WHEN MY FACE CHANGED
Shorten My Time in the World

“I asked you to come here suddenly because I wanted to convey my apology and thank you. Perhaps, after this I will never trouble you again. Haha, it is I who dare to trouble you.” Jessica chuckles

“Maybe this is also our last meeting, I hope you are growing and always successful with what you do. May you always be happy” said Jessica, this time her face could not lie she was very sad to say that sentence to Vishnu.

“Jessi, don't talk like that you give me goosebumps like this one last farewell.” Vishnu said he was afraid.

“Maybe ? not possible but it is certain.” Jessica smiled wryly.

“Jessi, are you okay ?” Vishnu asked while holding the woman's shoulder. Jessica just silently lowered her head staring at her flatshoes.

“I want to listen to you, want to be here or a regular place first ?” Ask Vishnu gently.

“Even to tell a story I do not know where.”

“Come wind” Wisnu moved from his seat while holding the woman's hand to the car.

In park

The trees growing around the long chair were moving to and fro greeting visitors who were looking for the night air. Jessica and Vishnu were sitting in one of the chairs exactly which they often occupied while there. Both of them are silent, no one starts a conversation first like a couple who just started their love story.

“I've always been here every time I have a load that maybe others won't understand even if I tell them.” Vishnu said he let out a voice.

“But when telling stories to the stars and moon witnessed by these trees makes me feel relieved, at least there is still a place to tell stories even though they will not be able to give advice to me.” Vishnu let out a slow breath, glancing at the woman beside him.

“So, just tell them how you feel now. They won't ask you to start over, you can tell them randomly.” Said again.

Jessica smiled faintly at the words of Vishnu, the way she thought it was effective also because if buried alone would only make herself cry every night in her boarding room.

“I'm tired” Jessica's opening sentence makes Vishnu's smile expand instantly.

“I feel fucked up now, even whatever I do won't change everything for the better.” Her tears began to flood her cheeks.

“I never expected to be born into this world, but...”.

“Why would God send me to this evil place ? which makes me jealous of others when they laugh freely because they are happy, smiling when taking pictures with their loved ones. Hiks..” Jessica was unable to continue her words, she took a breath and looked back at the sky.

“It all started with my parents who I didn't expect to be the people I call mom and dad. They were unlike any other parent, they could only suppress me like a helpless babu, I was in pain with everything I got in this world. I never felt considered at first, even I forgot when was the last time I laughed without feeling any burden.”

Jessica overflowed with emotion, fortunately no one passed by there. While Vishnu just quietly listen to Jessica's story with nature.

“Even on the day of his death he can still leave the commands I have to do. I didn't actually want to do it but somehow I felt like I had to do the command.”

“I used to be a kid, I'm still a number but why do I think I'm like a twenty-year-old kid ? since then I've been thinking about my fate and my sister's, I thought about how to make money to eat, I thought about how to make my sister feel happy, thinking of how to cheer up my sister who misses her mom and dad. I can't even cry when my stomach is hungry, when friends laugh at me for picking up their used food.....Hiks..hiks..”.

“Even people would use me to give them an advantage when I was still not like other teenagers who had gone through puberty. But what can I do ? I'm just following it because I also need that money to finance our lives.”

Vishnu quietly shed tears hearing the sentences that came out of Jessica's mouth. All this time he never thought it turned out to be the woman's life because it was forced. Forced to do anything to be able to live and care for his sister without thinking about himself in the future. Vishnu glanced at the sobbing Jessica, seemingly unable to speak anymore. The woman's voice was low because she was too tired to let out emotions in her chest.

“Usually I cry here no one listens to me, but look at you you have a body you can hold here.” Vishnu smiled, Jessica looked at him with tears still wet her cheeks in the set and Vishnu spread his hands letting the woman cry in his arms. Feeling offered, Jessica drifted in Vishnu's arms.

“You are great, you have done your best even since you were born in this world you are destined to be the greatest human being.” Vishnu stroked Jessica's back.

“You can feel messed up, feel like no one cares and understands you. But remember, God is truly there and always watches over you wherever you go.” 

“But why did God let me fall like this?” Jessica asked in a hoarse voice. Vishnu smiled faintly hearing it.

“You didn't fall, just tired. God is working to shape you into a greater human being, God already has a good plan for you.” 

“What good plan ? you know me..”.

“You want me to tell you something ?” vishnu cut off the woman's speech.

“For example you want a very rare chocolate in this world, you must do anything to get it right ?” Jessica who was in his arms nodded slowly, Vishnu's hand was still always stroking his back.

“If anyone says, *it's there's a lot of rare chocolate you want, please, it's just that it takes a long time to get there and the road is also very steep so people are lazy to go there but if you get there you must be happy because that's where the factory is*you must be going right, in order to take your wish it is ?” Said again.

“Well, so is God. Don't tell me he doesn't exist, doesn't lead you down the right path, can't watch you fall like this. Just try to find God once, come to Him and ask for help he will surely give it to you. Just like the story earlier, you have to go to a foreign place that takes a long time to get the chocolate you want.” Jessica took off her embrace, wiping away the rest of her tears.

“So you mean I should look for God ?” Ask Jessica.

“That's” Reply Vishnu smiled thinly.

“Hahaha.. impossible.” Jessica smiled in anguish.

“Now try to say what you want ?” Vishnu changed his sitting position.

“I just want to die fast. I want my time in this world to be shortened,” Jessica replied with a piercing tone.

 Life is very cruel, for that you have to be careful in doing anything. It feels small and small but big things must start from the small things first. Apart from that, you must also be able to distinguish people who are really on your side or secretly want to bring you down. Nah! you don't need to distinguish that because the person who is now on your side could be tomorrow your biggest enemy. For that live on your own feet, no one is truly sincere with you. Even your own shadow will leave you in the dark.

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Don't forget his feedback dear 😘