this time the time used by Doctor Melisa is longer.
“This is something, Mom. I don't know if this is an embryo. If this is an embryo, it is not attached to the uterus, but outside the uterus. Definitely not good. More specifically, use the inside camera. How?”
“Cute aja, Doc. Which is good.”
“Whed schedule when?”
“Sunday ago, Doc.”
“Before experiencing this?”
“Numbered, Doc.”
“Hmm ...” Doctor Melisa keeps moving the camera to see the inside of my uterus. He corrected the location of the glasses to clarify his vision. The oriental-faced woman pressed a button. Come out the tape inside my womb.
After tidying up my clothes, I sat down with Mas Hadi in front of Doctor Melisa who was endlessly observing the recording. Time and time again he made sure of the black and white curls on a small piece of paper.
“Bu, try to pay attention to this.”
I'm trying to guess what Dr. Melisa has pointed out. Can't do. I was just listening to what the woman wearing the clean white parking lot described.
“This, a kind of cyst, is located outside the uterus. There are three pieces, the size is about one centi-meter. Mother usually menstruates, sick or not in the abdomen?”
I'm shaking.
“Linner parts?”
I shook my head again. “Not sick at all, Doc. Just last night until this morning, it hurt like hell. Cramps.”
“We wait for the next two months. If the mother's period is not smooth, or feels unbearable pain, this cyst should be removed immediately.”
So fast Doctor Melisa's sentence slid, I didn't have time to keep it longer in memory.
“That's to say, Doc?”
The woman with the pretty face and narrow eyes, paused for a while, then continued the explanation. “I do not know this cyst that should be taken immediately, or the functional type that can shed with menstruation. I'll look carefully in two or three months. If normal, it may be a functional cyst. However, if menstruation is not smooth, and it hurts so much. Check it out, don't wait any longer. Functional cysts are the most common type of cyst, as small, fluid-filled sacs grow. This type of cyst does not affect fertility, you can still get pregnant. The presence of functional cysts can indicate that a woman is in fertile period. Functional cysts can disappear on their own, do not require special care.”
That night, I came home with an erratic heart. The embryo from****** X that I expected to be present in my womb, is just an illusion. The fact that I must face in the next two to three months, I must be vigilant about the condition of my body.
“If the dangerous and painful type, it should be removed. Here I give you a letter of introduction. In times of emergency, so that it can be dealt with immediately. Later we lift with laparoscopy only.”
Doctor Melisa's explanation gets carried away in sleep, replacing the nightmares that these few weeks haunt.
