Devotion (A Devotion)
Devotion

“Mother, be careful!” shouted the youngest child sitting on my left.

Surprised by the cry of the curly-haired boy, I forcefully stepped on the brake pedal. The speed of the new car stopped a few meters after the mark line, right in the middle of the crossroads. After I realized I erased the tears in trembling.

The sound of the horn blurting out. The screeching and roar of the machine that was forced to stop suddenly startled itself. My body took a few seconds.

The vehicle from the opposite direction and which was about to veer stopped right in front of our car. Temptation and insults came out of their mouths, stuck in the open window.

“Guoblok! Yen ra iso numpak, ojo ning ndalan gedhe!,” exciting pick-up car drivers who transport electronic goods.

‘Stupid! If you can't drive, don't be on highway’, that's what it means. Very rude sounding to me. Not to mention the swearing of other drivers who were forced to stop suddenly, making this ear red.

I can only say sorry when I open the window. I put on a smile full of guilt. This can be very dangerous for other drivers. Thankful they can still control the vehicle. If not, I might not be able to cry anymore.

Once the situation was under control, they stepped aside to give me a way. However, the swearing still sounded faint. Upset by the chaotic nature of the vehicle, they blamed each other. I continued the pace of the vehicle slowly and pulled over to calm the heart.

“Allahu Rabbi, thank you for giving me the opportunity to breathe again,”.

A rare life opportunity that I must use well. I can't imagine if the vehicle that was milling earlier couldn't control its speed. Of course, the small red car gift from Mas Hadi is already crumbled by the cars.

The police on duty at the Post came with a friendly face. The man in the brown uniform approached while chewing food. His mouth did not stop moving. He knocked on the glass door asking me to open it.

“Good morning, Mom. Mom has been through a red light. Please show his SIM and STNK,” command police named Raharja friendly. The name is based on the uniform she wears.

With the condition still shaking, I opened the bag to look for the file requested by the police. ‘Duh! Where did those two things go?’ rfor me in my heart. When I'm in such a hurry, I can't find it.

“I wait in Post, yes, Bu.” The man stepped into the Police Station after the SIM and STNK I gave him.

I went to the Post to solve the problem. My heart was erratic, causing my steps to be shaken. Angry, disappointed, and now shocked because almost our lives are in danger.

Izal I left it in the car. Face deathly. Give her water so she can come back from her surprise."

“Mother caught by police?” tanyanya fear.

“It's okay, wrong mom. Adek here first, wait for Mom, yes!” I clearly give understanding.

That plain face nodded. Lordy! I could still see him smiling, though he was worried that he could not hide it from the glare of his eyes.

I chose the option for another two weeks hearing after being given an understanding of what traffic laws I had violated. I was wrong, to argue how? I don't want to cause any trouble anyway. I just want to get home, and calm down.

After dealing with the police, I continued my journey home. Siliwangi Road to Jakarta crowded vehicles from Surabaya direction. Large trucks are traveling at medium speed. Inter-city buses are empty without passengers.

“Mother, alright, right?” ask my youngest man after arriving home.

A tone of message going into the phone is heard. The flat object lying on the dressing table beside the bed was just a glance. I want to calm down.

A few minutes later the phone rang. Ah, maybe Mas Hadi. Lazily raised, I buried my face into the pile of pillows, then shouted loudly. May pain and tightness be vented behind the thing made of foam.

The phone rang repeatedly. I had to get up and see who was calling. It turned out that the Hospital reported that the operation would begin soon, but no family member signed the action file.

[Please bring me a change of clothes, I've already written a letter of action. Want to enter the operating room, wait for the doctor.] Message from Mas Hadi.

I let out a long sigh. Athaghfirullah! I have promised to focus on doing my duties and obligations to my family and husband. Just realized the presence of demons who do not like humans are worshiping.

Serving the husband no matter how sick, will be written as a worship of great reward. Only one creature does not like this. The devil does not like the tranquility of a family. The ruse and talbis that this demon does, is indeed its main task to make a fuss in the household.

Regretful that it made the devil rejoice when I was angry at the man who still claimed to be my husband.

Who is the devil? She is a woman who wants me to be hurt and ask for a divorce from her husband, or tempt Mas Hadi to divorce me and marry her. Satan is a human being who performs his main task, scattering the raise of husband and wife. He will applaud when Mas Hadi and I fight.

Mas Hadi still came home. Still giving birth to a living, although the inner trumpet can not be fulfilled properly because my condition is still not finished treatment due to bacteria ‘Trikomonas’.

‘Syukuri a little, Love. Be thankful! There are many other women who suffer more than you. Those who experience KDRT, threatened his soul. Someone left her husband without news. Something is unaffordable. You still have your rights, though not after your wishes. Be grateful, Love,’ is a self-reminder that I keep whispering in my heart. ‘Do not demand or even dictate that God fulfill your wishes. Fulfill God's right, then your right will come by itself.’

Grateful, because there are still people who are far more unlucky than the circumstances I experienced. I can still worship quietly, still be able to take care of the children, also still given the opportunity to serve the husband, even though the situation is not good.

I pacified my heart with a recoil as usual, comforter when the heart was wounded. ”And (remember also), when Robmu declares; “Verily if you are grateful, surely We will add (merciful) to you, and if you deny (My mercy), then surely My punishment will be very painful”. [Acclesiastes: 7].

I'm sorry, God. If you are not grateful for this little favor. To forgive the kindness of the husband, even if it can only be counted with the fingers. Thank God ‘ala khulihal, grateful in every situation. For there must be good from God, behind all the misfortunes and pains I have experienced.

Astarghfirullah's. Why did I follow the devil's desire to be angry with my husband? Why am I angry with a man who cannot tell which is haq and which is wrong? It's pointless. Better refocus on doing the obligation.

[In a moment, yes, Mas. I'll prepare it first]

Returning to the Hospital, Mas Hadi was in the waiting room for surgery. His body was well-groomed with a green cloth. Nurses who help from the treatment room can only take you to the entrance.

Before entering the room, we do’a together. The man raised his hand to do’a. I looked at him expectantly, so that the guidance came with the pain that was suffered.

There is something warm in my heart. Something that thrashed out wanted to rebel and leave behind this self-destructive man. I know, it's a whisper of the devil. He did not want me to do good and serve my husband.

I slowly walked with the eyes of his weak body into the action room. Do’a is the best I can offer to the father of my children.

Mendo’akan someone who has hurt the heart, really very heavy I do. Moreover, he still does not admit what he has done, has caused a breakdown of confidence.

Remembering a suggestion, the best man is one who prays for the good of those who have hurt and wronged him. The highest man is the one who is able to forgive, in a depressed state. Allah forgive us.