New Breath
Chapter 40's

If the people in the mansion were busy welcoming Radit's return from the hospital after three days of treatment. Farhan was still busy with his own head. Even though he knew the nephew was home. He had no intention of going out of his room. He is still engrossed in digesting well the doctor's explanation of his condition that is getting worse. And now Farhan was struck by a sense of confusion that made his head dizzy.  Confused by the decision he made. Should he tell his family about his true condition? Or keep it a secret until they know for themselves. Farhan really didn't know what to take now.

Reyhan's condition has indeed improved and Oktara's family certainly rejoiced over it.  However, the condition of Radit is now being feared by the extended family. That's what really makes Farhan again feel doubtful. Again he did not want to add any sadness to his family. Because, so far too many events that create sadness and drain tears. Farhan just wanted to see his family smile happily. However, it seems that God still does not allow and still wants to give trials to pass. God still wants to test the patience of the people in the house with the same sorrow. Yes, Farhan hopes that everything will pass soon and change into a big smile.

Farhan's phone lying carelessly on top of the bed rang loudly. He glanced at the object and saw the Caller ID on the screen. His smile came out so sweet. Then, he grabbed his phone and answered the call.

“Assalamu’alaikum, Mas,” said someone across the phone.

The voice sounded very softly permeating in Farhan's auditory senses. The voice that his master so desperately missed by Farhan. After his return from outside the city, he had never seen her again. Luckily Farhan the woman always understood her position which was preoccupied by office affairs. The woman never demanded much from him. In fact, it is the woman who always encourages him when he feels tired.

“Wa’alaikumussalam, By. How are you?” tanya Farhan was no less gentle. To the woman he was always gentle. That is the lesson he learned from Reyhan and Nadhira. Especially Nadhira. His sister-in-law always advised him to treat women gently. From Nadhira also he knows how the figure of Finza.

“I should be the one to you, Mas. How are you?”

Farhan did not answer. However, he is squeezed into dysentery by Finza. The question was thrown perhaps because he rarely informed Finza lately. “By, i’m so sorry,” said Farhan with a tone of guilt. He is not responsible for his relationship with Finza. However, it was not Farhan's intention, but he was forced to. Besides because he is busy with office business. He is also preoccupied with his condition that often falls lately.

“I miss you, Mas.”

“Where are you? I'll catch up with you,” break up Farhan. Finza is not a woman who can easily say misses. However, he will say it without shame if it is not able to stem the longing.

Farhan disconnects the phone call after getting an answer from her lover. He then grabbed his car keys and left the room. He stepped up the stairs to get down to the floor. However, just as his foot touched the first floor, the key to the car he was playing in his hand dropped. Farhan crouched down and was about to grab the key. But what happened? His hands shook again. He failed to get his car keys. Then, a pair of limbs were suddenly seen in front of him.

Farhan. The man was stunned with his hands still shaking. He was afraid to raise his head. Afraid that the owner of the pair of legs would know what happened to him.

“This.” The heavy voice sounded. Reyhan's voice while handing over the keys to his sister's car. However, the sight fell on one of his sister's limbs that should have grabbed the key. “Farhan, your hand why?” Reyhan panicked and touched Farhan's hand. The harshness of the vibration in his sister's hand made his hand also tremble.

Farhan was still glued to the spot. He began to lose focus. Until Reyhan's touch on his arm managed to restore his focus. He quickly put away Reyhan's hand that was touching him. "Farhan must go, brother," he said quickly and simply left Reyhan.

“Farhan wait!” reyhan shouted to stop his sister. But Farhan did not pay attention. He wanted to chase Farhan, but was undone when he saw the object in his hand. Is some Radit needs that he previously took in the car, because it was left behind. He will try to talk if Farhan comes home later, Reyhan thought. Then, he again continued his steps towards the room to bring the belongings of little Radit.

˚˚˚˚˚

Farhan smiled as he looked at the woman with the black robe combined with the maroon-red hijab who was sitting in the corner of the cafe staring out the window. Farhan immediately stepped out his legs without hesitation to get close. “Hei!” greet Farhan while standing perfectly in front of Finza.

Finza turned her head and found her lover standing with a big smile. However, the smile did not remove Farhan's pale face. He looked at Farhan with his eyes sad. “Sit, Mas,” says Finza please. He then stared fixedly at the face that lost its hue. Lying if Finza is not sad to see the face of her lover who is always pale. However, he could not show it in front of Farhan. Farhan did not like to see him sad.

Silent. The lovers were just staring at each other without a sound.

Farhan loves Finza earnestly. However, he still could not open up to the woman. In contrast to Finza who always tried to be able to talk about anything with him.

“Mas, can I ask you something?” tanya Finza who successfully deports the desolate one she created with Farhan. He looked seriously at his lover's face.

“Of course. Want to ask what?”

“If I hide one big secret from you, how?” Finza's gaze could not be seen Farhan who looked ordinary. Either really ordinary or just trying to be ordinary. Finza doesn't know very well.

“You shouldn't do it, By. You should tell me the same. Didn't we agree not to keep any secrets?”

“But, it was you who broke the deal yourself, Mas,” Finza replied casually. He then stamped it thin.

“How bad is your condition now, Mas?”

Silence is Farhan's lips. Where did Finza know about her condition?

“You must be confused ‘kan from where do I know?” Finza laughed a little. “You forgot, yes, Mas, who is Doctor Agni?”

Yes Farhan forgot that. Farhan forgot that Doctor Agni—the doctor who handled his case—is the older brother of his lover's father. However, did Doctor Agni expose about her illness to Finza? Didn't that violate the doctor's oath?

“Tante Agni will not violate his vow as a doctor by revealing the condition of his patient, Mas. So, you don't think that Aunt Agni told me,” Finza said as if she knew what Farhan had in mind. “I accidentally saw the results of your examination when I went to Aunt Agni's room to deliver Ummi.”

Farhan let out a long breath. One thing he tried to keep secret from his lover has now been revealed by itself. Farhan doesn't know what to do now.

“Why did you hide that from me, Mom? Do I not deserve to be a friend to share your grief?”

“By, I can explain.”

“You want to explain what else? You are the one who demands me to always be open, but you who can't do it,” Finza replied. He angry? Sure do. He's disappointed? Evidently. But he did not hate his girlfriend.

“I don't want you to be sad, By. I don't want to take care of the people I love,” Farhan said.

Finza's forehead shriveled in. He was confused by Farhan's statement. Was Farhan not just keeping his condition a secret from himself? But also his family?

“I'm not ready to tell anyone. Included on Papa and Mama.”

“So?”

“Iya. No one knows. Only Brother Nadhira. So, please don't tell anyone, yes.”

“But, Mas—”

“It's not time yet, By. I'll tell you everything when the time is right.”

Finza can't be mad at Farhan. Now he just pity to see the look of the sad face of his lover. “So, all this time you just endure the pain yourself, Mas,” shouts Finza in the heart.

“Sorry to me, yes,” said Farhan full of requests. He cupped his hands together in front of his chest so that Finza would forgive him. However, one unwanted thing happened again. His hands shook again.

“Mas your hand why is it shaking like that?” Finza panicked and approached.

Farhan held his hand firmly. In fact, he was also helped by Finza.

“Mas, we go to the hospital, yes, now.”

Farhan shook his head.

“Mas, listen to me this time only.”

Looking at the face with that parched expression made Farhan finally nod his head.