Devotion (A Devotion)
Nocturnal

“No need to talk to Nofi, and forbid it here," said Mas Hadi.

“Why can't I talk?”

“You're a woman who can't keep other people's feelings. No pity those kids want to play here.”

“It keeps that Mas repeat, keep the feelings of others. Now do you keep my feelings? Does Nofi keep my feelings?”

“You are too excessive jealousy. My husband's time is curbed and I can't do what I want to do. You know, I don't have to go home.”

“What do you mean go home?” Suddenly talking won't come home. Is that true? Is there a man, this kind of husband? It's sad, I just realized now, that the one who delivered it was my own husband. The man I trusted became a priest in this house.

“Going home is just a fuss with you. Huh!” pissed off.

“Ribut? Who makes a storm? I've been quiet, 'cause I'm mad at you. But Mas kept coming closer and berating me. I am angry with you, Mas. That's why I'm silent. Angry Mas, very angry,” isakku restrained.

“Already, don't bother me anymore.”

“The wife cannot make the husband calm. Don't blame me, if it's quieter with another woman. You don't have what I'm looking for,” he snapped.

“What are you looking for, anyway? What?” my screams are no less loud.

The man was confused to answer my question.

“Or maybe Mas who is not grateful to have children and wives, still looking for less?” continued emotion.

“Already, don't discuss anymore. It's stormy. Make trouble," he concluded.

What kind of man have I been married to for fifteen years. Why I don't know him. Only now did he show the originals, subhanallah.

I stopped expressing emotions and words that drew his anger, afraid that the children in the front room would hear our quarrel. Shaking the heart and hate is quality with soul-cooling remembrance.

The night passed without any conversation between the two of us. I chose to quietly calm myself, even though the contents of this head wanted me to shed with full emotion. God, please take care of me tonight.

*****

“I have events from morning till night.” Mas Hadi said goodbye at breakfast, reported the activities today. His face looks happy. His eyes sparkled beautifully as he said his departure.

My eyes looked at him in disbelief, it was Sunday. The day he usually spent playing games with Izal and Ivan, or taking them swimming in the Tirta Indah Swimming Pool which was soon hit by the construction of the Jakarta-Semarang toll project.

I prepared breakfast in silence without responding to the sentence. Smooth rebar greets the soul. There's something unusual, but I can't say it. I wanted to say something, but my tongue was confused.

If he asks for his departure, he will be angry as usual. No, it was not his anger that made him lazy to answer. I don't want the kids to snort he yells at his mom.

“Kok, silent?” tanya Mas Hadi saw my reaction.

“Ya,” I replied restlessly.

“Why? Usually talk a lot?” He felt my unnatural reaction.

“For what to say a lot, if only to make Mas angry. I better shut up.”

“Suspicious continues, suspicious continues. My wife suspects where her husband is going. Mbok yeah, think it's a positive one with her husband. If you think negative later the real incident you know,” he said cuek.

Tuh, right. I have not asked him where he went, Mas Hadi has been like this. How to solve this heart problem. Am I the one who thinks too negatively? Maybe there's a point, Mas Hadi just drove Caca.

“I go first. In the home. Just keep storming with you.”

The man left the house in a hurry. I'm back to my usual routine on Sunday morning. Set aside anxiety by doing activities and cooking for children who are soon home playing.

“Where to, Mom?” ask Izal who just came home to play ball.

“Oh, there is an event. How, Dek? Wanna swim? Same Mom, later Mom interra.”

“Ga wants, same Dad.” wants

Some slashed in this chest heard the request of the little one who was very close to his father. They used to spend time swimming when the holidays arrived.

“We are looking for other activities, yuk?”

“If there is no father, do not want,” his header spoiled.

“Where is Adek going today?” ask slowly.

“I want to buy Gundam to Simpang Lima. Father promised yesterday.”

“Sama Mommy only, yuk. Moms all buy materials to make clothes.”

“No way! He wants the same dad. Now!”

“Ya is dead, I called Dad first huh. Let's go home quickly.”

I entered the room to pick up my phone and called Mas Hadi to inform Izal of his request. After I found the contact, I pressed the call button. A few seconds of the connect tone sent.

There was a ringing of a familiar phone behind my pillow. Surprised, I flicked up the pile of pillows, and I got Mas Hadi's phone there. Which HP did you bring? This one is left behind.

Mas Hadi has two cell phones. One for the office, one for the family. What is left is a cell phone that is commonly used to contact family.

The silver-colored flat object was trembling. I never held it. The owner was once angry when I held the phone, incessantly angry.

I opened it with a long prayer. May my mind be wrong. I hope what I have imagined all this time is wrong. May I be wrong, God. I hope what my husband has said is true.

Somewhat clumsy I checked the application listed on the screen. I'm not used to all the apps there. Kucek WA, nothing suspicious. “Huft!” I stroked the chest in relief. Maybe true, only my guess is too much.

Switching to social media apps, nothing, just empty chat, post just that. My list of friends and followers I checked carefully. Once again I breathe with a sense of airiness. It felt like the rope that had been tightening my chest, was passed one by one.

I checked the other apps, contact list, last call log, export chat. I didn't find anything to do with Nofi and Caca. I paused for a moment to remember, which app have I not opened yet? I swiped the phone monitor, observing one by one if someone was missed. I made sure I opened it all, and there was no suspicious indication.

Is it just negative thoughts? I sat in silence. I put that popnsel back. I was still staring at that thing. Time is there nothing? So it was my fault all along, huh? Being too prejudiced is not good for your husband.

Abaghfirullahal. I cry in regret. It's all my fault for not trusting my own husband. I only realized, this is where the role of Jin Dasim in making a household quarrel.

Marriage is a worship. The devil does not like people who worship. So he disturbed his husband and wife in order to fight, hate each other, get angry with each other, and finally divorced.

When a husband and wife divorce, the devil is the first to laugh because that way, he can tempt women who become widows with world slander. He can also persuade divorced men to commit adultery.

“Mother, have you called Dad yet?” ask Izal who followed to the room. He sat down with annoyance next to me.

“Shortly, Son. Mother phone HP one more yes.”

I looked for the HP contact number that was used for office purposes, and I pressed the call sign and waited a while before Mas Hadi's voice answered my call.

[Yes, what's up, anyway? I'm being bothered. I'll call you later.] I was surprised.

“Mas, that's Izal ...” I didn't say my words when across there was a voice other than Mas Hadi. A voice I know very well.

[Mother, Mother, we've seen dolphins, yes.]

[St! Don't be so hard, Ca!] The woman called mother answered the request of the little girl called Ca.

I heard all the voices clearly, very clearly. It was so obvious that it made my body feel numb.

[Cint, Love? Don't get me wrong, Cin ..] That man's call I don't hear anymore. I set myself up in this whole body trembling.

----

[Let the starlight have you,

I let the pale wind

and inexhaustibly restless

suddenly incarnated a signal to snatch you

I don't know when I can catch ..].

The poem Sapardi Djoko Damono sung by Ari Reda ran smoothly, before I finally hung up the phone with Mas Hadi. I drifted, my soul was gone.

“Tut tut”