Just once
The endless sadness
YOU KNOW, I GOT HURT.
the Aliyza Kanza Sinhawa
The sun was shining, the sky was so bright this morning. Chaca' looked out the window with hope that everything would be fine. He realized the time given Omnya is only 4 days away.
Today, Chaca' plans to tell Fasya everything that she will be in surgery.
"For Sya" said Chaca' smiling to Fasya who was sitting on the sofa of the villa's television room.
"Morning, let's go to the rest area now" said Fasya holding Chaca's hand'
"You go first, I want to talk beautiful first" replied Chaca'
"I'm waiting for you" said Fasya who sat back on the sofa
"Whatever it may be, it's a woman's business. I didn't take long, you're good first" said Chaca' pulling Fasya's hand to stand up from the sofa
"Yaudah, I'm first well" said Fasya kissing Chaca's head and then heading to the rest area for breakfast.
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After Fasya left, Chaca' ventured to meet the beautiful in her room and hoped that Indah and Lika's misunderstanding would be completed.
*doctock*
"exceptively? It's me Chaca" said Chaca' in front of the door of the Beautiful room. However, there was no response from the beautiful. Chaca' is sure Beautiful and Lika has not been to the rest area. Because, since dawn Chaca' was waiting for them to come out of the room.
Finally, Chaca' ventured to open the door to Beautiful's room. Beautiful looks sitting at her dresser and does not turn around to engage Chaca' even though she realizes Chaca' entered her room.
"Beautiful, I want to explain everything" said Chaca' who stood right behind Indah
"Please Cha' now I don't want to hear any explanation from you" replied Indah
"Lo misunderstood, Dika just want to be excited" said Chaca'
"Mangolin? For what he excited you only because you got reprimanded from Brother Yudha. It's Cha's exaggeration" said Indha who still turned her back to Chaca'
"Lo's wrong, actually Dika is not nyangatin gw because of that. He knows the problem I'm having now" Chaca replied'
"Look, even you prefer Dika than we make a story of all your problems" said Lika who arrived to enter the room Indah
"You misunderstood. I'm not the one who told Dika" Chaca said with a sad look
"Well, you want to say you have an inner bond!" Beautiful speech that starts emotions
"So you guys think I have the same taste. You believe that I would love everyone else except Fasya!" Said Chaca' with a tone that started hard
"Yes! We believe you are selfish. You always want more. You always want to be on top of us. You don't know the true meaning of friendship. You always live well! Where do we have a problem? You never existed and never even knew. You never know the problems we face, Lo never felt the name lonely because all men are always there for you. We believe that you start walking with someone other than Fasya. Including Dika and Brother Yudha!" Shouted Lika
"Gw didn't expect you guys to think I was that low" said Chaca, who tried to hold back her tears
"Please get out of here. Please don't bother me for a while. Let Dika directly clear everything to me if it's back at the top" said Indah who turned her face away from Chaca
"You know, I'm sorry I never knew you guys. Maybe I was too selfish because I never knew your problems" said Chaca' and immediately left Indah and Lika.
SORRY, MAYBE GW IS TOO SELFISH BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW YOUR PROBLEMS. SORRY, BECAUSE I THOUGHT TOO MUCH ABOUT THE PROBLEM GW UNTIL I NEVER ASKED IF YOU GUYS WERE OKAY. SORRY, BECAUSE GW IS TOO TIRED TO BEAR THE BURDEN BECAUSE OF GW'S OWN PROBLEMS. SORRY, BECAUSE I ALWAYS THOUGHT OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS GOOD UNTIL WE NEVER ASKED EACH OTHER IF YOU WERE OKAY. MAAFFIN GW, I HOPE YOU'RE ALWAYS OKAY.
the Aliyza Kanza Sinhawa
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"Hey, are you okay?" Asked Fasya who was worried to see the limp Chaca.
"I'm okay, yeah. I'm just not feeling well" Chaca said with a smile. Fasya could read Chaca's sad face. He feels that Chaca's not doing well right now.
"It's how I take you to the villa for a rest" said Fasya
"What is it. I am still strong" Chaca said with a smile
"I don't want you why napa, I take care of you in the villa. Let's break Cha'" said Fasya who is very confident that Chaca' is really not okay now
"What's wrong, now you focus on eating okay" said Chaca' holding Fasya's hand. Finally, Fasya returned to eating worriedly.
"Where are you today?? Ask Fasya
"I'm on an oil palm plantation" Chaca said'
"I'm at the tea plantation, if you start to feel bad immediately contact me" said Fasya while finishing his meal
"Yes, yes" said Chaca, smiling.
DO YOU FEEL MY WOUNDS TOO? ARE YOU FEELING MY DEEPEST SORROW? DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY SUFFERING NOW? CAN I BE SELFISH AND ASK YOU TO STAY WITH ME AT ALL TIMES WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE NOW? YOU KNOW? I'M NOT BREATHING RIGHT NOW. I FEEL TIGHT BECAUSE MY WOUNDS ARE TOO DEEP. CAN I KEEP LOOKING INTO YOUR EYES AS A TRANQUILIZER?
I NEED YOU SO MUCH. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THE TRUTH. PLEASE KEEP LYING AND HIDE EVERYTHING SO THAT NOTHING WILL CHANGE BETWEEN US. ALTHOUGH I KNOW IT'S TRUE, NOTHING GOOD IS OKAY RIGHT NOW.
- Aliyza Kanza Shinawa
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After they had breakfast, they finally returned to their respective locations. Chaca' decided to tell her parents about her surgery first before Fasya. He sat on a park bench near a tea plantation and tried to call his mother.
"Hello, this mother I'm Chaca'" said Chaca'.
The mother was surprised, because Chaca' very rarely called her mother. Bahakan, he never lifted a phone from his mother
"Are you okay, honey?" She asked her mother in a heavy voice like she had just cried.
"Mother crying?" Chaca's'
"Your sister baby, your sister's back on the drop. Mother is really sad now. Mommy can't see your sister suffering from her illness. If only Mother could ask God to replace your mother's life for your Brother" said the mother in tears
"Mother! What Mother said! If he was destined to die for what mother said like that. Mother, do you realize that you have two children. I'm your son too, why do you always talk to me about him. Does mom know? every time you talk about it, I hate it even more" cried Chaca, who also began to cry
"Chaca'! Don't be selfish. You should be thankful that you have everything. You are grateful to be able to live a normal life like everyone else. Unlike your brother who has to rely on treatment. Father and mother struggle to do anything to get your sister healed soon, but you never understand and always want to be spoiled!" Said his mother who also started to get emotional.
Chaca' is really hurt. He really felt like he couldn't breathe. Sometimes he rubbed his chest because his heart began to hurt because of changes in his emotions.
He even closed his mouth with his hand so that he would not say something that would hurt his mother more. He is really losing energy now. He can't even support his body. His heart was really hurt, he really wanted to scream right now.
"I'm the most selfish person in everyone's eyes. Mother was right, I never understood the situation Brother. Dad and Mommy are right, I'm just a spoiled girl. Forget about me, I will never demand affection from you again. I'll find my own happiness now. Mother, forgive me for always being rude to Mother. I'm sorry for not being nice to everyone. From now on, you will never hear my words that hurt your heart again. Now, there will be no one else who will demand affection from Father and Mother again. I'm sorry for all the things I did that upset you. Ii'm sorry. But the one I asked for, please don't say I'm a brash kid. That hurt me so much. I feel like the unluckiest child because it was never well educated starting from small, until I was told to be rude by my own parents" said Chaca who immediately turned off her phone connection.
Chaca didn't even have time to tell her about the operation to her mother. He really can't feel anything right now. He's really hurt. He even cried without making a sound. He was ashamed of himself who felt like he was not considered by everyone. Even his family.
HERE I AM, A SELFISH WOMAN WITH NO DIRECTION. I AM REALLY BLIND ON THE ROAD. I CAN'T BREATHE VERY WELL NOW. I'M REALLY TIRED. IT WILL BE AN ENDLESS, SAD STORY.
the Aliyza kanza sinhawa
