Wasurenagus
Part 04's

“Yosh, we've arrived.” Hana-san turns off the engine and pulls out the car keys. “Yuk we are out.”

We got out of the car and went straight into the restaurant. It looks like a regular family restaurant. Thank goodness it's not a fancy restaurant.

“Order whatever you want.”

“I-iya.”

I looked one by one at the names of the food and drink listed there. Hana-san did the same.

“Have you decided?”

“Um.” nod, “I order one serving of okonomiyaki and a glass of ocha.”

“That's it?”

“Iya.”

“Good.”

Hana-san then raised her right hand and shouted to the waiter. He mentioned all of our orders while the waiter took note of them obediently.

“OK, while waiting we chat yuk.”

Hana-san is really funny. Didn't we have been talking since the meeting at the tomb until now?

“First question, why do you like Big Brother?” toodong.

“EH?! How could Hana-san think that?” I immediately wavered but tried to keep my behavior normal.

“If you cry that much, anyone would think that you have special feelings for him ‘kan? Plus you gave her that blue flower, wasurenagusa. Forget-me-nott. That means you always think about it and hope he also always remembers you ‘kan? Now, let's answer.” Hana-san puts a full investigation look at me like a detective interrogating a defendant to admit his crime.

So this is yes Hana-san's true goal of forcing me to eat with her. Using the reason that she wanted to greet me with a special representation of Haru-san and the fact that today was her birthday, was really sneaky. Wait, he said he saw me crying. Can't he see and hear everything? Oh my God, I want to disappear right now.

“Ummm... how about? Haru-san is a good person. Very good in fact. He taught me Japanese. Not only Japanese, he also taught me other things. He is also a good listener.”.

“Only that?”

“Ummm. Even though I have never met him in person. But I think.. Haru-san is a cool and awesome person.”

“So? So you want to see his face?”

“T-no, that's not what I mean.”

“Aduh auh...your face is red.” Hana-san puts on a meaningful smile. “Alright, I understand. Now the second question, why did you reject it back then?”

Eh? Why am I getting hit with a question like this? My heart is not ready. Isn't this a little outrageous?

“Because I don't want to hurt Haru-san..” I replied finally after a long time of thought.

“Tough to explain.” I bowed for a moment. “Many people fail to have long distance relationships. The average ended up hostile, berate each other and they ended up acting like they had never known each other before. I do not want such a relationship.. and also.. honestly I still have doubts.”.

“How to? Didn't he clearly say it back then?”

“I trust him. I love him very much. Precisely that's why I doubt.” I let out a breath. “I doubt... does an ordinary person like me can this make him happy?”

“Yeah, I guess what.” Hana-san looks to breathe a sigh of relief, “Why didn't you tell her the truth back then?”

“Which way maybe I could say such an embarrassing thing to him.”

Hana-san chuckles, “You are indeed stupid huh.”

“Iya, I am indeed stupid.” I replied limp.

“I'm just kidding. Cheers dong.”

“Ah, so yes.” I laughed wryly.

“Last question, were you mad at him because he didn't tell you anything all this time?”

This must be about the illness Haru-san suffered from. I only heard about this two months after his death. Kado-san, her best friend who lives in Tokyo, who tells her everything. It turns out Haru-san has been suffering from heart disease since birth. A year ago, in February, I suddenly lost contact with him. I couldn't reach him at all. Then in July, suddenly Kado-san sent me an e-mail. There he told the details of his illness and death. Haru-san died on May 2 at four in the afternoon at one of the hospitals in Kyoto, coinciding with his birthday. Yes, that is today.

To be honest, I was very angry and disappointed at the time. Why won't Haru-san open up to me to tell me his distress? Why wouldn't he share the pain he had suffered with me? Why did he have to disappear without any news? Why didn't anyone tell me about this? Why just now?

Then I thought, maybe I'm being too selfish. I didn't open the door for him to tell stories. Always, I always complain to him. I'm not sensitive. I should have taken the initiative to ask him.

But the rice has become porridge. There is no use for regrets anymore.

“Not anymore, Hana-san. I feel guilty for him. I should have been more sensitive, more concerned for him.”.

“It's okay. It's not your fault kok.” Hana-san's gaze softened. “Kakak was like that before. He doesn't want to make anyone worry about him. Ye know? Inside his head, he always thinks of you.” Hana-san then took out a mobile phone from inside her handbag. “This phone belongs to Sister. You can have it. Take it easy, I've removed the password. Read the diary there.”

I received that phone. “Ah, yes. Thank ye. But, why did Hana-san give it to me?”

“It is rather unfortunate to hand over the thing that contains the most precious memories of Brother, but the person who made the most beautiful memories with him is you.” Hana-san took a pause for a moment. “You are the most entitled to have it. I'm sure Big Brother wants to be like that too. At least, this is what I can do for her as a sister.”

Shortly after, our order arrived. I put the phone in my bag.

“Come, we're eating now. Itadakimasu.” Hana-san started clamping the sushi pieces with chopsticks.

“Itadakimasu.” I took out a knife and fork and then cut the okonomiyaki. So yummy. It was different from the okonomiyaki I used to buy near my dorm. It was so good that I wanted to cry.

I'm looking ahead. It looks like Hana-san is enjoying the food. Pieces and pieces of sushi were devoured quickly. I did not expect a woman as beautiful and elegant as she has a little way to eat ‘liar’.

If the one in front of me right now is Haru-san, does she also have the same way of eating as Hana-san?