Qalbies
Part 6's

Desecrating my honor

it means tarnishing my family's honor. 

***

Qalbie pacing around in the room. Inner arguing. On the one hand he was eager to meet Rian, but on the other he did not want to tarnish his devotion to the Creator.

His instincts continued to say: go! This is an opportunity you cannot miss.

You'll regret not coming to see him. This is an opportunity you have been waiting for for a long time!

Imagine how happy your life would be if you could be with him. You love her so much, don't you?

Come to her!

Otherwise, you will regret for a lifetime, for having wasted the opportunity given by him. Once he turns away from you, he'll never see you again. Remember that!

Nah! Refute the other voice. If he is destined for you, then he will come in a good way.

Once you choose that path, it will be difficult for you to find your way back.

Don't leave!

Stay here and be a good girl for your future husband and children.

Remember those fathers who work hard for you every day, don't they love you more than themselves?

Why look for another love, if you have to let go of the love of the person who has always been there for you?

No one can guarantee that he really loves you, and will love you to the end!

Qalbie threw his body back on the bed. Should I do that, Robb? L loved her. And this is the best chance to be the only woman in Rian's life.

You Know it, Robb. Really am! I really don't want to tarnish this devotion, but I really love it. What am I supposed to do?

After thinking for a while. Qalbie decides to meet Rian.

He believes that was the best decision.

The girl stood facing the Qibla. Almost four times he repeated the ablution, but Maghrib prayer always failed him to fulfill.

His mind was wracked with guilt

His heart continued to cry out for forgiveness for what he had decided, but his determination kept him insisting on staying. He loves Rian very much, and he has to fight for his love.

The girl saw that her friends were willing to sacrifice anything for the man they loved. So, why not? She also loves Rian very much.

Qalbie gathered his spirit flakes to set up three rakaats. Even though the girl is unable to concentrate as usual, she still does.

No human is perfect. There is no human being who never makes mistakes. Thought the girl.

After performing the prayer, Qalbie immediately released his face. He no longer opens the Qur’an as usual. His heart was very restless, but still insisted on seeing Rian.

Forgive your servant, O Allah! Qalbie leaned against the side of the wall, hugging his knees with his head down. The girl knew what she was going to do was wrong, but she was already helpless against her feelings.

The girl's tears were dripping

On the one hand, it was completely against him. But on the other hand, his heart kept calling out Rian's name. He felt unable to wait any longer.

Qalbie drowned his face between the hands that were coiled on his knees. Cuddling, crying, even sobbing.

His feelings are mixed. Between guilt, fear, and desire.

His instincts continue to drive that Rian is his first love. And he felt he had to fight for it.

After the Isya prayer, Qalbie waited until 19:50 Wita.

She wore a chest-long veil, a long-sleeved shirt lined with sweaters, a long skirt covering the heels, plus a layer of leggings.

The girl stepped lunglai. His eyes stared straight, crossing the dark passageway. His heart grew more erratic as his feet slipped into the puddle of water.

Restless, restless.

Qalbie's heart was pounding as he saw the skinny man in a tidier outfit waiting across the street. Right in front of the campus.

The girl wanted to turn around and go back inside the hallway, but her feet still stepped across the street. His brain was no longer able to think what to do, only focused on the skinny man whose skin color was almost fused with the dark of night.

Arriving there, the girl could only mute with a blank look. Seeing that, Rian became confused. Don't know how to start a conversation. It wouldn't be funny if they just stayed late.

Rian wanted to take Qalbie away from the place, but didn't know how to start. The girl's stiffness caused her voice to stifle in the throat.

“K-ki ... Ehhemm!” Rian cleared his throat because the volume of his voice was very small, “Where should we go?” tanyanya.

The man felt clumsy. He who actually talks a lot, suddenly serious and impressed to the point.

"Yes, brother?"

"Where should we go?"

Qalbie looked around. His fingers continued to link, trying to eliminate the mountains that were not lost, even growing bigger.

“So much Brother only.” he replied later.

"Then let's go up"

Qalbie stared doubtfully at Rian's bike. “Where to go, Brother?”

"I'm your bell"

Qalbie. Not refusing, but not moving.

Rian caught Qalbie's doubt through the girl's body language and gaze.

A few seconds later, he decided to give up. “Then, we take a taxi.” he said while parking the motor on the campus page.

They sat side by side in a taxi.

Rian and Qalbie stared meaningfully ahead there. They are immersed in their own world. Qalbie with a flutter of his heart, and Rian with strange explosions that shot quickly into his chest cavity.

“Where to, Dik?” ask the taxi driver.

Rian and Qalbie are misbehaving.

“Where are we going, Brother?” qalbie asked after catching an impatient expression from the driver's face.

“Yes? Wh why? Where are you going?” Rian asked back.

The driver was getting upset. “You're actually going to where, anyway!?”

“To a quiet place. Eh, no! I mean...”.

“Jail first, Sir.”Qalbie is heard reconnecting Rian's sentence that was not finished because of nervousness.

The driver shook his head at the behavior of modern-day Adam-Eve who was riding his taxi. He drove his car fast, splitting the asphalt which was quite slippery because of the rain this afternoon.

Qalbie peeked at the dim lights from behind the windowpanes, as did Rian. Strange explosions continued to creep into the recesses of their hearts.

Finally, the taxi stopped in front of the cinema. Rian went straight in after paying the fare while Qalbie tailed behind him.

“Wait, Brother!” pinta Qalbie after the distance is quite close.

Rian stopped with his heart pounding. Can I land a kiss on her cheek? Just close to him, it feels like my heart is about to fall out.

They sit next to each other. Watching horror movies.

Rian chose a seat in the back corner. The man sat in agitation holding his left chest, as if frightened, Qalbie heard his heartbeat.

Rian took a deep breath

“Sister Rian, why?” ask Qalbie. The girl realized that Rian's behavior was not like when she saw him on campus.

“I? Emmm .. no! Hahah .. I'm good! I'm all right! That, the movie is creepy!” Rian turned his face away, then closed his eyes.

You idiot! This is what you asked for! But what, even deg-degan half dead?

Rian felt ridiculous

“Sister Rian is fine?” ask Qalbie, “Kakak has no history of heart disease, right?”

Qalbie looked at Rian's hand, worried to see the man holding his chest from earlier.

Aware of Qalbie's gaze, Rian immediately let go of his hand and laughed softly. Signs that he is okay.

Seeing Rian acting like that, Qalbie was suspicious instead.

Don't-don't Brother Rian started thinking strange things. What is possible ... Rian wants to kiss my cheek now? In this place?

Qalbie looked slowly

The girl held her breath seeing Rian sitting restlessly staring at the screen.

“Here too crowded!” Qalbie shouted unconsciously. He stood up straight looking at Rian who was jumped in shock. Some people were surprised and turned to look at them.

“Huuu... again seriously, nih! Another scene is scary! Even the screams are unclear!” protest the woman sitting next to Qalbie.

“Sorry, Brother!” qalbie said, then walked out of the room.

Rian followed her from behind. “Why you?” ask the man when they get to the sidewalk.

“Sister Rian wants to kiss me, right?” ask Qalbie, “A-a-ayo do!” The girl stared hard.

“You angry?” Rian laughed a little. “You want me to kiss you here? Is it okay if someone sees us? If I was, anyway, embarrassed.” replied the man, flirting.

Qalbie stopped his steps

Rian gasped to see the girl suddenly stop. Both hands closed their cheeks. Vigilant.

Don't you think this chick's gonna slap me!

“Then let's find a quiet place and get everything done!” qalbie said annoyed.

Rian said: this girl is like fighting!

They went to some places, but Qalbie didn't feel right.

After getting tired of walking around, Rian began to wonder, is the girl pranking herself? Why does he always say that he is afraid that someone will see, when they are already in a dark and quiet place?

Finally, they went down in front of the campus after not knowing where to go. Rian felt, that girl actually managed to make herself a very obedient person tonight.

The man picked up his bike in the college yard, then went back to see Qalbie.

He pulled over right in front of the girl

Shortly after Rian pulled the bike over, Qalbie's phone rang.

The girl slipped into her sweater pocket. There was a message from Miftah.

He said; the victory will come after patience, the happiness will come after turmoil, and indeed! There will be ease that accompanies adversity.

Not long after, Qalbie's phone rang again. This time from his mother.

Assalamu ‘alaikum, Son. Don't know why, I suddenly thought. You haven't slept, son?

Qalbie's heart was slashed as he read the message. Advice from his fathers and extended family before leaving for the city, came back.

Remember that! You carry the honor of this family on your shoulders. We believe in you. Don't disappoint us, boy! His grandfather said at the time.

“Astaghfirullah.. astaghfirullah Qalbie said that sentence over and over again, “They believe me, Brother. They all believe in me!” muttered. Not clearly heard. Rian frowned. Only the girl's tears made her understand a little.

Qalbie wiped his tears, took a deep breath and said out loud, “Do you know what I was thinking before seeing Brother? I say; no man is perfect. And there is no human being who never does anything wrong!” The girl took a breath. “Yes, it's true. But now I realize that the sentence is just a justification so that my mind is not showered with guilt.

“Indeed, no man is perfect. But that does not mean, imperfections can be used as a reason to sin!

“Decorating my honor means desecrating my family's honor!

“Maybe for Big Brother, one kiss means nothing, but to me it's amazing. I am a Muslim girl. And a Muslim woman does not deserve to desecrate her chastity in the name of love!” Qalbie's eyes glazed over, “If indeed Big Brother was created especially for me.. Maybe one day, Big Brother will come in a better way than this.”

They were silent for a moment.

"So..you refused?" ask Rian then

“Iya, Brother!” answer the girl firmly. Head bowed.

“Girl village! Heh, whatever! You think, in this world, there's only you? Just so you know! There are a lot of girls out there better than you!” Rian turned on his motor. “Sok holy!”

“No. I refused not because of holy pretentiousness,” replied Qalbie calmly, “I refused for our good. Brother's kindness!”

They're silent

"Sister.."

Rian who was preparing to leave, seemed to be silently waiting for the next sentence.

“When Big Brother reached saturation point, I was here. And if Big Brother wants to come back, I'm still here.”

“Why do you always say that you are afraid that someone will see, even if we are already in a quiet and dark place?”

“Didn't Brother realize that God always sees us?”

Checkmate!

The skinny man was silent. Drifting in his own mind. Seeing that, Qalbie smiled, then left.

***

After arriving at the boarding house, Qalbie lay half-sitting while examining her cheeks at times.

Chilly

The girl still could not believe it, she would be that strong. Thankfully, God made it happen. Thankfully ... Allah protected.

Qalbie was relieved. Conscious. That love is a sacred entity that should not be tainted in order to satisfy lust.

Qalbie cheers smile.

Hampiiirr. Thank you, yes ... God![]