The Decapitation of Wounds
Chapter 11

"You're crazy!" peekik Faisal was angry.

I was sitting limp on my stool, not daring to stare at the explosive Faisal. Meanwhile Mr and Ms Iskandar, Mas Boby and Wak Ipah sat quietly in front of me. Right now I feel like a child who has made a mistake and should be scolded for deterrence. All eyes on me make me clumsy and wrong.

"Sal, let Ani talk first" Wak Ipah said calmly. His voice sounds authoritative.

"What else can he say, Mom? He's really stupid! I did not expect that he would be insulted and humiliated like this. He may say love a thousand times, but still I cannot accept his decision," said Faisal with glittering eyes fixed on me who was still sitting lethargic.

"I'm just trying to give my best way out" I said, sobbing softly.

"The best way out? Huh, which is best for whom? For that jerk man?" faisal asked with a raised voice.

"Sal!" bentak Wak Ipah's. Then with a clumsy face glance at my two in-laws who until now still remain silent.

But Faisal didn't seem to care about Wak Ipah's clasping. With a face full of anger he looked at me and continued, "You've made one big mistake that you'll regret for the rest of your life. You should have asked for a divorce as soon as possible. Leave her. Surprised me, such a jerk you still love. Are you stupid or crazy?!"

"Don't do it, Sal," I said.

"Ani, you have to be brave to demand a divorce from her. Let him know that he can't treat you as well as he can. Does he think you no longer have parents, so he can treat you as he pleases? There's still me and mom who will always look after and protect you, Ani. And he must remember that!"

"If you continue to have emotions like this, how can this matter be solved?" keluh Wak Ipah on Faisal.

"But this matter is over, Wak," I said softly.

"Well, did you hear that?" faisal was upset.

Wak Ipah took a long breath. There was not the slightest bit of anger on his old face. In a very calm voice, Wak Ipah spoke to me. "you can assume this matter is over, Ani. But for God's sake we still don't understand this decision you're making. It's a very surprising decision. And this isn't kidding. Do you know how painful it hurts? You have to share your husband with other women in every way. His wealth, his affection, his love, his attention, his time... Think again, Ani. Are you really willing to live it?"

"Yes, kid. Think again clearly," asked my mother-in-law to advise.

"But Mas Dudy really loves Ika, ma'am. I can't keep them apart" I replied in tears.

"But Dudy can't do it like this. I don't want her to hurt your heart."

"Yes, we're not all willing to hurt you, Ani." This time Boby spoke.

"So what should I do now?" many confused.

"Yes, divorced! Leave him immediately. Let him feel like he's lost his wife as good as you. Does she think Ika could be the perfect wife like you? Huh, what could that cheap woman do but seduce?" Faisal spoke still with passionate emotion.

"Divorce? Then what about the fate of my children, Sal?"

"You can find them a new papa."

"Sal!" Wak Ipah snapped, surprised to hear Faisal's words.

Faisal pouted but did not reply. He was silent while holding back the resentful feeling in his heart.

"Why don't you keep your husband, An? She's yours. Why did you let her be owned by another woman?" ask my father-in-law.

"I've tried to defend Mas Judy, sir. I was really hurt because he had the heart to share his love with Ika. But I can't... Love has blinded Mas Dudy's eyes. He was even willing to sin," I replied explaining.

"Let him sin. After all, you didn't take that sin," sambar Faisal quickly.

I shook my head slowly. "I love Mas Dudy, Sal. He's my husband. I don't want him to continue to drown in his sin."

"Why is that? Sin is a result of his own actions, right?" faisal asked with a cynical attitude.

"Ah, understand, Sal..," I said.

No one will ever understand your stupid deeds, An. Even the father and mother of Iskandar would not be able to understand" said Faisal.

I immediately looked at my two in-laws. They nodded. "Yes, Ani, this decision of yours is truly shocking. You should talk to us before you make a decision like this. Hiding Dudy from us is wrong. After all, in the end we still knew it too," said my father-in-law.

"I'm sorry, sir. Actually I'm just afraid you're all mad at Mas Judy" I said.

"I'm angry with your husband now. Even hate him," Again Faisal said emotionally.

"No. I beg you not to hate Mas Judy. He married Ika at my request" I said immediately.

"Mr will talk to Dudy as soon as possible. He must be willing to cancel his marriage to the seductress" my father-in-law said unequivocally.

Hope grows in my heart. I sigh in relief. "May Mas Dudy listen to my father's words" I said expectantly.

"Sir!" pekikku surprised. My mother-in-law was crying too.

"Just be wild. He can choose between his parents or the seductress" my father-in-law insisted.

"But it's not this kind of solution that I want, sir. Dudy is lost. Please don't make an enemy of him" I cried.

"So you want us all to accept the wedding?" ask Boby.

"We have to accept reality, right?" I asked back.

"But you are not willing to accept the woman as a daughter-in-law. You don't want him to be a member of Iskandar Danutirta's family!" my father-in-law was carried away with emotion.

I was crying again. The anger of my father-in-law made my heart become more and more unfazed. By marrying Ika will indeed release Mas Dudy from sin. But at the same time throw it into a new problem that is not less bad. What would happen if Mas Dudy was banished from Iskandar Danutirta's extended family? Ah, I can't even imagine it.

Suddenly Resa's cry sounded loud until our debate came to a halt. I immediately ran to the room to approach him. My brother was already sitting on his bed. And when he saw me he immediately raised both his hands asking to be carried.

"Wake up, son?" I said as I carried her and carried her to the front room where everyone was gathering.

"Make my granddaughter's machine" my father-in-law asked.

I leave Resa to her grandfather who immediately kisses her dearly. Resa's cry stopped for a bit. But then she started crying again. He was thirsty, I thought. Soon I went to the kitchen and made milk for her.

"Hope, honey?" ask me while handing the milk bottle to Resa. Resa's crying stopped. While preoccupied with breastfeeding, he leaned his head into the chest of his grandfather who was not stopping to caress him. The boy looked happy too.

"Dudy don't feel sorry for her kids? It's true he betrayed his family. Though his life has been so perfect" said my father-in-law with emotions that had begun to subside.

"But one day, when they can understand the betrayal of his father, their hearts must be hurt, Ani. Because all children in this world would want to be able to have both parents intact. They won't be willing to share Dudy with anyone. Their bond to her father will cause a greater feeling of jealousy than you have. You know that?"

"May they accept this reality freely" I prayed anxiously.

Faisal snorted sebal. "Why do you expect your children to be stupid humans like you, Ani?" tanyanya cynic.

"Ah, Wak Ipah sighed softly. "Don't you just corner Ani, Sal. This fact is too much for him."

"I didn't mean to corner him. I was just upset by his stupidity. She should be able to be firm with Judy so that she realizes that she can't get everything she wants" she said in a disappointed tone.

"Yes, but Ani has chosen the best way out according to him. There's nothing more we can do now. Maybe we can only hope that Judy will listen to Mr. Iskandar's advice and cancel her marriage to Ika."

Boby nodded. "Yes, we'll talk to Dudy as soon as possible" he promised.

"We're sorry too, Mrs Ipah. We're sorry that Dudy hurt Ani. We are truly ashamed of his actions" my mother-in-law told Wak Ipah.

Wak Ipah shook his head slowly. "This is not the fault of mother and father. Love can rule the heart of anyone."

"No human being is perfect. Not Mas Dudy and me, too" I continued.

"But you were able to sacrifice so much for Dudy, An. In order to avoid Judy from sin, you are willing to be combined. Not all women can do that" praised my mother-in-law.

"Other women acted smart. They asked for a divorce" Faisal said, glancing at me.

I kept quiet, not wanting to argue with Faisal anymore.

After that, the conversation is over. All remain in their respective positions. I was with my resignation, Faisal with his anger and my father-in-law with the hardness of his heart. I don't blame anyone for any of this. They loved me. They deserve to be angry to see me hurt. I just hope tomorrow things don't get any worse than now.

***

The marriage finally took place at a Mas Dudy acquaintance's house outside the city. They married under their hands. After all, the important thing is that their relationship is valid in the eyes of God as I want, so the reason Mas Judy. And the other reason is that I'm the only wife officially recorded. Ika also agreed with Mas Dudy's decision. As for me, I think it's good for me too.

I attended the wedding accompanied by Prita. Tears were unceasingly running down my cheeks. Especially when I see Mas Dudy side by side with Ika in front of the ruler. My heart is broken and no longer shaped. He, who was sitting there, was my husband. And now he's making a faithful promise to another woman. That means tomorrow night I'm not the one in her arms. Not with me she shared the warmth. Ah...

Ika looks so happy. Not his hands hugged Mas Dudy's arms. He might be enjoying his victory. But don't you know how much it hurts my heart to see that indulgence? If he wants to indulge in Mas Dudy, please don't do that in front of me. But thank God all the way back to Jakarta, Mas Dudy kept hugging me. He brought me in the warmth of his chest. And how warm that hug gave me a little strength.

But the wedding had to be paid dearly by Mas Dudy. My father-in-law made his speech manifest and now he no longer considers Mas Dudy as his son. I'm sad not to be upset. What else when I saw that Mas Dudy didn't care about any of that. Presumably Mas Dudy's love for Ika was too big so he did not care about anything anymore.

One week after the wedding Ika moved from her rented house to a rather large house and not too far from my house. Let it be easy for Mas Dudy to visit us, Mas Dudy reason at that time. Me and I agree.

The days are starting to get quiet. Dudy was no longer always beside me and accompanied me through the night. I have to be able to adapt to this situation even though I feel very heavy. I often wake up in the middle of the night and find myself cold and lonely. There's no Mas Dudy next to me. Place's empty. I have always felt that empty place lovingly. But Dudy never knew about any of that. He must be happy to hold Ika there. In this room I was alone. Enjoying my sepulchre while imagining him beside me and whispering words of love in my ear. His voice was so sweet that I heard it. I love you, Ani... Loved you...

Ah, Mas Dudy, my heart aches every time you're with him there. Your love should be as big as my love. My sacrifice should have made you aware and not necessarily dancing on my wounds...