The Decapitation of Wounds
Chapter 13

Ika's coming. It was a real surprise for me. What else did he bring a doll to Ayala. Also a lot of cake and chocolate. Although with a confused heart, I also allowed him to go in and sit down.

This morning as usual my house was quiet. It's just me and little Resa. Nining was at the market after first dropping off Tassa and Ayala at school.

Ika and I sat facing each other awkwardly. I don't know how to open a conversation. Should I give you my smile while asking how you are doing right now? But I don't think I want to know about the situation anymore. And I don't want to see his face anymore. What else is facing him like now. But I can't possibly throw him out. Let me just take him in kind and listen to what his purpose is to come here this morning.

"How are you, An?" tanya Ika made small talk opening up the conversation.

"Oh, fine," I replied flatly.

"Sleepy kok? Your kids are going to school?"

"It has. It's eight o'clock now. It's just me and Resa here. What is it really necessary for you to come here? Does Mas Dudy know about your arrival?"

"No," Ika's bells slowly. "Mas Dudy didn't know I was coming here. He had already left for the office when I was on the road. Dudy doesn't need to know, does he?"

"Of course Mas Dudy should know about your arrival" I said quickly. "You are his wife, Ika. You should've asked her permission if you wanted to get out of the house. You should know that Mas Judy doesn't like it the most if his wife goes outside or does something without asking permission first."

"I don't think Mas Dudy would have known about my arrival if you hadn't told him, '" Ika said casually.

"You mean I can't tell Mas Dudy that you came here? Why that? I've never kept any secrets from Mas Dudy."

"What's wrong with having one little secret between the two of us? After all, I didn't come here to get you into a fight."

I sighed in annoyance. It's only been a few months that she's been Mas Dudy's wife, but she's been asking me to keep a secret from Mas Dudy . Though I, the wife who had accompanied Mas Judy for many years, was always honest and open to my husband.

"Tell me what it means to come here. Sorry, I don't have much time to keep you company. I'm busy" I insist impatiently.

I didn't answer immediately. He was even engrossed in looking at Resa who was engrossed in playing with a smile. "Great quick as he is" he said without answering my question.

"Yes, indeed. But you didn't come here this morning to see Resa, did you?"

I raised my face towards me. Suddenly he looked so serious. I'm getting tense myself.

"I actually came here to offer you help, An," he said later.

"Help?" many confused.

"Yes, help to take care of Ayala," she replied casually but sounded like a bomb in my ear.

"What?" pekiku.

"I want to take care of Ayala, An. I want to take her to live with me."

Like being electrocuted, I was shocked to hear Ika's words. How could he possibly think like that? Caring for Ayala? He's totally nuts!

"I know you must be surprised to hear that. But I'm serious, An. I really want Ayala to stay with me," Ika said again, still with a calm demeanor.

Instantly it was also my emotions like being flushed. I felt slowly my heart began to be filled with anger. Ika really outrageous. After he took my husband, now he wants to take my son. Does he think I'll just shut up letting him take all of mine?

"You're crazy!" pekiku angry. "Ayala is my son, my flesh and blood! You're crazy to think you can take it from me!"

"I don't want to take Ayala away from you, An. Ayala is still your son, you are still his mother. I just want to take care of her and raise her because she's Mas Judy's son. So of course I can..."

"No! You can't! Ayala my son!" peekikku is really angry.

"I know," said Ika quietly, contrasting with my loud voice earlier. He still looks so calm. "I love Ayala because she's Mas Dudy's son, my husband. I think I can love him like my own son. What else is it hard to get offspring. And I know that you're often troubled to take care of it. So I mean good, right? I just wanted to help you. I'm her mother, too, An."

"For God's sake you're completely heartless, Ika! Is it still not enough that you took Mas Dudy from me? Do you want to take my son too? Yes, Ayala is naughty and often makes me bother. But that doesn't mean I want to give it to you! I love my children so much and I will raise them even if it's hard!"

"But Ayala won't lack anything with me, An. I'll give her the affection you've given her all along. He will also meet his father there. So you don't have to worry. Think again, An."

"No!" seruku fast. "You won't be able to give love like me, Ika! Because I am the mother who has conceived, given birth, breastfed and raised her all this time. You have to remember that!"

"I just want to help you" Ika said beginning to feel annoyed.

"I don't need your help with babysitting my kids! You think you can be better than me? Very amusing. Just kid you don't have. How can you feel more capable than me, Ika?"

"Enough!" Ika angry. He was offended by my words. His face looks riled up. He looked angry at me. "You don't have to insult me like that. I have no experience in raising children. I realize I've never had one. The reality is bitter to me because I have a hard time having children, unlike you, Ani. But I don't like you being insulted like that. I have feelings too!"

Hearing Ika's words, my laughter broke. "So you have feelings you say? You took your best friend's husband who helped you a lot and now wants to take his son. Aren't you ashamed to admit you have feelings in front of me? Then you put where you've been feeling all this time?"

Ika's face was red. He seems really angry now. I think he'll explode soon. But it didn't. Ika sat still, like wanting to ease her emotions. His breathing is getting regular now. And then his face looked calm again.

"I didn't come here to fight" he said slowly. "I want to ask your permission to take Ayala. If you can't think calmly now, I'll give you time to think. Please, An, give Ayala to me. I promise to take good care of it like my own son."

"My son is not something you can ask for. Until whenever my answer remains the same. So go home now. There's no point in you lingering here, Ika."

"All right, I'm home. But I'll be back later."

"No, please don't ever come here again, anything else to talk about this. Forget your intentions."

I shook my head. It's hard to understand that I can't give Ayala to him. There's no way I'm giving my son to someone else. What else on the man who took my husband and ruined my happiness.

"Listen, Ika. Even if I had ten children, I still wouldn't hand Ayala over to you. You understand that?"

"Oh, I understand," Ika nodded. "You must hate me so much for marrying your husband, right? But can't you forgive me? We can share, Ani."

"Oh, huh? Sharing your words? If I may ask, what can you share with me after I have divided my husband and children?"

"You're too cynical" he said resentfully.

"And you're too selfish" I said, not to lose.

Ika stood up with a huff. The large doll he had been holding since was placed on the table along with the packets of pastries and chocolates he had brought. "I'm home" she said.

"Bring back your souvenirs. Ayala doesn't need it," I said immediately.

"No, give it to Ayala. There's no need for you to tell me that it's all from me if you don't want to say it."

"No! I said bring back those things!" seruku sharp.

I looked at me irritated. But then he also brought it by him. He quickly left me. But at the door he looked. "Don't tell Mas Judy what happened this morning. I don't think he needs to know" he said.

"Why? Are you afraid that Mas Judy is angry about what you're doing?"

Ika not saying. "Excuse me," he said as he walked away.

I let out a sigh of relief after Ika left my house. Really sucks. Is he not satisfied that he disturbed the peace of my life?

***

"Will you come here and ask Ayala?" tanya Mas Dudy.

"Yes, it's too much of him. Is he not satisfied that he hurt me?"

"Indeed her outrageousness," said Mas Judy annoyed. "It's true that he came here to see you, when I had forbidden it. I don't want him to hurt you, Ani."

I looked surprised at Mas Judy." So did you know that she was going to ask Ayala for me?" many angry.

"But I've banned it, An. I told him that his wish could hurt your heart. I really don't know if he's going to go see you," said Mas Dudy in self-defense.

"I don't understand why he's so heartless" I complained. "Ayala my son, Mas. I can't give it to anyone else, especially to him. He should have known that."

"I know, honey. It's not worth it that he did that. Let me talk to him later. I don't like him bothering you."

"Is that so? So you still love me like you used to?" I asked while looking at his eyeballs.

Mas Dudy hugged my shoulder, then kissed my cheek fondly. "My love for you will never go away, Ani" she whispered in my ear

"But Ika is present among us."

"I'm sorry. I was too weak to refuse his presence. I promise to always be the best for you. Your heart can't be hurt anymore."

I smiled hearing her words. I don't know if I should be happy or disappointed to hear that. In fact he had let Ika occupy a position between me and him.

After that I told Ayala about Mas Dudy. My husband looked seriously listening.

"Ah, that time, An? But as far as I know he's mediocre."

"But that's what happened, ma'am. His mischief is becoming. And it's all because he thinks you hate him. I tried to give her understanding. But it didn't work."

Dudy was still stuck. He seemed like he could say nothing.

"Now he must share you with Ika, Mas. He doesn't know what really happened. All he knows is that you rarely come home. He lost you, mas."

"Don't exaggerate like that dong, An. You make me feel guilty."

"I'm not exaggerating, mas. Ayala said so herself."

"But why didn't he tell me anything?"

"Not all children can easily talk about their feelings. Talk to him immediately, sir. Before the disappointment deepens."

Mas Dudy took a long breath. His face looks gloomy. "Pity of the boy. I have sinned greatly against him."

I just shut up. I don't know what to say. Dudy had sinned on all three of his hearts. Because he had created one side of the empty space in their hearts. And that empty space had presented a sense of desolation and hurt in their hearts.

"Remove the empty space in the hearts of those you have created. May the empty space be filled again" I said earnestly.

Dudy looked at me and nodded slowly.