Wasurenagus
Part 05's

Finally after half an hour less inside the restaurant, we got out and got back in the car. Our next goal is my dormitory. I had once refused to be ushered in by Hana-san, but again he forced me. Is Hana-san really like this huh? Likes to impose the will.

“If there's anything, call me yes. No need to hesitate.”

“Iya. Thank you very much, Hana-san.” I slightly lowered my head in gratitude.

I got out of the car and bowed myself once more. I am so grateful to Hana-san. I was lucky to meet him today. Thanks to it I was able to enjoy a very good okonomiyaki. Then most importantly, I received Haru-san's phone.

After the red car left, I went into the room. I immediately sat on the bed and grabbed Haru-san's phone in the bag. As soon as I turned on the screen, I was immediately greeted with a photo of a young man smiling broadly. Oh my God, that smile is so sweet. She looked happy with the white cat she was hugging. Very adorable, Haru-san looks like a young man who is still innocent. I finally knew the figure that had always been on my mind.

Now is not the time to admire the wallpaper of his phone. My right thumb danced nimble over the screen looking for the diary that Hana-san was referring to. Ah, here's her diary. Without a second thought, I opened the diary.

A great deal. There's no way I'm reading it all tonight. Finally I decided to read from the date where we first met in cyberspace.

Writing for writing I read carefully. Strange, why didn't he write down the pain he was suffering here? Mostly about me complaining about my problems to him. After some thought, it turned out that I was really troublesome. I smiled mocking myself for acting as if I was the most miserable person in the world at that time, without realizing that Haru-san suffered much more. I should have been his back, not the other way around.

My finger then stopped in one of the inscriptions in her diary. Unknowingly my tears are dripping. I cry again.

I love you from the bottom of my heart, Nata. Up to any time, even to my last moment. Forever, you are my most precious treasure. Thank you for being born in this world to me. Thank you for giving me a little hope to live longer. I'm happy even though I can't have you. I'm sorry for being selfish. It seems like I was too arrogant, thinking that you have the same feelings as me.

I want to scream at myself. It turned out Haru-san to think like this. Stupid me.

I finally got to the last post. May 1, the day before his death.

Tomorrow morning I will perform the operation as Harada-sensei had suggested. I'm honestly very scared right now, but for the sake of being able to meet you in person I have to do it. After I recover, I'll meet you in Bandung. I will appear before you as a normal, healthy man. Just look, you will definitely be fascinated with me later. Wait me.

If Haru-san has time to write all this down, why won't he tell me directly, instead disappearing just like that? Doesn't he know that I'm worried about him? I couldn't reach her at all, it made me almost crazy.

Stupid me. Again I was selfish thinking this way. All this time Haru-san must have been suffering, enduring the pain all by herself. But he always tried to make me happy, not caring about himself. Even doing surgery, he did it for me.

At the beginning of the operation was running smoothly, still according to the initial estimate. But halfway through, Haru-san's condition suddenly deteriorated rapidly. The members of the operation team put everything in place to save his life. After repeated resuscitation but failing, Haru-san is pronounced dead. Of course Kirishima's extended family was devastated. His mother was unconscious for a whole day. That's what Kado-san said to me through the e-mail she sent.

Honestly, I feel like this is all my fault. Had Haru-san not done the surgery, he might still be alive right now. Had he not met me in that community, he would not have had to suffer more and end up suffering like that. I just added a burden to him. I trouble.

“Haru-san.

I shed tears back. Ah, I hate this. I broke my promise again.

Tinctong…

Someone pushed the bell in front of the door. Who the hell are these nights coming to my room?

“Yes? Who?” I hurriedly wiped my tears and placed the phone on the nightstand.

“I am a postman. There is a package for you,” answer the voice behind that door.

“This package for you. Please sign here,” said the package attendant as soon as I opened the door. He thrust out a medium-size box wrapped in chocolate cartons. My eyes were then fixed on the name of the sender in the upper left corner. Itsuki Gift?

I immediately took the package in and opened it as soon as I finished signing the receipt and locked the door. Is it true that Kado-san sent me a package? Wh why?

I still keep in touch with him by e-mail. He knew that I was living in Kyoto. We will meet in June during the summer holidays. Why didn't he just give it to me back then? Why bother sending it to me now?

“It..”.

I was stunned staring at a small clear glass box inside the package. This ‘kan ring box. Suddenly I feel ticklish. Don't-don't.. Kado-san likes me?

Maddened. Where possible.

My eyes were on the card to his right. A postcard with a picture of the Tokyo tower behind it. I read the message written there.

I hope you like it. I don't know what your taste is, but I've spent a lot of time before I finally chose.

It says initials ‘H.K.’ in the bottom right corner of the card. Kirishima Haruto. My face warmed up.

I put the card down and took the glass box. Real pretty. Haru-san's taste is really high. I quickly opened the box. An eyeless silver ring decorated with graceful simple carvings. I picked it up and flipped the ring. What am I looking for? There's no writing there.

I put the ring on my left ring finger. Perfect fit. How does Haru-san know the size of my finger? I smiled admiring the ring I was wearing. It was like I was married to Haru-san. I was happy, but on the other hand I was also sad to remember the fact that he had gone so far away to a place I could never reach.

I glanced at the package box. It turned out that there was a letter wrapped in a light blue envelope. I picked it up and read the contents. A letter from Kado-san.

Hows it? Do you like the card? I hope so. You know, she gets around to every jewelry store in Tokyo. I'm the one who has nothing to do with being involved. It's kind of annoying, but since he's my best friend, I follow him. Arriving at the apartment, my entire muscles felt stiff. Ah, that fucking Haru…

I laughed reading his heart. It's so bad, Kado-san.

Actually he wanted to present this when he came to see you in Bandung. But what can you do, you already know ‘kan? I finally sent it to you. I bet, you had thought that this was a gift from me ‘kan? Haha, where is possible. Yes, it is true that I sent but the contents, Haru prepared it. Especially you.

Don't blame yourself anymore, okay? All this is God's will. Believe me, Haru never once hated or blamed you. Because he loves you.

Stay up, Renata-san. Remember, Haru wants us all to be happy. Therefore, keep smiling with your head held high.

Keep smiling yes…

I stared at the ring I was still wearing. Right, I can't continue to be sad. For the sake of Haru-san who has given everything for me, I will exert everything. To live better and happier from now on.

I'll never forget him. Although only briefly, but he has become a valuable part of my life story. From him I learned a lot of things. From her, I got love. All of this will give me the strength to move on.

I love you, Haru-san. I will always remember you. Never gonna forget you…